We had just returned from town with provisions when a blast of glittering magic exploded in front of our estate gate. A man emerged from the blinding shimmer—tall, smug, and dressed in layered blue and silver robes adorned with arcane symbols. His pale blond hair swept over one eye, and a ridiculous feathered hat sat crooked on his head.
"I've finally found you," he said with venomous flair. "The pitiful worm who stole the affections of my darling spirit companion."
I blinked. "What?"
"Don't play dumb, you brat!" he shouted, pointing dramatically. "Ever since that last expedition to the Floating Ruins, you seduced my dear Farella! She defected, joined your side, and now sings your praises like a simpering schoolgirl!"
"…Farella was a talking wind sprite shaped like a butterfly," I muttered.
"That's beside the point!" he screeched. "You shall pay for this insult with your pride! I challenge you and your overgrown harem to a duel of magic! In my arena!"
Before I could respond, the girls appeared behind me.
"Who's this clown?" Ziz asked, arms crossed.
"An illusion mage," Bahamut said, eyeing him. "And judging by that outfit, not a very secure one."
"You're all just jealous," the man growled, snapping his fingers. "Let the Mirror Maze commence!"
The ground beneath us glowed. Suddenly, the sky warped. Colors bent and shattered, and the next thing I knew, I was standing in a vast mirrored chamber, its walls reaching endlessly in all directions. The girls were gone.
Or… maybe not?
I turned and saw Leviathan, standing close, looking scared.
"Master… are you okay?" she asked, stepping closer.
But something was off.
Her eyes didn't shine the same way. Her movements were… too deliberate.
"Nice try," I muttered.
I flicked my fingers and summoned a pulse of wind magic. The fake Leviathan exploded into smoke.
I was alone again.
"Welcome," the illusion mage's voice echoed, "to your trial of truth. Only those who know their companions truly may survive. One wrong touch could mean doom!"
I groaned. "He's monologuing again."
I pressed forward through the mirrored halls, carefully watching for magical fluctuations. Every now and then, I heard echoes—Bahamut's voice casting a spell, Behemoth's footsteps, Chimera's giggling. But every time I turned a corner, I was faced with copies. Illusions of the girls—some subtle, some grotesque, all meant to fool me.
I dispelled one Leviathan only to find another waiting behind her, whispering sweet nothings with a dagger behind her back. A false Chimera leapt from above, licking my ear before vanishing into butterflies. Ziz's fake clone tried to pin me to the wall and grind against me before I kicked her in the shin—causing her to explode in a burst of glitter.
"This guy's got problems," I muttered, moving deeper.
The halls warped again, and suddenly, I was standing in a vast circular chamber of black glass. Floating mirrors hung mid-air, each showing scenes of my worst memories—being mocked as a kid, scolded by masters, left alone. I grit my teeth and pressed forward.
That's when I saw her.
Saphielle.
She stood across the chamber in her usual white and black gown, her silver-lavender hair flowing gently in the magical breeze. Her hat was gone, and she held out a hand. "You made it," she said, smiling gently.
"…Saphielle?"
"Yes," she cooed. "You look tense. You've been working so hard… Don't you want to rest?" She slowly began untying the ribbon at her chest. "Let your master reward you…"
My heart pounded. But something was off. The magic in the air felt… unstable. I narrowed my eyes and held my breath.
"Saphielle?" I asked again.
"Yes, cutie?" she purred.
"…What spell did you use to heal me after the Behemoth fight?"
She blinked, then smiled wider. "Does it matter?"
I raised my hand and blasted her with a wind barrier. The fake Saphielle screamed and vanished in a swirl of smoke.
"Disgusting," came the real Saphielle's voice from behind me.
I turned around to see her storming forward, eyes glowing with fury, arcane power crackling at her fingertips.
"Saphielle—wait!"
"That worm made an illusion of me, stripped me down, and tried to seduce you?" Her voice was low, seething. "He's dead. He's so dead."
She raised her hand—and a magic circle opened in the sky above us, pulsing with catastrophic power. The air trembled. The walls cracked.
"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" I ran to her, leapt forward, and hugged her mid-cast.
She froze.
I looked up at her, arms around her waist. "You'll blow up the entire kingdom if you cast that!"
"I'm aware," she said coldly. "That's the point."
"You can't! You'll hurt innocent people!"
She growled. "I won't let anyone impersonate me to try and get into your pants, cutie."
"Saphielle, please," I whispered.
Her glare softened—but then she flinched.
"…Your hands."
"Huh?"
"…Your hands are on my butt."
I looked down.
Sure enough, both of my hands were gripping her shapely, soft rear—palms deep into her curves, fingers unconsciously squeezing.
"Ahh—sorry! I didn't mean—!"
I tried to pull away, but my hands wouldn't move. I was frozen. My body was paralyzed with embarrassment.
"I can't—I can't get them off!"
Saphielle stared down at me. Slowly, a smile crept across her lips.
"You really are hopeless," she said with a sigh.
"I didn't mean to—!"
"I didn't say I minded," she said softly, leaning in. Her lips brushed my ear. "Next time, ask first."
I nearly fainted.
The magic circle dissipated. The illusion maze shattered. The arena around us broke away into a thousand shards of light, and we found ourselves standing at the front of the estate again—where the illusion mage sat groaning in the dirt.
"My… pride…"
Ziz walked up and kicked him in the ribs. "You picked the wrong harem to mess with."
Chimera giggled and patted my head. "Did you get handsy with Master-Sensei again, Saphielle?"
"She was the one seducing me!" I blurted.
"Ohhh, is that what we're calling it?" Bahamut smiled slyly.
"I didn't mean to grab her butt!"
Behemoth crossed her arms. "But you didn't let go either."
"I was paralyzed with shame!"
Leviathan shyly tugged my sleeve. "U-Um… if you're… still feeling handsy, I don't mind if you… try mine too…"
I screamed.
This was my life now.