After that night, everything fell apart. My dad didn't sleep in the same room as my mom like he used to. He would sleep on the couch in the parlor, and every morning, he wouldn't even bother to eat breakfast with us. He would wake up, grab his things, and step out immediately, returning only in the night like a ghost haunting our home. He barely even noticed me, like I was invisible. I barely saw his face, and when I did, it was like looking at a stranger. On Saturdays, when he used to stay a while before he left, I tried moving close to him, hoping for a hug, hoping for some love. But he would either push me away or slap me across the face, leaving me feeling rejected and broken.
On several occasions my mom would try confronting him asking him to change his behaviour, sincerely begging him to tell her what she had done wrong, but my dad would spit on her face and he would pull her into the room and locked the door, like a prison cell. I heard screams and pleas and bangs, like a nightmare come to life. My heart was racing, my little body trembling with fear. I wanted to save her, I wanted to make it stop.
When he unlocks the door, I would rush inside, and what I always saw haunts me everytime. My mom was layed on the floor, her body filled with injuries and blood. She was weeping, her tears mixing with the blood, like a river of pain. I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I was frozen in shock.
Everything changed after that. My home was no longer a home, it was a war zone. My mom's smile disappeared, replaced by tears and pain. My dad's love disappeared, replaced by anger and hatred. And I was left alone, lost and scared, wondering what I did wrong. Why didn't my dad love me anymore? Why was he hurting us like this?
And then, this question keeps haunting me every now and then, what happened to my dad? Why did he suddenly start acting like this? Was it something I did? Was it something mom did?, I couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something more to this, something I didn't know. Something that changed everything...
I sat at his feet, my tiny body shaking with sobs. My tears dropped onto his feet, like a river of sorrow. I pleaded and begged him to talk to me, to change and forgive me. I whispered, "Daddy, please... please talk to me. I'll be good, I promise. I'll do anything... just don't push me away." But he just kicked me away, like I was nothing. Like I was a piece of trash. His foot connected with my side, and I tumbled to the floor, gasping for air.
I lay there, staring up at him, my eyes filled with tears. I couldn't understand why he was doing this to me. Why he was hurting me like this. I felt like I was dying, like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. I whispered, "Daddy... why? Why are you doing this to me?"
He just looked at me, his eyes cold and hard. No love, no warmth. Just a blank stare. And then, he turned and walked away, leaving me lying on the floor, alone and broken.
Every time he saw my mom, he would lash out at her, brutally injuring her. At times, he locked her in the room and wouldn't let her out until late in the night, and by the time she'd come out, she would be out of breath, gasping for air. My dad would step on her head and would always say, "You Slothful Bitch..." He would then spit on her face and push her down the stairs. I would hear her screams, her cries, and I would feel like my heart was being ripped apart.
At times, I would go a day without eating. I stopped going to school, and my whole day was spent beside my window, crying and screaming. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, and I couldn't wake up. Grandma would visit us, but my dad wouldn't let mom step out. He would always say she's out. I knew he was lying, but I couldn't do anything.
My mom didn't have a family, she once told me a tale of how she lost her parents at a young age due to an ailment, an ailment that ruined her childhood, I wondered what kind of ailment it was, what kind would wipe out her entire family, was it this ailment that my dad his fighting mom for ?
She was the only survivor, she was raised my dad's parent, on one of the special nights the three of us used to spent together my mom, dad and me, on the terrace, laughing and telling each other stories. My mom told me how troublesome my dad was when they were little, how mischievious he was, how they would play around together and get into trouble together. My dad smiled he said, " When your grandma brought her home, I was very happy, finally I had someone to play with and talk to, although I didn't know who she was, she was a stranger but I felt this unmistakable connection with her .." , then they would kiss, it was disgusting to me then and I would always wish they never kissed again, but now I want to see both of them kiss again, I want to see them happy or was it my foolish wish that caused all this problem ?, I wondered, maybe if I hadn't made that foolish wish I would still have the, the love of dad , his gentle touch and his warm smile. All I see now is a monster ready to kill my mum, I wondered how she felt, she was alone at some point in her childhood and now she's trapped in this hell with my dad. I felt so sorry for her, and I wanted to save her. I wanted to make it all stop, but what could I do.., I couldn't possibly fight dad, he would butcher me..
As I sat there, staring out the window, I wondered... Would I ever be free from this nightmare? Would my mom ever be safe? Would I ever find happiness again ?