I really shouldn't have agreed to this.
It started with a polite request from the Dungeon:
"Could you... taste-test some items for me?"
I blinked. "...Taste-test?"
"Yes. To ensure quality for my patrons. Slimes, goblins and other customers have very
... particular palates."
At this point, I realized my life had officially become an unpaid internship for the dungeon itself.
Step one: The "taste-testers" arrived.
First, a slime named Globby. Cute enough, except it oozes all over the table.
Second, a goblin named Grunk. Extremely vocal. Complains about everything.
Third, a giant centipede with glasses.
Yes.
Glasses.
Apparently, it's the dungeon's "food critic."
I tried to sit down politely. They didn't care.
First item: squid jerky.
Globby wobbled forward, swallowed it whole, then shivered. "Good chew, excellent saltiness!"
Grunk snorted. "Too chewy! My jaw! My jaw hurts!"
Centipede adjusted glasses. "Needs more... oregano."
I scribbled notes like a human dartboard in a weird, edible storm.
Then came the soda.
Globby shook with excitement, Grunk demanded a straw (we don't have straws for monsters) and Centipede... well, it wrote a review in braille on my arm.
At this point, I'm sticky, dizzy and questioning every life choice that brought me here.
Next was the candy section.
Globby tried to share a gummy worm with me. I politely refused.
Grunk stole two packs and started a "Goblin Candy Hoard."
Centipede critiqued the texture of each individually.
And then... the disaster.
Mira, who decided to "help" by organizing the taste test, tripped.
She fell into the table. The table wobbled. The soda erupted like a volcano.
Globby merged with a candy pile.
Grunk screamed.
Centipede adjusted glasses and muttered something about "unacceptable chaos."
I did what any sane person would do: I grabbed the nearest bag of jerky and ran.
By the time the room stopped spinning, Globby had reformed, Grunk was sulking in a corner and Centipede had written a formal complaint letter addressed to me.
The Dungeon, however, was completely calm.
"Excellent feedback" it said, sipping tea. "I'll mark this batch as experimentally approved.'"
I stared. "...Are you serious?"
"Absolutely. You survived. That counts for points."
I slumped into a chair. "I need vacation days... or a restraining order."
"Against an unknown entity."