Early morning.
Suguru stood in front of the mirror, wearing a torn Ultraman Zero costume—the crotch area ripped like a war wound.
He stared at his reflection, dead serious.
"It's time," he whispered.
I walked past him, barely awake. "Time for what, Suguru?"
"To train my body and soul in the UltraVerse. In that world... I'm not a loser. I'm a legend."
I paused.
"You're sleep-talking, right?"
He threw a pack of instant noodles at me. It hit the wall and turned into a holographic portal.
"WHAT THE—"
Before I could even react, Suguru jumped straight into the noodle portal.
UltraVerse – Realm of God-Tier Absurdity
Suguru landed on a holographic field shimmering like a TikTok filter.
A sheep spoke to him.
"To become a true Ultraman, you must defeat... yourself."
Suguru: "Which version?"
"The one that never watched Naruto's last episode."
Suguru screamed.
"I ONLY WATCHED UNTIL BORUTO, DAMMIT!!"
The sheep disappeared.
Suddenly, a figure emerged—same Ultraman Zero costume, but with middle-parted hair and a squeaky voice.
His name: Suguru Without Life Purpose.
The battle begins.
Suguru unleashed his signature move:
"Spicy Kick of Longing"
(a kick with level 15 chili aura)
His opponent countered with:
"Total Laziness Strike"
(slow but mentally devastating)
The battle shook the entire dimension.
Mountains turned into potatoes.
The sky morphed into a WhatsApp wallpaper.
Zeus screamed from the real world: "WHO'S MESSING WITH THE MULTIVERSE WITHOUT PERMISSION!?"
Meanwhile, in the real world…
Astak, Rias, and I were trying to shut the noodle portal down.
Rias: "If Suguru doesn't come back, we can finally relax."
Astak: "But if he dies in there... this dimension might explode."
Me: "Why?"
"Because he's still CONNECTED TO THE WIFI MODEM!"
Rias panicked. "SHUT IT DOWN!!"
Back in the UltraVerse.
Suguru was on the ropes.
His failed Ultraman version started humming a TikTok song—slowly, creepily.
Suguru trembled. "No... please..."
But suddenly—
A voice echoed in his heart:
"You're not just any Suguru."
"You're the Suguru who rises after every joke. Who stands tall even when sandals fly at your head. Who keeps living... even when life keeps calling you a clown."
Suguru looked up. Tears streamed down.
Then he stood—with power awakened.
Final move:
UltraZero Laugh Combo MAX
(A burst of laughter while revving up an imaginary bike—followed by a kick to reality)
Boom.
His opponent exploded into MSG powder.
UltraVerse trembled.
Suguru flew out of the noodle portal—crashed onto our apartment floor, drooling.
Rias muttered one thing:
"I... don't wanna live like this anymore."
Me: "But this is just the beginning."
Zeus from the kitchen: "You forgot to pay the electricity bill."
Astak: "I saw the future... we're living on Mars in a rented apartment."
And Suguru?
He just snored, hugging his Ultraman pillow.
To Be Continued…