I thought I'd seen it all.
But I was wrong.
It started with a simple request:
"Could you deliver my order?"
That's what the Dungeon said over the counter at 1:30 a.m. holding a clipboard with a list that looked suspiciously like it was written in both English and ancient runes.
I blinked. "Deliver... where?"
"Floor Three. Near the Western Chasm. Please be careful and don't make eye contact with the slime guards."
Now, let me clarify something: I am not an adventurer. I'm a store clerk.
My battle experience is limited to:
Waving a broom at a goblin once.
Accidentally spilling a soda on a customer (twice).
Negotiating jerky prices like it's a life-or-death quest.
Yet here I am, clutching a brown paper bag full of snacks, walking into a dungeon that actively tries to eat you.
The first challenge today is: the slime guards.
They were... larger than expected. Blob-like, pulsating, and wearing little helmets made out of tin cans. They didn't attack me immediately, no, they just... stared. The kind of stare that makes you question every life decision you've ever made.
I held out the paper bag like an offering. "Snacks?"
One slime wobbled closer, sniffed, then suddenly exploded into confetti. I have no idea what just happened, but I... survived.
Next, the Western Chasm.
It's basically a very deep pit with a rickety bridge made of bones, ropes and hope.
Halfway across, Mira, who apparently followed me "to make sure I don't die" tried to cheer me on by singing battle songs.
Loud.
Off-key.
While swinging a mop like a sword.
This only distracted me enough to almost step on a "trap tile" that shot out glitter instead of spikes.
Glitter.
Everywhere.
Finally, I reached the delivery point.
A shadowy figure appeared from the darkness, humanoid, slightly taller than me, wearing a cloak that smelled faintly of... cinnamon?
"Ah! You brought the snacks!" it said. Its voice was melodic, like it spent most of its time talking to birds.
I handed over the paper bag, trying not to faint. "Uh… the Dungeon... says you're
... um... supposed to be getting these?"
The figure laughed, a soft chime-like sound. "Yes! You have been chosen as... my courier. Not everyone survives this assignment. Congratulations."
The walk back was... eventful.
Mira slipped on glitter.
I almost dropped the snacks into the Chasm and somehow, the slime guards decided to chase me for... reasons unknown.
By the time I returned to the store, the Dungeon was waiting.
Calmly.
Smiling.
Holding a mug of tea.
"You made it back" it said.
"Impressive. I'll mark this as a successful delivery. You now officially have Dungeon Delivery Experience Points."
I sat down heavily. "Do these... come with dental insurance and riches?"
The Dungeon tilted its shadowy head. "No. But you do get more Platinum Loyalty Points."
I groaned, loudly.