A/N: Hey everyone! I really want to keep improving my writing, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Honest feedback helps me a lot, so don't hold back.
Here are some guiding questions, but you can also add anything else you notice:
1. Do you notice any awkward sentence structure or typos I might've missed?
2. Are the characters engaging enough to make you want to keep reading?
3. Were the action or romance scenes clear in your imagination, or did they feel confusing at times?
4. Did any parts of the chapter feel slow, dragged out, or boring? If so, which ones?
5. Do I rely too much on narration/exposition? Are there parts that could be trimmed or tightened?
6. Do you think I should introduce more characters, or focus on developing the ones I already have?
7. Would certain scenes benefit more from extra description or from more dialogue? (You can mention specific moments if you like.)
8. How do you feel about the main character? I like the way I've written him, so I won't do a big overhaul, but I'm open to suggestions for small improvements.
9. Does the dialogue feel natural and entertaining, or does it need more punch?
10. Does the story feel predictable at any point? Are there moments that seem too cliché or repetitive?
11. Are the stakes and tension strong enough to keep you invested, or do they feel weak in some parts?
12. Did you ever feel lost or confused about what was happening in the plot or with the characters' motivations?
13. Do you feel like the pacing is consistent — or do some parts rush while others drag too much?
14. Compared to the earlier chapters, does this one feel just as fresh and exciting, or weaker in some way?
Thanks a lot for reading and for helping me grow as a writer!
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I stepped onto the grounds before the new school building.
The place reeked of preparation—pitfalls, concealed explosives of demonic energy, and magic circles embedded into the tiles.
Riser had gone all out, like a cornered rat frantically lining its nest with broken glass.
Now, the real question: how should I handle this?
Do I walk through it all, letting every trap shatter against me to show absolute defense?Or do I tear everything down at once, to show absolute strength?
…They're devils.
The language they understand best is violence.
I raised my left foot and slammed it down.
The ground convulsed as though the earth itself was screaming.
The shockwave tore through the foundations, causing the building to groan before collapsing like a house of cards.
In the space of a breath, the new school building was nothing more than rubble and choking dust.
Honestly?
It felt great.
Cathartic, even.
Watching that smug school building that makes students like us suffer, crumble in a single stomp… Ah, what a release.
Chunks of debris lifted into the air, hurled toward me.
Before they even touched my aura, the stones crumbled to dust, scattering uselessly.
And there he was.
Riser Phenex stood among the ruins, his chest heaving, breaths shallow and ragged.
His skin was already scraping off like he was in a place with a lot of radiation.
Already drained, already pushed beyond comfort by the holy field gnawing at him since the start.
But his eyes… his eyes were still burning with that insufferable arrogance.
No, worse—it wasn't confidence anymore.
It was desperation wearing the mask of arrogance.
The classic look of a spoiled brat who couldn't fathom losing.
"There's no way I'll lose to a puny human!" his gaze screamed, louder than his voice.
Riser clenched his fists and roared, flames erupting around him, licking at the air.
The fire swelled, wrapping him in an inferno, searing away his wounds and knitting flesh back together.
The air warped from the heat, his body glowing with rebirth.
The true "immortality" of the Phenex Clan, flaunted in front of me.
Riser slammed his heel against the ground, cracks spiderwebbing outward as he launched himself forward.
His body moved with reckless abandon, every ounce of strength forced into that desperate charge.
Behind him, flames burst into towering wings, the heat so intense the air shimmered as if reality itself was bending under the pressure.
For a heartbeat, he looked like a warrior out of legend—proud, unstoppable.
But the illusion shattered the moment he coughed, crimson splattering from his lips and evaporating in the flames.
His lungs rattled, his chest heaved, and his eyes were bloodshot, the arrogance in them now stained with raw desperation.
"There is no way I would lose to a mere, lowly human!!!"
His scream tore through the battlefield, not just words but a desperate declaration of his existence.
His pride, his bloodline, his entire worldview condensed into one sentence.
He wasn't fighting just to win.
He was fighting to prove that he was right, that devils were superior, that his life of arrogance had meaning.
His fist ignited, the flames spiraling around it like a miniature sun.
The sheer intensity burned away the dust and rubble between us, the heat suffocating, the oxygen itself trembling.
When he finally reached me, his flaming fist crashed into my face with the force of everything he had left.
The world exploded.
The detonation roared louder than thunder, a wall of flames erupting outward, devouring the earth.
The battlefield was consumed in a storm of fire, stone melting, shadows erased, the air choking with ash.
The sheer heat blistered the ground into molten rivers, each ripple of fire tearing apart what little structure remained.
Riser staggered back, coughing violently as the backlash hit him.
His knees buckled, his body barely holding together.
He had poured his soul into that strike, ripping open every last reserve of his power.
His skin was pale, drenched in sweat, his body trembling with exhaustion.
And yet… he smiled.
A broken, arrogant smile.
Relief flooded his face as he collapsed onto the ground, his chest rising and falling in shallow gasps.
His bloodshot eyes glimmered with satisfaction.
He saw the flames swallowing me whole, wrapping my figure in that blazing inferno, and for a moment, he believed.
He believed his fire had triumphed.
That the devil's flame had burned away the human challenger.
But belief doesn't change reality.
The fire began to die down, the smoke thinning, the glow fading.
And what was revealed beneath it—wasn't the sight he wanted.
It was me.
Untouched.
I stood exactly where I had been, the same calm expression on my face, not even a speck of ash clinging to my clothes.
My skin unburned, my outfit unscorched.
The flames hadn't even singed me.
I hadn't defended.
I hadn't blocked.
I hadn't even twitched.
Because there was no need.
This was Giratina's natural defense—the distortion aura that warped reality itself.
Fire, heat, destruction—none of it mattered.
Against me, his flames were nothing but sparks dying in the wind.
Riser's relief shattered.
His arrogant smile froze, then cracked into horror.
His eyes widened, bloodshot veins pulsing, his breath caught in his throat.
Before he could even scream—
The ground erupted.
Dark spikes surged upward like fangs from the abyss, stabbing clean through his limbs.
One pierced his thigh, another his knee, another his shoulder, another his arm, pinning him to the ruined earth with brutal finality.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—!"
His scream was deafening, raw agony ripping from his throat.
His body writhed, but the more he struggled, the deeper the spikes dug, tearing muscle, grinding against bone.
Blood poured down the obsidian spears, sizzling as it hit the still-glowing rubble.
He thrashed, his once-proud flames sputtering into nothing more than dying embers.
The wings of fire crumbled, fading into smoke.
His arrogance, his confidence, his pride—it all disintegrated in that moment of pure pain.
I didn't move.
I didn't need to.
I simply stood there, untouched in the aftermath of his so-called ultimate attack, watching him break.
And that was enough.
Now it was my turn.
I steadied my breath, my body humming with the overwhelming resonance of Giratina's power.
The battlefield trembled as I lifted my hand, shadows writhing eagerly at my command.
And then I saw it—his mask breaking.
Riser's flames sputtered weakly, his body twitching against the spikes pinning him down.
His once-arrogant eyes were wide, wild with fear.
His lips quivered before words finally spilled out, cracking and uneven.
"H-hold on! D-don't you get it?!" he stammered, his voice trembling, his pride bleeding into desperation.
"This engagement—this marriage—it's for the future of all demonkind! Can't you see?! We need this! Without it, everything falls apart!"
For a heartbeat… I actually froze.
Not because his words had power.
But because of how pathetic they sounded.
The same man who strutted into this fight boasting about his supremacy, about how a "mere human" couldn't touch him, was now pleading for the weight of his bloodline, his title, his society to save him.
And then—something in me snapped.
A manic grin split across my face as a laugh clawed its way up from my chest.
At first, it was just a chuckle, sharp and broken.
Then louder.
Then uncontrollable.
Until it spilled out of me in a storm of madness.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—!!!"
The sound echoed across the ruined battlefield, bouncing off the shattered stone and molten earth.
It wasn't just laughter.
It was scorn made sound.
It was the universe itself mocking him through my voice.
Riser flinched at the sound, his body tensing, his pride shattering further with each echo of my manic laughter.
Time Remaining Till The Fusion Gets Undone: 17 seconds
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