I don't even know where to start today.
It all began with the Dungeon casually saying:
"Tomorrow is Delivery Festival Day. Everyone who participates earns double points."
I blinked. "...Delivery Festival?"
"Yes" it said, as if this were normal.
"It's a tradition. Goblins, slimes, adventurers... all want snacks and you'll be the courier."
I immediately wished I had a cape.
Or a helmet.
But mostly a very large "Do Not Disturb" sign.
Delivery 1: The Slime Village - Floor Two
The first delivery was simple on paper: deliver squid jerky to Globby's slime village.
I grabbed the bag, stepped into the corridor, and immediately realized two things:
Slimes are not small. Globby is not small. Globby bouncing on your back at full speed hurts.
The corridor had somehow been flooded with... floating donuts. No explanation. No warning. Just donuts.
Globby kept bouncing, occasionally merging with the donuts and squealing in delight. I tripped twice, slid once and almost collided with a wall of reflective slime.
The village itself was... adorable, if you ignore the goo puddles and the occasional miniature volcano spitting candy. Globby introduced me to other slime residents. One of them shook my hand and left a sticky residue on my sleeve.
Another attempted to hug me... and merged with my pants.
Finally, I handed over the jerky.
Globby squealed happily, jumped, and splattered confetti slime all over me.
I got: +50 points.
Delivery 2: Centipede's Candy Labyrinth - Floor Three
Next up: the Centipede's Candy Labyrinth. The request? "Rare chocolate bars for my latest experiment."
The labyrinth... was alive. The walls shifted, pathways twisted and somehow there were mirrors reflecting infinite versions of myself holding chocolate. It was the most horrifying funhouse I'd ever been trapped in.
Mira appeared halfway in, holding a mop like a sword. "We can do this!" she shouted. Then promptly walked straight into a wall, bouncing off it like a rubber ball.
At one point, I had to negotiate with a group of arguing goblins over who got the last caramel. One goblin tried to eat me, thinking I was chocolate.
Globby reappeared from nowhere and attempted to "help" by bouncing into the mirrors, creating a visual paradox that nearly made me dizzy enough to pass out.
Eventually, by a combination of shouting, bribery with extra chocolate and sheer luck, we retrieved the bars and escaped. The Centipede adjusted its glasses and jotted a review in braille on my arm.
+75 points.
Delivery 3: Western Chasm - Floor Four
Finally... the Grand Delivery. Western Chasm.
This was supposed to be a simple drop-off, but of course nothing is simple in a dungeon.
Slimes decided to use me as a bouncy castle.
Rogue goblins set up "checkpoint inspections" demanding I show my bag five times.
The Chasm itself nearly swallowed me while I tried to dodge floating rocks, swinging vines and a very judgmental owl.
At one point, I fell into a small pit. Mira tried to help me... and fell in too. We both tumbled down a slide of glitter and candy wrappers, landing on a soft pile of moss that smelled faintly of tuna.
The recipient was a shadowy figure in a hooded cloak, reading a book about "Magical Snack Pairings."
They accepted the delivery with a polite nod and muttered something like, "Impressive dexterity for a human."
I climbed back to the surface, sticky, exhausted and muttering under my breath about filing a formal complaint to the Dungeon about unreasonable delivery conditions.
+100 points. Platinum level unlocked.
By the end of the day, I was sticky, exhausted and mildly traumatized.
But the Dungeon was ecstatic.
"Congratulations! You've officially earned enough points for something special..."
I froze. "...Special?"
"Next time" it said, smiling with that shadowy, apron-wearing charm, "I'll show you the Dungeon Shop."
I groaned.
But secretly... I was excited.
Because if points meant rare magical items, maybe I could finally get a coffee machine that doesn't explode on contact