Chapter 28: You Should See a Psychiatrist
With so many people at the scene, William could only pretend not to notice Diana Rigg's flirtatious signals, and ignored the teasing and coaxing from the other reporters.
Roger Moore, who was sitting beside him, blinked, giving him a look that said, *You lucky dog, having beautiful women fall into your arms.*
William, however, didn't believe for a second that Diana Rigg had really fallen in love with him at first sight. What English reporter wouldn't see him as a rich mark? A hot celebrity to use for fame and fortune. It would be even better for her if they got married; after a divorce, she could walk away with half his property and instantly become one of the richest women in the country.
It wasn't that William didn't believe in love, but he didn't believe in love *at first sight*. There couldn't be that much of it going around, not when the divorce rate in England was the second highest in Europe. And the highest? The country of bullfighting, Spain. Who would have thought?
After a few years, everyone is in pain. It is better to learn from the sons of Hong Kong's Li Ka-shing and just not get married at all.
William glanced at his watch and signaled for the host to take the next question.
"William, hello, I'm John Trison from *The Sun*. I just received news that the Earl of Oxford has established you as his heir. What do you have to say about this?"
William cursed inwardly. He was being scrutinized before he'd even inherited the title. The English press was certainly obsessed with the nobility; they could smell a story from a mile away.
"Your newspaper is truly amazing," William said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I only just received that news at noon today myself. How did you manage to get information that should have been confidential so quickly? I think I'll have my phone checked tomorrow. With modern technology, who knows what one might find inside."
"I protest!" John Trison shouted, his face turning red with shame and anger. "Mr. William Devinshire, I protest your baseless insinuation that *The Sun* engaged in eavesdropping! I demand a public apology and compensation for the damage to our reputation!"
William put on a look of mock surprise. He turned to his lawyer. "Hey, Anthony, looks like some business is coming your way. If *The Sun* sues me, you'll help me out, right, my friend?"
"No problem, William. Our law firm would be very willing to serve you," Anthony nodded professionally.
"That's good," William said with a laugh. "I have faith in your firm's abilities. But I never said *The Sun* eavesdropped. I just said I wanted to check my own phone."
Anthony nodded again. "Mr. Devinshire, our firm is fully capable of winning this lawsuit for you. I promise this will not cause you any trouble."
"Haha! Hey, John Trison, you heard him!" William said, turning back to the fuming reporter. "I welcome you to sue me. Maybe you'll win. Maybe you'll get millions of pounds! Wow!"
The reporters in the room looked from William to John Trison and burst out laughing. Most of them knew enough about the law to understand that William's ambiguous insinuation was not enough to be upheld in court. Only an idiot like John Trison would fall for such an obvious trap.
It seemed tomorrow's papers would be full of interesting stories. The other tabloids would not miss a chance to trample on *The Sun*.
They didn't know if John Trison would still have a job tomorrow. His editor-in-chief would probably fire him.
A group of reporters looked at John Trison with unconcealed glee, their eyes seeming to say, *You're finished, you idiot.*
John Trison, flustered, tried to recover. "William Devinshire, you haven't answered my question yet! Please answer my question! Don't change the subject! As far as I know, you have no right of inheritance!"
"You'll have to take that up with the House of Lords. They seem to think I do," William said, looking at John Trison as if he were an idiot.
However, seeing the expectant faces of the other reporters, he realized that if he didn't explain, they would just dig for the story themselves. He decided it was better to clarify things on the live broadcast.
"Alright, since you're all so anxious, I'll kindly explain it to you," William said. "According to English noble inheritance law, the current Earl has no direct relatives. In the collateral line of the family, there is only one male. That means I am the only one qualified to inherit the title. Do you understand, Mr. John Trison?"
John Trison refused to give up. "But there are many Devinshire descendants in Devonshire. They could inherit the earldom. Why you? I think there's some backroom dealing going on!"
At this, some of the other reporters murmured in agreement. Yes, what about the other Devinshires?
"I don't know if you're ill, but I think you should see a psychiatrist. What is the surname of the Duke of Devonshire? It's Cavendish. Do I need to say anything else? I strongly recommend you go for a psychiatric evaluation. Don't delay treatment." William's voice was calm and clinical. "You might even thank me later. But if you do thank me, please let me know, so I can open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Here's to your health, and to you having more time to deal with your... condition."
Haha! The reporters at the scene howled with laughter. William was truly ruthless and cunning. He wanted to call the man mentally ill without saying it directly, and yet everyone understood perfectly.
He had even told John Trison to let him know about his diagnosis so he could pop a bottle of champagne to celebrate. *Damn,* the other reporters thought, *none of us are as cruel as William. He's literally cursing him to be mentally ill.*
*But seeing* The Sun *get beaten down like this... how refreshing!* everyone thought to themselves.
"Mr. William Devinshire, does that mean that, barring any accidents, you will become a noble in the near future?" a different reporter asked.
"Wait. I don't think we should say 'in the near future.' Let's say 'some day in the future.' But I hope that moment comes as late as possible, because I wish the current Earl of Oxford good health and a long life. To be honest, the title is not something I ever expected. Before today, I never imagined I could inherit an earldom. This is all God's arrangement for me."
The reporters couldn't help but applaud again. They thought to themselves, *Is William really only nineteen? How can he speak so flawlessly?*
Seeing that his trap had failed to catch William, the reporter who had asked the question had to continue. "Alright, William, what are your thoughts on the Earl's family wealth? As far as I know, the Earl's fortune has increased greatly in the past ten years. When he took over, the Devinshire family's real estate was worth less than four hundred thousand pounds. It has now increased to over eleven million pounds. William, what can you say about getting such a large fortune out of thin air?"
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