The sounds of moving cars stirred me from my slumber. My body shivered like a leaf caught in a thunderstorm—cold, fragile, and directionless. I pulled my knees to my chest, trying to conserve whatever warmth was left in me. Tears welled up again, sliding down my dirt-streaked cheeks, hot against the morning chill.
"The sun's rising..." I whispered to no one.
Another day—out here, alone. Lost. My stomach twisted painfully. I hadn't eaten a single crumb since I ran away. Three days. Three days since I left the orphanage... since I walked away from the only place I dared to believe could be called home. Soon, people would start pouring out—off to their jobs, their lives, their normalcy. Some would stare at me with pity... others with disgust. And I'd just lie here, invisible yet exposed, a stain on their morning.
What did I ever do to deserve this kind of life? Why can't I find peace? Or happiness?, Maybe... maybe if I hadn't killed Dad...Maybe I'd still be home. Maybe Grandma would have come for me. Maybe I wouldn't feel this broken. But I did it—I killed him. My own father. And that one act tore my world apart.
Why? Why did I do it?, As the question echoed in my head, the memories returned—vivid, sharp, haunting.
That night.
The knife.
The blood.
Digging the knife into Dad's body… I saw it again. That maniacal smile spread across my face. His shocked expression—full of betrayal and pain.
My whole body tensed as the memory played in my mind like a broken film reel I couldn't turn off.
"Dad... I'm sorry..." I whispered inside. "I didn't mean to... I don't know what pushed me. I... Grandma... please, forgive me." Tears spilled again, soaking the sleeves of my tattered shirt. My body shook harder, not just from the cold but from the weight of guilt. But then... my thoughts drifted. Drifted to the one place that made the pain soften a little— The orphanage.
The lawn where we'd sit, laugh, and play.
The dining table, where Ronnie would pull his mischievous tricks just to distract us—so he could steal our food. The Saturday lessons with Miss Cathy, her gentle voice teaching us simple English words.
The Sunday night stories...The rainy days where we'd all run outside, screaming with joy, dancing in the downpour like life had no rules I wished I had cherished those moments more. They reminded me of my early days with Mom and Dad... back when life still felt whole.
Now, all those days were gone— Just like the rain. Fleeting. Faded.
Then her face came to me—Miss Cathy.
Stern, yet warm. Firm, yet safe.Her promise echoed in my mind like shattered bells— "I promise I will never leave you..." She had said it once, holding my hand like I was the most precious thing in the world.
Where did all that love go?, Why would she want to send me away? Why take me in at all if she was just going to let me go? If she knew she couldn't keep me, why didn't she just leave me to die back then? Maybe that would've been easier. Maybe then my horrible life would've ended before it truly began.
Did she know what I did? No... no, she couldn't have, I never told anyone, No one saw me. It was my secret—my burden alone.
So why? , Why did she suddenly change?, I thought I was one of her own... "Her child," she said.
But was that all just a lie?
A lump rose in my throat. I wrapped my arms tighter around myself, wishing—begging—that somehow, I could rewind everything. Go back. Fix something. Anything. If only I could go back—just one last time—and ask her why. Ask her to look me in the eyes and tell me I didn't matter. But what if... what if I actually tried?, What if I went back? What if I stood at the door and begged, pleaded—what if she saw me and realized I had no one else? That I was lost without her? That she was all I had left?
My legs trembled beneath me, but I forced myself up. I had no idea where I was. The city stretched around me like a grey, endless maze. I was barefoot. My skin stung with cold. But I took a step… and then another.The wind pushed against me, as if fate itself wanted me to stay down. But I didn't stop. I have to go back..back to the orphanage. Maybe… maybe she'll take me in again.
The sky was brightening now—the early sun spilling over the rooftops. I picked up pace, heart pounding, hope flickering somewhere deep inside. I reached the end of the street and dashed across the road—
SCREECH.
Blinding headlights. A deafening thud. My body hit the ground hard. Air rushed out of my lungs.
Everything blurred.
The sounds, the light...
And then—silence.