"Damn, it's totaled. My poor giant robot."
Mo Wang looked at the wreckage of Great Magnus and sighed. "I should have held back. This is going to take forever to fix."
Showing off was fun, but the aftermath was a pain. He had just been laughing at his Star Rail self, and now it was his turn to cry. The dreaded miHoYo boomerang had struck again.
But since he was already miserable, he might as well share it with the group chat.
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Bros, this new robot is not sturdy at all. Be careful when you pilot it. I'm definitely giving the seller a one-star review. [Image.jpg]
[A Certain Hyperion's King of Slacking]: Holy crap, a wrecked Great Magnus? Bro, what did you do?
[A Certain Teyvat Blondie]: You've only had it for a few days, and it's already broken? Does the seller offer a warranty?
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Uh, nothing much. Goetia just showed up early with two Demon God Pillars...
[A Certain Video Store Owner]: So you went a little overboard, broke the robot, and now you're here for sympathy?
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: Lol! Weren't you just laughing at me? Kekeke, didn't expect the boomerang to hit you so soon. This is hilarious! I'm going to laugh about this for a year!
[A Certain King of Kivotos]: Lol, what a loser.
[A Certain Mankind's Strongest Martial Arts Genius]: Kicking a man when he's down is the nature of this group chat.
[A Certain Strongest Demon Lord]: We may have our differences, but we all share a common love for schadenfreude, my friend.
[A Certain Ark's Succubus]: But what did you do? Why did Goetia show up early with Demon God Pillars? Did you stir up some weird stuff?
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Slander! I didn't do anything! It's libel!
[A Certain Soul Player Aspiring to be the King of Games]: Really? You sure? Why don't you send us a memory log?
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Ahem, well, I might have released a little bit of Honkai and a Stellaron in the first singularity. No big deal, right?
[A Certain Little Red Cap Destined to be a Chick Magnet]: No wonder Goetia went ballistic. You really know how to cause trouble. Are you trying to make FGO even more chaotic?
[A Certain Hottest Pokémon Trainer]: Honkai and a Stellaron? I'm surprised anyone is still alive in the first singularity.
[A Certain Dungeon's Salted Fish among 8 Million Warriors]: The Nasuverse is about to explode, isn't it?
[A Certain Savior of Human Order]: Probably not? I think the two of them are pretty strong, right?
[A Certain Video Store Owner]: You mean the two whose prestige has been dropping ever since FGO came out?
[A Certain Train's Trash King]: If you think those two pseudo-planetary consciousnesses can compare to Honkai and the Aeons, who can destroy stars for breakfast, then I have nothing to say.
[A Certain King of Kivotos]: Even if they manage to block them, you probably infected them with some kind of virus. They're going to be so mad at you.
[A Certain Mankind's Strongest Martial Arts Genius]: Lol, now I understand why Goetia showed up. You're the one causing all the trouble.
Mo Wang put away Great Magnus and scratched his head. It's just a little bit of Honkai. It's probably fine, right?
"Whatever! The first singularity is done. Time to go home," he said, shaking his head.
When he returned to the city, he saw Jalter sitting alone in the shadows, her red eyes downcast. "What's up with her?" he asked Jeanne.
"Master, when the Demon God Pillars attacked, she was the one who protected the soldiers," Jeanne explained. "She said they deserved to die, but she still used her Noble Phantasm to block three of their attacks."
"So she's a tsundere?" Mo Wang muttered, and then walked over to Jalter. "What's up? Come to gloat?" she sneered.
"Gloat? No, no, I don't have time for that," he said, shaking his head.
"Then what do you want?"
"To kill you, of course," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"K-kill me?"
"The Holy Grail is inside you. How else am I supposed to end this singularity?"
Jalter knew she had to die, but hearing him say it so bluntly still came as a shock.
"What, you having second thoughts?" he asked.
"Y-you bastard!"
"Are you going to give a deathbed speech? 'Oh, I was wrong, humanity is worth saving,' or something like that? I'm so tired of that cliché."
"Who's... who's having second thoughts?!" she snapped. "I... I just..."
"Oh? You can't say it?" he said with a grin. "Then don't."
Stab!
Before she could react, he had plunged a dagger into her chest. "Y-you... you actually...!"
"Hmm? What's the problem? You were going to die anyway. I just sped things up. You should thank me."
"Bastard...!" she cursed, her body beginning to fade. "Aren't you afraid... I'll curse you?!"
"Curse me? Go ahead. You'll be my Servant in Chaldea soon enough. You can curse me all you want then."
"Chaldea...?"
"Yeah. You didn't think you'd just be gone, did you? Don't you know the basic rules of a Holy Grail War? Servants who die just go back to the Throne of Heroes. I'll just summon you again."
"You... you tricked me?!"
"It's called efficiency," he said, wiping the blood from his dagger. "Now hurry up and disappear. I have to go collect the Holy Grail."
"Damn you...! Just you wait! When I get to Chaldea, I'll burn you to a crisp...!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be waiting. Make sure to make an appointment. I'm very busy."
"You—!" Her final words were swallowed by the light of her disappearing spirit particles.
The other Servants stared in stunned silence. "Senpai... wasn't that... a little cruel?" Mash asked.
"Cruel? How? I just put her out of her misery. And besides, I can just summon her again. She should be grateful."
Everyone: "..." This guy is a lost cause.
"Alright, alright, Jalter's taken care of. Now it's your turn," Mo Wang said, turning to the other Servants. "If you're going to die, do it quickly, and leave me a souvenir. Blood, hair, fingernails, personal belongings... anything will do. Don't make me dig up your graves."
The Servants stared at him, dumbfounded.
"S-Senpai! That's so rude!" Mash exclaimed.
"Rude? I'm saving them the trouble! It's so much easier if they just give me a DNA sample now!"
"Master," Charlemagne said, his eye twitching, "didn't you say you wouldn't dig up any more graves? Besides, you already..."
"Alright, alright, just give it to me. I'll take it." Charlemagne reluctantly handed over his golden sword.
"See? That wasn't so hard." Mo Wang then went around collecting "souvenirs" from the other Servants: a fang from Elizabeth, a lock of hair from Astolfo, a pocket watch from Mozart, a brooch from Marie, a piece of armor from Saint George...
"And this is my banner," Jeanne said, handing it to him. "It has witnessed all my battles. I entrust it to you now."
"Don't worry, I'll take good care of it. I'll give it back to you in Chaldea," he said, and for once, he sounded serious.
"Then... I'll see you in Chaldea, Master," she said with a smile as she faded away.
"Yeah, see you then. Remember to make an appointment. I'm busy," he said, and then turned to the others. "Alright, let's go collect the Holy Grail. The sooner we're done, the sooner we can go home. I'm itching to do some gacha rolls!"
But as they were leaving, they completely forgot about the other Servant who was still lying unconscious in the city.
And when Romani initiated the Rayshift, Mo Wang didn't find himself back in Chaldea. Instead, he was standing in front of two crying lolis.
Mo Wang: (-`д´-)? What now?