I couldn't breathe anymore, it felt like I would die any second by now if I'm not able to see Luca alive.
Please be alive! Please be alive! Please be okay!
Please just be fine! Please live for me!
I was in my own thoughts, my mind filled wth the most unpleasant, heart breaking thoughts, the kind maybe no one would have.
Every thought was harming me in it's own way and I couldn't even shake them off, why?
Because in the end, I was the one to be blamed for his condition.
I killed him, I went their own my accord, I could have done something different, I could have let the police handle it, it could've been scam right? I was the one who wanted to act heroic and take the matters in my own hands.
I should be the one to suffer, why him? Why Luca? Why the person who was the first ever person to accept me fully, love me the way I was.
Please, god, let me...let me die, just not him...let him live, any way, even if it means that I will have to be separated from him, love away from him.
I will...just don't kill him!
I kept praying for him, while the doctors and officers around me were trying to talk me out of it and take me to get myself checked, but I was determined, that I was going to remain here until theu give me a good news related to Luca.
What took me out of my thoughts was Kalix's yell across the corridor as I raised my head and saw him running in my direction.
I stood up from the chair, wrapping my arms around him and hugged him crying, breaking apart.
"What happened Laurel, I.. forgot my phone at home and then...I...got busy I... I'm sorry I...I saw your message when I came back home..."
Kalix was looking shocked looking at me all messed up, my full face was bruised, the bandage covering the my old wound was gone, my lips leaking some blood, there were scratches on my arm, I was covered in dust.
But none lf it mattered to me, not even the broken hand.
"Luca...save... just...just ask them to save him... I will die... I will die without him...please."
"Sir, please ask her to let us check her wounds, she is not in a great shape but she is not ready to move!"
"Laurie... please... let's go...okay? First let the doctor treat your wounds..."
"I...will...but at least, just at least let the doctor give me some good news that he is okay, then I swear I will go... I will go by myself!"
Kalix sighed at my childish behaviour, but didn't say a word to me about it, instead he turned to the doctors and asked them to bring the first aid and treat me here.
The officers, who were standing there took Kalix to a corner and were talking to him, about most probably the kidnapping, what else could be there.
I was looking at Kalix while he talked when the door of OT opened and the doctor who was incharge of Luca stepped outside and I quickly rushed to him.
Despite being in an conversation with the officers, Kalix excused himself and walked to us, while I was praying within myself, hoping for the best news.
"The patient is fine, we managed to get him out of the critical state, even though the bullets had pierced the muscles closest to his heart, thank fully nothing had happened to it, and about the hit to his brain, it was also a bit critical but it is all fine now, but we are going to keep him in ICU u til there is a positive sign or positive response by his side, because his body is still in grave danger since his condition was quite serious and he might get a hemorrhage or a stroke of something happens."
The doctor's words were like magic to my shattering heart, a sigh of relief escaped my lips, and my body slumped over the bench.
"He is fine! Kalix he...Luca is fine!"
I chirped, I was over the moon, just the news was enough to heal the internal wounds, the wound that was a biggest and the most painful of them all, the wound of my heart.
Kalix smiled at my words, as he bent down Infront of me.
"The doctors have said he is fine now, right?"
I nodded at his question.
"So please go and get yourself treated, Luca won't like it, if he sees you in this condition."
As if after hearing the news, my mind had also started working a bit, and now Kalix's word were making a sense and I agreed with him.
The doctors took me to another room, while Kalix stayed there, for any news by doctors related to Luca.
As I was taken to the room my eyes went ahead of me, where there was a mirror kept adjacent to me, making my face clearly visible to me, not just my face, my whole body.
My face was pale, my ocean blue iris was surrounded with redness, darkness under eyes, my hair were a mess, the bandage that was covering my forehead wound was nowhere to be seen, and it was all red now.
Hand marks that tattooed on my cheeks, red visible marks, the corner of my lips, had blood dried up there.
I was looking like a while different person, the clothes I was wearing were ripped from many places, and I was fully covered in dust.
The nurses carefully cleaned my wounds, all of them, my cheeks were a bit swollen by now so she began using ice packs for it, and I was hating it.
X-ray of my left hand, and then plastered it, the nurses, the doctors I had more than 5 of them around me, all the questions they asked me I couldn't still understand them a bit, so I either just shook my head and nodded.
Even after my wounds were all taken care of, especially the fracture, the doctors were still insisting me to rest but my sole focus was Luca.
I was sitting on the wheel chair, as the nurse dragged my wheel chair to the room where Luca had been shifted.
Every though he was out of critical stage, his life was still in danger, the head injury, it had caused a minor hemorrhage but the bullets were the one that had thrown him in greater danger, specially because they had damaged the area close to him heart, maybe the heart was damaged too?
"Laurie...why don't you go and rest for a bit, I'll call you when Luca wakes up, please."
Kalix request was filled with plead, but I wanted to stay with Luca, stay with him even if he was sleeping and didn't want me with him.
I had prayed for him and he was fine, so I don't care if he is awake or not, I just want to be there for him.
It had been more 5 hours since both me and Luca were brought here and other than Kalix, no one else was here with us.
"Kalix, do you have any number of Luca's friends or family?"
I asked him, who was standing next to the bench, talking to someone through text.
My question made his attention divert from his phone to me.
"Luca's friends?"
I nodded.
"I only have Xavier's number, other than him I don't have anyone else's."
"It's fine...just call him, he should be here."
My eyes were on my lap, staring at my fractured left hand that was plastered now, even the slight movement was hurting.
My whole body was, but whenever the thought of rest popped up in my mind, I used to start feeling nauseous, feeling hate towards myself.
Soon Xavier was here, and not just him Cecily and Cassian too...
All of the were shocked looking at my condition, especially Cecily because she had left just some hours ago after spending quality time with us.
It was 6 in the morning, Luca wasn't awake till now and all five of us were growing restless for him.
He was in a private ward, no one was allowed to visit him either, and I was dying to see him.
There was a team of doctors and nurses, constantly checking up on him, not leaving him away from their sight, at all the time a doctor and two nurses were there at most with him.
And kept updating us regarding his health, the police officers had long gone, but they were in contact with Kalix, telling him about how much they have found the traces of the kidnapper, if the men who are arrested have said anything to them.
"Mr. Luca is awake! You can see him."