Five
Extract: Chiefs and the Rest, Act 3 scene 1 & 2 (unpublished)
Seme - crown Prince
Khumo/Mr. Fox - Seme's younger brother, pimp, Mafia boss
Maatla - Seme and Khumo's younger sister, college student,
Prince Shadrack - Crown Prince of Francistown, Crown Prince Seme's friend
Nanette/Anita - Seme's chambermaid with a hidden face and secret identity
ACT 3 SCENE 1
01:42 PM.
In the conference room…
Lekau-Kgobo: … And it must be a pure untouched virgin. This will ensure that you do not absorb any other soul ties she may have 'acquired' elsewhere. If the throne is to develop problems, they better be from you and new! (Pauses. Eyes Seme. Follows his line of sight) Young lady?
Nanette: Ma?
Lekau-Kgobo: (Curiously) Who are you?
Nanette: (Glances at Maatla who winks at her. Takes a breath. Whispers) I'm Anita.
Lekau-Kgobo: (Squints) Who?
Nanette: (A tad louder) Anita.
Lekau-Kgobo: (Narrows her eyes) Goodness, what are you saying, girlie?
Nanette shrinks into her shoulders as her face flushes, matching the blood-orange dress she is in, that exposes her feminine shoulders and collarbones. (Another generous courtesy of Princess Maatla). The whole table shifts to Nanette as she grills at the awkward attention.
Mma Bothe: (In the background) Who is she, and what is her face doing?
Rra Tholo: (Ironically) She looks like a tomato.
Maatla: (Peevishly stands up and huffs) Ladies and gentlemen of the court, this is my friend Anita. She is very shy, an insane introvert, so please, you're all making her uncomfortable with these unnecessary questions.
Mma Modirwa: (Scoffs loudly) Uncomfortable? What business has she in the conference room?
Nanette melts into her seat but feels better when Maatla puts a protective arm around her shoulder.
Maatla: She is here as my emotional anchor, of course.
Rra Tholo: (Squints) Really? She looks in need of an emotional anchor.
Maatla: I don't expect any of you to understand, because most of you are old and have been grizzled by life you barely have any emotions left. (Eyes Rra Tholo) Anita is my guest and will stay until brother Seme gets a wife. So there! (Sits down)
Lekau-Kgobo: (Smiles) Interesting. (Bows at Nanette) Nice to meet you, young lady. I didn't mean to perturb you. I merely couldn't hear you well. (Chuckles softly) These old ears of mine. You're so lovely! How old are you?
Nanette: Nineteen.
Lekau-Kgobo: (Grins) Oh! Are you going to audition for the bridals?
Seme comes to life. Nanette blenches in shock while Maatla ruptures into this hysterical laugh not suited for a princess.
Maatla: (Pitch rising) Grandma! What are you saying? Anita is only my guest… oh – plus she has a boyfriend! (Nods quickly)
Nanette winces at the sudden look of horror on Seme's face.
Lekau-Kgobo: Well, I should have guessed such a beautiful young woman would already be taken. (Rolls her eyes) Our search for the potential wife would have ended right here and now. Oh well.
Nanette blushes. A potential wife? Heavens open!
Seme sinks into his seat with a beatdown look. Already taken? Hell on Earth!
Maatla: (Nods and shakes her head) Yeah. That would have been… appropriate.
Lekau-Kgobo: (Nods. Turns to Seme) Are you feeling well, Crown Prince?
Seme: (Shifts on his seat) … Why do you ask?
Maatla: (With a toothy smile) You're looking a little pale over there. You could use some water.
No. What he can use is a one-on-one conversation with this Anita girl. Ask her lots of questions; why is she so mousey? Why is she so delicate? Why is she freakishly beautiful? What is her phone number? What is her last name? Why does he feel suddenly the urge to rip off his top and barrel across the room like a crazy chimp? Why is his throat blocking? Why can't he stop staring at her?!
On any day, he would not even lay an eye on her. Women terrify him, to be honest. But Anita! What is it about her (besides her obvious beauty) that keeps him boring his eyes at her? Is this what love, at first sight, feels like? Well, it is a strange feeling.
Seme: (Swallows hard. Turns to his grandmother) Where is my little brother?
RraTholo: (Fiercely) It does not matter where that boy is. What matters most is that your grandmother should have told you – before any agitations – that you would be welcoming to the palace the royals from three different chiefdoms today.
Seme: (Returns his eyes to Nanette) Huh?
RraTholo: (Proudly) These families are from Serowe, Mahalapye, and Francistown. As you know, these three Chiefdoms have had a strong bond with Palapye for the past decades, it seemed logical to make them the VIPs of your bridal choosing ceremony.
Seme: (Face falls) Oh…
This means he will spend the entire day running around after other stuck-up bluebloods instead of satiating his curiosity about the lady in red. Blasted hell!
SCENE 2
9:35 PM.
It is a full house in the ballroom. The three royal families from the three towns have been around for some time and they are working Seme's last nerve by keeping him hostage with questions. Silly questions about tapestries and furniture. He sees his sister and Nanette/Anita fraternizing with the other people in the room.
Seme: (In his head) That dress comes to life when she moves! How can I ditch these posers and go to her?
PrinceShadrack: (Holds up a vase) From which period is this?
Seme: (Still looking at Nanette) It's from the 'Don't Touch My Dead Mother's Stuff or You'll Get Cursed' Period.
PrinceShadrack: Oh… (Places the vase back on the table) My mistake. Hey, can I ask you a question?
Seme: That's what you've been doing, Shadrack.
PrinceShadrack: (Lowers his voice) Who is that elegant beauty you keep stretching your neck out for?
Seme: (Swerves wide-eyed at him) What?!
PrinceShadrack: (Cheekily) Is she your future wife?
Seme: (Puffs up) Why in tarnation would you ask that?
PrinceShadrack: (Pouts sardonically) Yeah, you're right. She is way out of your league.
Seme gives the prince of Francistown a sarcastic look. How mature.
PrinceShadrack: (Wraps his arm over Seme's shoulder) Look, don't act like you're having fun in this dreary ascorbate, and don't think I don't know everything I say irritates you. I may not be your best, best friend but I know that look. You can't expect that girl to notice you if you just stand here like a pervert and stare.
Seme: (Panicking) What makes you think I'm interested in her?
PrinceShadrack: Seriously? King Bata is drooling over her, and he's got two wives already! That dumb ogle isn't going to erase itself off your face.
Seme: Hey!
PrinceShadrack: You can't attract her standing here talking to me! Move your legs one after the other and go talk to her. It's that simple.
Seme: (Chuckles nervously) You got the wrong idea, Shadrack Batumi. I barely know this woman. We met four days ago.
PrinceShadrack: So, you've already come close and personal? Tell me how you first met, Sir Seme.
Seme: (Blushes) I found her in my bathroom.
PrinceShadrack: Oh?
Seme: (Bites his thumb) She was in my bathtub.
PrinceShadrack: (Smirks) Oh. Did you have a look-see?
Seme: (Exclaims) Did I have a – she blinded me with soapy water and smashed the door in my face!
PrinceShadrack: (Snorts) Wow! It is a classic love story beginning. I can see it now… (Slowly waves his open hands across the air as if painting a literal mental picture) ... You are walking over there, a glass of champagne in your left hand. She sees you coming and pretends to look elsewhere. You come over and say "Lovely evening, wouldn't you say? That dress of yours is stunning. But, without you in it, it would look nothing less than a handkerchief. Can we just let the awkwardness of how we first met dissolve in your splendor while we take a walk to the balcony? It feels a bit stuffy in here with all these other people around." Then you extend your right hand to her, which she graciously accepts with a coy smile. The rest will be up to destiny and soon enough, you'll be getting married, ride off into the sunset, and build yourselves a nice cottage somewhere in Kasane. (Grins at Seme)
Seme: (Frowns) Everything you just said makes me mad. (Crosses his arms with a bitter look)
PrinceShadrack: But you get what I'm saying, right?
Seme: (Groans) Yeah.
PrinceShadrack: (Gleefully) So go talk to said lady!
Nothing is as guileless as the aristocratic prince portrays it, for at exactly this moment (as if summoned from the bowels of hell) Prince Lekau-Khumo bursts into the room in a grey tuxedo followed by his bodyguard Charlie who looks about ready to maim someone.
Khumo: (Robustly) The life of the party is HERE!
Everyone swerves to him and watches curiously as he saunters gracefully across the floor with a pompous smirk on his lips.
Seme: (Wipes a hand down his face and forces a smile) I was wondering why the wine tasted so stale.
Khumo: (Scoffs) You know very well I'm the tastemaker in our family… (Snatches a glass of champagne as a waiter slowly passes by) Fret not, brother! I shall always be here to save your ass when you're about to tarnish the family name… (Eyes Prince Shadrack from the shoe upwards and sneers) Shadrack. You're here.
PrinceShadrack: Yes, and it's always a pleasure crossing paths with you, Prince Lekau-Khumo.
Khumo: (Walking off) Right… (Brings his eyes up only to spot Nanette. He halts. The champagne glass slips out of his hand and smashes to smithereens on the floor) What… In the hay-sign money laundering buds... am I seeing?! (Blinks) Is that an angel?
From the distance, Nanette blushes next to King Bata whom Princess Maatla tries to keep from her.
A waitress passes by. Khumo stops her and takes a champagne glass from her tray.
Khumo: (Eyes focused) Who's the girl in red with the King and Princess?
Waitress: That is Lady Anita, Your Highness. She is the Princess' guest to Prince Seme's Bridal choosing ceremony.
Khumo: (Spray-spits out the champagne in shock) Say what?!
Waitress: (Shrugs) Eh! But she is not going to participate in the Bridal Auditions. She is as shy as a lamb.
Khumo: (Swerves wide-eyed at the waitress) Is she now?
The woman nods before she leaves after Khumo walks away from her to the 'lady'. Maatla keeps King Bata distracted by asking him a lot of questions.
Maatla: What is always coming but is never here?
Khumo: (Exclaims) Tomorrow!
The trio turns to him.
Khumo: (Beams) Dear sister, there you are! (Forcefully hugs her. Turns to Bata) Your majestic Majesty! (Grabs his hand and vigorously shakes it) How have you been? How are the wives?
Nanette: (In her head) Wives?
KingBata: You're always the lively one, Lekau-Khumo.
Khumo: (Grins) Ah, you know me. (Shifts his attention to Nanette) And who is this... bewitching beauty? (Takes her hand in his large one and plants a slow sensual kiss on it with his eyes focused into hers)
Nanette: (Turns crimson) Anita, Sir.
Khumo: (Heart skips a beat to her voice) Ah… Anita Sir? Well nice to meet you, Anita Sir.
Nanette: (Trembles) Em... (Tries to take her hand back)
Maatla: (Spitefully) She's addressing you as 'sir', sir!
Khumo: I know that, thank you. (Smiles at Nanette) Welcome to our little corner of the world. I hope you're having a splendid time. I say, that dress makes your eyes pop out.
Nanette blinks.
Maatla: Hey, dial it down, Prince Charming. Too much.
Khumo: (Bitterly) For a beauty like her, too much is too little.
Flirtatious much?
Across the ballroom… Seme turns from Shadrack only to meet with the sight of Khumo romancing Nanette's hand. The champagne glass freely falls to the floor.
PrinceShadrack: Your Highness? (Follows Seme's petrified gaze) Oh… (Turns back to him) Do you think you shoulda followed my advice?
Seme: (Swallows the bitter taste in his mouth) I'm thinking my chambermaid should have given me more cologne.
Prince Shadrack: (Chortles) HA! Your heart is on fire, brother from another mother!