A few hours had passed since they turned Salem (yes, that arrogant, edgelord nutjob who screamed "main character syndrome" every time he opened his mouth... definitely not Nero.) into a tragic pancake of regret and crushed dreams.
Currently? Sweet, sweet peace.
Glorious, beautiful peace.
They were chilling inside a FamilyMart.
A rare treasure in the middle of the apocalypse.
Fully stocked. Completely untouched. Still had working air conditioning somehow.
Thank you, plot convenience.
Currently housing our two unlikely heroes: one jobless degenerate and one divine angel.
It was like the world's weirdest buddy comedy waiting to happen.
"Hm..."
Nero sat with his back resting against a shelf of packaged ramen, staring at the blinking blue hologram floating in front of him like the world's most advanced video game menu.
---
Name: Nero Walker (Jobless Degenerate)
Race: Human
Level: 6 → 10
Stats:
STR: 1.2/10 → 1.3/10
DEX: 1/10 → 1.05/10
INT: 1.2/10 → 1.25/10
VIT: 1.3/10
LUCK: 1.005/10
CHA: 0.8/10 (oof.)
Active Skills:
– [Empty]
Passive Skills:
– [Empty]
Unique Abilities:
– [Waifu Summoner (SSR)]
– [Copycat (A) (Flawed)]
---
He whistled like he'd just won the lottery.
"Shared EXP is absolutely broken... I just sat there being useless half the time, and now look at this beauty—level 10, baby!"
He tapped the [Copycat (A) (Flawed)] ability like he was poking a sleeping dragon.
[Copycat (A) (Flawed) – A one-time use ability that allows the user to copy a single skill or unique ability below SR-tier. Once used, the ability shatters and is permanently removed. Warning: Copy cannot be undone.]
He blinked.
Then blinked again like his brain needed to restart.
"...This thing is absolutely terrifying."
He rubbed his chin like some fake philosopher.
"If that psycho had this ability and still died, I don't know whether to feel proud or scared shitless..."
His eyes narrowed with genuine concern.
"...But damn, if he hadn't died and kept leveling up with stolen abilities..."
He didn't finish that nightmare scenario. Not because of dramatic foreshadowing, but because the front door slid open with the most cheerful chime sound.
*Ding!*
Aurelia walked in like she owned the place.
Two plastic bags in each hand. One smelling absolutely mouthwatering. The other probably packed with sugar bombs.
If Nero's stomach could give a standing ovation, it would.
"Angel-sama, did you rob the entire store?"
"I have successfully acquired necessary resources from this 'convenience establishment' you mentioned."
"'Acquired'? Pretty sure it's called breaking and entering when you bust down the door with a divine sword."
The reason this convenience store looked completely untouched was because it had been totally locked up.
It was still the middle of the night, and the doors were chained shut tight.
So what did they do to get in?
"..."
Nero vividly remembered watching the Valkyrie slice the entire door into perfect geometric cubes...
Yeah, not just the locks or chains, but the whole damn door turned into dice.
"...The door opened by itself when I approached."
Well, at least she knew it was technically trespassing and destruction of property.
Aurelia avoided his questioning gaze with the same stone-faced expression, as if to say, "It's not a crime if nobody saw it happen."
"...Fair enough."
Nero couldn't help but chuckle.
***
Aurelia sat down beside him with perfect posture.
She carefully placed the bags down, then stared at them like she was trying to solve a complex puzzle.
She'd been ordered to search for these specific items... but what exactly were they supposed to be?
Nero grinned at her genuinely confused expression.
"Time for me to teach you the sacred wonders of degenerate cuisine."
First lesson: The classic cheeseburger.
He unwrapped the sandwich, offering one of the two to his curious divine warrior.
"Use your hands. Yes, those things attached to your arms. No fork required. No glowing sword needed. Just hands."
Aurelia examined it with the same intensity she'd used to analyze battle formations.
But she followed his instruction like the obedient summon she was.
Then, she took her first bite.
And then,
"!!!"
Her golden pupils trembled slightly like her entire world had just exploded.
A long pause.
Then...
"...Mmmghh...!"
The most adorable sound of pure divine bliss.
Nero even wondered if she came from just that.
Aurelia bit her lower lip, desperately trying to keep her serious warrior expression from completely crumbling.
But honestly, it just made her look even cuter.
She clutched her chest like she'd been struck by lightning.
"W-What... What is this divine ambrosia...?"
"That's a two-dollar cheeseburger."
"I... I must serve this to my celestial comrades immediately. Surely this must be priceless treasure, Lord Nero. You may have mine–"
"Chill out, it's really not as precious as you think."
Nero gestured for her to calm down before she started a religious movement.
He thought to himself with a bit of guilt,
'I feel like I'm corrupting an innocent goddess with the modern cuisine of obesity and heart disease.'
"I... I understand..."
Aurelia, who had been about to sacrifice her burger like some holy offering, slowly sat back down.
"...Mhhm."
Watching this absolutely gorgeous angel slowly munch on a two-dollar cheeseburger like it was a five-star Michelin masterpiece, Nero felt like he was witnessing the most adorable and hilarious scene of his entire life.
He started chuckling, finding the whole situation ridiculously entertaining.
His voice echoed awkwardly through the empty store.
She was exactly like a sheltered child experiencing the modern world for the first time.
'Well, she is from some other dimension after all.'
Nero thought with amusement.
Watching her try cola for the first time was an even better experience.
She popped the tab and immediately flinched at the angry hissing sound.
"Is this... some cursed magic?"
She narrowed her golden eyes suspiciously.
Her hand was already at the hilt of her sword, ready to draw it.
"Relax, it's not gonna kill you... Just taste it... Like this."
He demonstrated by popping his own cola can and taking a casual sip.
"See? Like that."
He said, wiping his mouth.
"... In this manner?"
Aurelia carefully copied his movements with scientific precision.
And the moment the cola hit her tongue…
"!!!"
She froze completely like time had stopped.
Then proceeded to chug the entire can in three seconds flat.
It was absolutely glorious to witness.
A pure and pristine divine maiden chugging soda like a college student who hadn't tasted alcohol in years.
"By the sacred heavens...! W-What manner of sweetness sorcery is this... and this mysterious bubbling sensation in my mouth...?"
"That, my angel, is a mix of caffeine, diabetes, and a hint of carbonation."
"I-I require more of this nectar, my Lord..."
"Go for it, but you're gonna burp like crazy before–"
And she did exactly that before she could grab another can.
"Hihk–!"
She cutely hiccupped.
"..."
He stared.
"..."
She stared back with wide eyes.
Nero wanted to laugh so badly, but he had to hold himself back.
He felt like Aurelia's reputation as a serious and dutiful divine warrior would drop by like 50% if he started laughing right now...
***
"Hey... Aurelia."
"Yes, Lord Nero?"
"Do you remember anything from before? Like, before you showed up in my disaster of a room?"
She paused mid-chew, and then set down her cola can.
"No. Only scattered fragments. I remember fighting... something absolutely massive. Black wings that blocked out the sky. Fire that burned souls. Screams that shattered dimensions. Then blinding light."
She looked down at her hands like they held answers.
"I remember dying. Or... believing I was about to die. But when I awakened from eternal slumber, you were the first thing I beheld, Lord Nero."
Nero frowned like he'd just read a bad plot summary.
"Classic convenient amnesia trope, huh..."
She tilted her head with genuine confusion.
"Amnesia... trope?"
"Don't worry about it. It's an anime thing."
She nodded solemnly like she completely understood the deep wisdom he'd just shared.
She absolutely did not understand anything, though…
Comfortable silence settled between them.
A few hours had passed, and dawn was slowly approaching.
They munched on fries like it was a sacred ritual.
Outside, the world continued burning quietly.
The sounds of chaos and despair had significantly lessened.
It was honestly a miracle that nobody had bothered their peaceful alone time for hours.
Inside, two complete misfits hid away from reality, sharing junk food like it was the most important thing in the world.
Then it happened.
That fateful moment of pure stupidity.
He looked at her.
Really, truly looked at her.
The long, soft, and silky silver hair that cascaded down to her hips like liquid moonlight.
Eyes that shimmered gold with little hints of joy from the junk food she'd been demolishing.
Skin so smooth and flawless he was convinced it had a built-in Photoshop filter.
And her figure,
*Gulp.*
Well…
Let's just say whoever designed her in the celestial department had definitely spent way too much time on the details.
The intricate designs on her warrior armor, sword, and accessories were so detailed that Nero had to question if they were even practical anymore or just for show...
His eyes started wandering on her body...
Then he stopped himself.
No.
Bad thoughts.
Evil, perverted thoughts.
He slapped his own cheeks hard enough to leave marks.
Aurelia looked at him like he was having some kind of mental breakdown.
"Lord Nero?"
He swallowed hard.
Really hard.
Even though it was hidden behind her breastplate, he was absolutely certain the pair of soft treasures underneath were more than generous.
They were perfect in size. Not too big, not too small...
Well, maybe a little on the larger side, but that was always more than welcome.
He could practically envision them!
He felt like he was about to unlock X-ray vision as a passive skill!
This was it.
His moment of complete and utter insanity.
A question that would either strengthen their bond or get him instantly vaporized by divine wrath.
... Well, maybe both would happen at the same time.
He leaned in closer, voice dropping to a serious whisper.
"Aurelia."
The way his voice suddenly turned low and stern, combined with his intensely serious expression...
It made Aurelia, who had been peacefully enjoying her fries, tense up immediately.
Her face instantly returned to its default stoic warrior mode.
"Yes?"
"I'm your master, correct?"
She blinked once.
"Yes."
Dead serious. No hesitation whatsoever.
Though slightly confused, her devotion was absolutely genuine.
"Which means you obey my commands, right?"
"Yes."
Absolute loyalty. Not even a flicker of suspicion.
Nero took the deepest breath of his entire degenerate life.
This was it.
The moment of absolute truth.
The point of no return.
Then he spoke the most dangerous words ever uttered by mankind.
"Can I touch your breasts?"
***
Like what you see? Add it to your library!