A/N:
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A few hours passed as we dug through the files, memorizing every scrap of information about Riser's peerage.
But one thing kept nagging at me.
Finally, I leaned back and asked.
"By the way, what kind of family is this Phenex? I don't remember them being part of the 72 pillars. Are they a lower-ranked house or something? While we're at it, where exactly does Gremory stand? No offense, Rias, but I only remember the really famous ones—or, you know, personal favorites."
…Personal favorites mostly from Overgeared, but they didn't need to know that part.
I added, "I do know Sitri's somewhere around the 11–15 mark."
Rias gave me a steady look, her tone calm as always.
"No offense taken, Zevion. The Phenex clan is Marquis rank, at thirty-seven. My Gremory clan is Duke rank, at fifty-six. And the Sitri family—Sona's house—is Prince rank, at twelve."
I whistled softly.
"So pretty high up, Sona."
Sona, who'd been flipping through a thick binder of papers, stepped forward.
"If we were fighting any other high-ranking devil, this research might have been enough. A lot of work has gone into analyzing Riser's peerage."
I blinked at her.
"Huh? Then what's the problem?"
Her sharp eyes lifted to mine.
"The problem is Riser himself—or more precisely, that he's a Phoenix."
She placed another book on the table, opening it to a full-page illustration of a great firebird, wings stretched wide, flames crackling across its feathers.
"Long ago, humans worshipped the phoenix as a creature tied to life and rebirth. Even now, myths remain in circulation. Its tears are said to heal any wound. Its blood, if consumed, can supposedly grant immortality."
I squinted at the picture, then looked back at her.
"So… what? The Phenex clan is just devils who chugged phoenix blood?"
Sona gave the faintest shrug.
"No one knows for sure. The Phenex themselves claim descent from the mythical phoenix. Whatever the truth, their regenerative ability is no myth. Their immortality is the real danger."
I leaned back, crossing my arms.
For a moment, I thought carefully.
Then, I smirked.
"Alright then, leave him to me. I've got a way around that."
Rias's eyes narrowed slightly.
"What kind of method?"
I leaned forward, letting a sharp grin spread across my face.
"…That's a secret. But don't worry. I'm a hundred percent sure it'll work."
I turned my eyes toward Asia.
"Asia, I've got a job for you. Can you make sixteen holy crosses by tomorrow?"
Her eyes widened, but then she clenched her fists with determination.
"I'll do my best to help everyone!"
I gave her an approving nod before shifting to Koneko.
"Koneko, go with her. Help her gather materials, whatever she needs. But be careful—you're a devil, remember."
Koneko gave a curt nod, and the two of them quietly left the room.
Next, I turned to Kiba.
"Kiba, you…" I waved a hand vaguely. "Go get victory celebration supplies."
Before he could even react, I had already brushed past him and hurried straight to Akeno.
"And you, Akeno—make us some tea. Oh, and for me? Coffee. Make it quick."
Akeno covered her lips with her hand, amusement flickering in her eyes.
Kiba, on the other hand, looked like he was still processing whether I was being serious.
As soon as they dispersed, I dropped onto the sofa, pulled out my phone, and booted up Subway Surfers.
The room fell silent.
When I looked up, Rias, Sona, and her peerage were all staring at me like I'd lost my mind.
Suddenly, the door burst open. A blond guy strode in with a few girls trailing behind him.
"President Sona, we're done setting up the equipment!!" he announced proudly.
Then his gaze landed on me. His face went pale, eyes widening in shock.
"Zevion? Is… is that you?!"
I blinked.
???
He stiffened, clearly offended by my blank look.
"Hey! Don't tell me you forgot me! We were in middle school together! I was a year above you! How could you not remember?!"
…Honestly, there were way too many "seniors" back then.
But wait.
That face… that tone… oh!
Memory unlocked.
"You're—! That guy! Genji Sajirou!! The Fearless Pooper!!"
"NOOOOOOO!!! DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!!!"
He clutched his head, crouching on the floor like a child, while everyone else in the room stared in total confusion.
I shrugged.
"In middle school, he was one of the guys who tried to bully me."
Everyone's eyes snapped to him with disgust.
"Hey!! Don't just say it like that!" he wailed, waving his arms.
"It was a dare! A dare from the others, okay?! And my name is Saji Genshirou! Not—Genji Sajirou!!"
He really thought his name mattered more than his title? Please.
"Sure, whatever. But I'll never forget your true title: The Fearless Pooper."
He shrieked, burying his head in his arms like the words physically hurt him.
Yep. Still traumatized.
Sona sighed and adjusted her glasses, then flicked her fingers.
Her peerage girls quickly restrained him, gagging his protests with a cloth.
"Zevion, what exactly happened between you two? He's my new pawn, so I want to know what kind of person I'm dealing with."
I leaned back, ignoring Saji's desperate glare, his muffled "mmph mmph" begging me not to spill.
"Well," I began, "middle school had its share of bullies. Some tried to make me their punching bag, but I dealt with them—without violence, of course."
I paused, smirking at the memory.
"This guy came to 'test me.' For three days, I played along as his errand boy. By the fourth day, he thought he owned me. At lunch, he demanded I get him some juice."
I took a slow sip of the coffee Akeno had just set down, savoring the moment.
"So I spiked it with laxatives. For his health, you understand."
Everyone leaned in.
"I made sure to deliver it right before the lunch period ended. He yelled at me for being late while downing it. Five minutes later? He bolted out of the classroom. I didn't see the fallout myself, but the rumors spread fast: during lecture, he… lost control. Right there in class. That was the day he became a legend: The Fearless Pooper. He vanished for months after."
I chuckled, shaking my head.
"And now here he is, alive and well. Some legends really do rise from the ashes."
Everyone in the room burst out laughing, some pounding the table, others wiping tears from their eyes.
Poor Saji couldn't handle it—he'd already passed out from sheer humiliation.
I leaned back on the sofa, watching the chaos with a calm sip of my coffee.
Well… there were plenty like him back in the day.
Bullies, idiots, wannabe tough guys.
And that was before I even had my system.
Too bad kids that age are stupid.
Honestly, they're easy.
I had one thing they didn't: the experience of an adult.
A perk of reincarnation.
And tell me—how could a so-called "scary" brat ever hope to bully an adult who knows the game? Impossible.
I just gave them a little preview of how the adult world really works.
Dirty tricks, mind games, a taste of humiliation they weren't prepared for.
Violence? Never needed it.
Trauma was way more effective.
By the time I was done with them, every bully who came after me learned one thing: never underestimate someone who plays smarter, not harder.
Do I think they'll think twice before bullying anyone else? No.
A hundred times more? Not enough.
A thousand? Still not enough.
But that's the moral, isn't it?
Kids, never fear bullies. Don't wait for teachers to swoop in like superheroes. Play it smart. Twist the situation. Outsmart them. In the end, they're easier to deal with than you think—if you play your cards right.
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Patreon link: patreon.com/zevionasgorath