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==============
"Marry me."
"Let's break up."
"Huh?"
"Eh?"
Blink, just in front of me. On our usual dining table.
Inside the open jewelry box, a ring sparkled. The highly transparent gem embedded in it clearly possessed an eternal shine, even to an amateur's eye.
"Iroha, what did you just say?"
"You too, Senpai. Eh...?"
Both of us were confused, and the conversation was going nowhere. Because Senpai was supposed to propose to Orimoto-san today, and I was supposed to be broken up with here. Knowing that, I wanted to be the one to initiate the breakup.
"...Let's sort this out for a moment. Iroha. Why are you saying you want to break up with me?"
"Because... Senpai, you proposed to Orimoto-san, didn't you? I heard it right there!"
Unable to hold back my accusatory tone, Senpai buried his face in his hands, groaning, "Ahhh." Did that mean he was doing something he shouldn't have been seen doing? If so, then why would he be saying "Marry me"? I still didn't understand at all.
"That was... I ran into Orimoto before, and I was consulting her on how to propose. Then she insisted I rehearse it right there..."
"Eh...? Huh?"
Even after he told me, my mind couldn't properly process the story. If that were the truth, then I... I doubted Senpai, whom I had shared so much with, whose feelings I had exchanged, and with whom I had spent so much time.
I...
"I'm sorry. I never thought anyone would see us, and I was careless too. Since that's the situation, please take back your words about wanting to break up."
After bowing his head so low it almost rubbed against the table, Senpai looked at me with serious eyes. His gaze was utterly sincere, undeniably direct. There was no room for doubt in those eyes, and so, Iâ
"â!"
"Iroha!"
So I ran, escaping from in front of Senpai.
â-----
I'm an idiot. A complete idiot.
A truly hopeless, foolish idiotâ
I was running through the muggy, post-rain night city. I only had my leather shoes at the entrance, so I was unavoidably clomping along the asphalt.
"Damn it, where did she go...?"
The back I had seen when I left the apartment was lost after turning a few corners. My throat was hoarse from running aimlessly. I wanted to regret my lack of exercise, but this wasn't the time for that. Because Iroha still hadn't taken back her words about wanting to break up with me. And I hadn't even heard her answer to my proposal.
"Haa... haa... There she is..."
Turning a corner, I saw Iroha's back. Her flaxen hair was wildly disheveled as she ran up a gentle slope.
"Iroha!"
She paused her steps for a moment at my voice, then looked back at me. Then she turned her back again and immediately started running.
"That girl... can she still run...?"
Feeling dejected by the slope in front of me, I put all my effort into my legs. If I didn't catch up here, I would regret it for the rest of my life. That much was clear in my head. When I reached the top of the slope, I saw Iroha entering a park. She probably wanted to lose me, but I had no intention of letting her go.
"Iroha, wait up!"
"Don't come near me!"
Sweat poured down me like a waterfall, sticking to my back. My hair was a mess, and my legs felt like they would tangle at any moment. Summer insects chirped loudly, as if irresponsibly cheering her on.
"Haa, haa...! Iroha..."
When we reached the dead-end observation deck, Iroha was grasping the railing, gasping for breath. Beyond Iroha, who turned around like a ghost, the city of Tokyo glowed dully.
"Why are you running away...? Haa, haa... Listen to me..."
"Haa, haa...! Because...!"
Iroha started to speak, as if to pour out her feelings, but the words wouldn't come out. After coughing, she looked down at the ground and continued.
"I... I couldn't believe you, Senpai...! Even after all that time together, I genuinely doubted you...! I can't even face you..."
"...Iroha."
Calling out softly, I approached Iroha. I walked slowly, as if being careful with a timid small animal, so as not to startle her.
"It's all my fault that you misunderstood. So please, don't blame yourself so much."
"But...!"
Still, Iroha couldn't forgive herself. If she was going to be that stubborn, I was in a bind. Because all I wanted was to elicit a 'yes' from Iroha.
"Then, are you saying we can't be together anymore?"
"..."
I didn't mean to, but my words came out with thorns. Before they could pierce Iroha deeply, I added more words.
"It's entirely my responsibility that I made you misunderstand while you were with me. No matter how much I explain now, the fact that you were hurt won't disappear. If you say you hate it now, then perhaps it can't be helped."
But still, I took Iroha's hand. Her hand, trembling slightly, seemed afraid of everything, and I desperately fought the urge to hug her right away.
"Even so, even after that, I'll say it again. I want to be with Isshiki Iroha, for the rest of my life."
The moment I said that, Iroha looked at me with tear-filled eyes. I tightened my grip on her hand, as if to say I would never let go.
"I can't imagine a future without you by my side anymore. I don't even want to think about such a future."
I was no longer choosing my words. Unlike my usual self, I was just stringing together emotions that welled up from my heart.
"I'll give you all my feelings, so give me all of yours too. It might not make sense, but..."
If I couldn't convey all my feelings now, I probably wouldn't have another chance for the rest of my life. I knew that, and because I absolutely didn't want to let her go, I would use any words to draw the future closerâ
"Take responsibility for making me unable to live without you."
What a terrible way to propose again. Unilaterally imposing, demanding, even twisting past words.
Still, Iâ
"Tell me your feelings, Iroha."
Still, I yearned for Iroha's answer, unable to stop.
"What is that, Senpai...?"
Iroha's voice was tinged with a hint of intense emotion. The hand that squeezed mine back was gripping with painful force.
"I... I want to be with you too! There's no way I can leave you! And what's this about responsibility? You're the one who needs to take responsibility, Senpai! I... I, too..."
Her voice trembled, her heart trembled, as if her very soul was trembling. Before I knew it, I was hugging her. I didn't care if sweat dripped from my temples, or if my back was soaked. Right now, I just wanted to feel her entire presence, feel Iroha's warmth.
"I feel the same way. I want to be with you forever, Senpai..."
I tightened the arms embracing her. I took in Iroha's words with my entire body, letting them spread to every corner of my heart.
I finally said it.
It finally reached her.
What I had desired from the bottom of my heart. What I had once given up on, thinking I would never obtain.
The fact that she was now in my arms felt nothing short of a miracle. This one woman, trembling and stifling her sobs, was so, so dear to meâ
"Ah... I left the ring behind, so I'm sorry I don't have anything."
I loosened my embrace and knelt before Iroha. The glittering Tokyo nightscape still seemed to shimmer, perhaps from the heat. In that space between romance and reality, I looked into Iroha's eyes and said.
"Iroha Isshiki. Please marry me."
Sparkle, Iroha's eyes shone like shooting stars. I heard a small gasp of breath.
And then, she took my hand.
"âYes."
And a single, most beautiful tear in the world fell to the ground.
â---------
How many years had passed since I met her? Inside the chapel, the solemn sound of the pipe organ and the beautiful harmony of the choir resounded.
When the entrance doors opened, a bride stood there, clad in a pure white dress. After exchanging a few words with her mother beside her, the veil was reverently lowered. Every single one of her gestures was sacred and beautiful.
Before my eyes stretched a crimson virgin road. The bride, taking her father's arm, stepped slowly, one step at a time.
Hymns were sung loudly, and scriptures were read. Prayers were offered, vows were made, and rings were exchanged.
During the vow kiss, she seemed a little nervous too. But then again, so was I. I hope this is the first and last time I have to kiss in front of people.
As we walked back down the aisle, our steps were solely ours. Bathed in a flurry of congratulatory petals and words, I looked at the person walking beside me.
Adorned with colorful petals on her veil, my beloved smiled and said:
"You kept your promise, didn't you?"
âAnd.
"Well then, we will inform you once preparations are complete."
The staff member, who was the bride's attendant, bowed gracefully. Stepping out of the chapel where the ceremony was held, I let out a sigh of relief. We had chosen a secular ceremony at Iroha's request, but it was more nerve-wracking and tiring than I had expected.
"Ah, you can't let your guard down yet. The reception is the main event, you know."
"No, don't make the ceremony a supporting role..."
Still, the bride seemed strangely energetic. It was as if her previous exasperation from the busy wedding preparations had been a lie; she was so lively. Iroha stood elegantly, draped in a pure white wedding dress. At this very moment, I wanted to take a million photos and kiss her again, but I decided to restrain myself for now.
"By the way, what did you mean earlier?"
"Huh?"
"You know, when you said I kept my promise."
"Ah..."
Iroha made a thoughtful face, then the next moment, she looked at me as if sizing me up.
"Don't you remember? When we first started dating?"
"First started dating...?"
Even if she said that, it was almost five years ago. I remembered exchanging many words, but I didn't remember every single one.
"Senpai, you said, 'Let's date with marriage in mind.'"
"Eh? Ah...!"
Come to think of it, I did say something like that. Iroha had told me to put my feelings into words, and I had said I loved her enough to want to marry her. I chuckled to myself, thinking how prescient I had been. Though, I hadn't imagined I would fall so deeply in love with Iroha.
"And also,"
Iroha looked straight at the door, then let out a small sigh, relaxing her shoulders. The attendant staff told us, "It'll be soon now." From beyond the door leading to the garden, we could hear the lively voices of guests waiting for the bride.
"The promise we made even further back, please keep it for the rest of your life."
What exactly was that promise, and when was it made? There was only one thing that came to mind, and asking about it would be uncouth.
The staff announced, "The doors will open shortly." Iroha's hand took my arm, and my posture naturally straightened.
"Senpai."
Iroha murmured, still facing forward. And slowly, the doors began to openâ
"Please keep taking responsibility for me, forever and ever."
I used to not understand how to take responsibility at all, but now I do. It means never letting the shining smile beside me cloud over again. It means being by her side, so that she doesn't feel anxious for even a moment.
And in that way, for the rest of my lifeâto make Iroha happy.
With those thoughts for the future.
"Come on, let's go."
I gently squinted my eyes at the light streaming from beyond the doors and the voices of blessingâ
Fin.
============
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