Nero was sweating.
No, scratch that.
He was absolutely drenched in pure liquid anxiety.
Beads of cold sweat were doing their best impression of a waterfall down his temples.
He stared at the silver-haired angel sitting beside him in their little corner hideout like some divine statue that could probably delete him from existence with a sneeze.
Aurelia just sat there, still looking majestic as fuck, completely unreadable, and 100% capable of smiting his sorry ass into the afterlife if she felt like it.
Her golden eyes were doing that thing where they just... stared.
Not a single word.
Not even a twitch.
Just the world's most terrifying silence that somehow managed to make his soul want to crawl into a corner and cry.
Meanwhile, inside Nero's head?
Pure, unadulterated panic was throwing the world's most chaotic rave.
It's honestly terrifying how a simple silence can make you question every life choice you've ever made.
'Holy shit, I must have a goddamn death wish!'
For exactly one second, he felt genuine regret for asking such an absolutely braindead question.
But that regret lasted about as long as his attention span during math class.
'No! I need to test this shit! For the sake of science and research!'
And no, not that kind of perverted research, you absolute degenerates.
This was practical research.
Suicidal? Maybe… But definitely practical.
Nero's eyes drifted to the blue screen floating in front of him like some fever dream UI.
---
[Unique Ability Details]:
Name: [Waifu Summoner (SSR)] Type: Ultimate Gacha-Based Bonding Description: Summon legendary allies based on your wildest fantasies. Ranked C to UR. Pull rates? More questionable than your browser history. Results? Adorable... and deadly as hell. But hey, at least they're hot, right? Fulfill your degenerate dreams by creating an invisible army of waifus! Drown yourself in a sea of plot armor and questionable life choices!
[Gacha Details and Rate] ...
[Waifu Coupons] …
…
— Unique Effects —
Loyalty Protocol:
> Your summoned waifu will be 100% loyal to your dumbass self.
Betrayal? Never heard of her. Even if you start spouting the most degenerate nonsense at 3 AM while high on energy drinks, she's still ride-or-die for you. Congratulations on achieving the impossible, I guess?
Obedience Clause:
> The summoned waifu will follow your commands. (Disclaimer: Results may vary depending on personality, mood, current tsundere levels, or how much you sounded like a complete virgin when saying it.)
Some waifus might sass you, roast your entire existence, or roll their eyes so hard they see their own brain, but they'll still obey... eventually.
User Death Immunity:
> Summoned waifus cannot kill, fatally wound, or accidentally "oops" your pathetic existence into the afterlife.
Not even if you walk in on them changing like some discount anime protagonist. (Yes, this bullshit was actually tested. Yes, some poor bastard died before they patched this.)
Bonus Feature:
> Your waifu will automatically refer to you with an affectionate title that matches her personality perfectly.
You might hear delightful things like "Master," "Dear," "You absolute fucking pervert," or "Hey, walking ATM."
Note:
> This skill does not guarantee romance, physical affection, or any semblance of healthy emotional development whatsoever. Please try to build actual relationships and don't rely solely on SSR-tier plot armor to carry your sorry ass through life.
Use responsibly. Or don't. It's your funeral. (Wait, never mind the funeral thing. You're literally waifu-proofed now.)
---
Even after reading through all those questionable clauses that made his soul cringe harder than watching a middle schooler's first YouTube video, Nero was still absolutely determined to test this insane theory.
Was it completely fucking insane? Obviously.
But somebody had to be the guinea pig for science, right?
Unfortunately, he was the only guinea pig present, so there wasn't exactly a line of volunteers forming behind him.
And so the seconds painfully crawled by.
Each tick felt like a direct punch to whatever remained of his sanity.
It was the biggest 50/50 gamble he had made in his lifetime, with his lifeline as the only gambling item…
'I won't die anyway, so it should be fine... right?'
Nero double-checked that clause about 17 times just to make sure he hadn't missed some tiny loophole that would turn him into angel paste.
But as he sat there having his internal crisis...
"..."
Aurelia slowly closed her golden eyes.
Nero's entire soul literally just flinched.
Here it comes, the divine judgment time… Lightning bolt straight to the nuts… Soul purification via holy ass-kicking.
But instead of the celestial violence he expected…
"If that is what Lord Nero desires, then I shall follow."
The words that came out of her mouth made him wonder if his ears had just malfunctioned.
"... What the actual fuck?"
His reality decided to have a little wobble right then and there.
Did this absolute angel waifu just…?
'WAIT, SHE ACTUALLY AGREED!?'
He honestly hadn't expected that response in a million goddamn years.
Actually, he didn't even really mean it for real.
… Well, okay, maybe he did mean it, but not for REAL-real, you know?
Before he could scream "PSYCH!" like it was the biggest prank of the year, Aurelia calmly stood up and reached toward her armor with her usual noble composure.
That masterfully crafted bluish-silver breastplate was shimmering in the dim light like something straight out of a fantasy nerd's wet dream.
Holy as hell, regal as fuck, and a total flex for anyone with even a passing interest in medieval aesthetics.
And she just... casually started taking the breastplate off.
With a soft metallic clink that somehow sounded way too intimate for comfort, there was just a snug-fitting black undersuit left.
The moment that weight came off, her rather generous chest bounced subtly beneath the fabric like physics had personally blessed this moment.
*Boing…*
And holy shit, physics had definitely been generous.
"..."
*Gulp.*
They were quite ample, indeed; his brain burnt the sight to the deepest recess of his memory.
Nero just stared like his brain had been completely hijacked by his most primitive instincts.
His monkey brain neurons were activated.
But then reality crashed back in like a freight train, as he immediately snapped,
"WAIT, HOLD THE FUCK UP!"
Nero shot up from his seat with both arms raised like he was trying to disarm a nuclear bomb with pure panic.
He absolutely had to draw a line somewhere before this got completely out of control.
"That was just a joke!"
Aurelia paused mid-motion in the middle of her stripping.
"That was... a joke?" she repeated slowly, like someone trying to decode an alien language.
"A test! You passed with flying colors! S+ rank for loyalty! A gold star! Employee of the month!"
She blinked those impossibly perfect eyes.
"... I see."
She nodded with that same calm aura and gently re-secured the breastplate like absolutely nothing had happened.
It was honestly amazing how she could go back to casually munching on those fries despite the completely unhinged request he'd just thrown at her.
Nero collapsed back into his chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
His heart was still beating like it was trying to escape his chest.
His entire life had just flashed before his eyes in glorious high definition.
Most of it had been boobs, if he was being completely honest.
And his soul had nearly been erased by his own idiotic gamble.
But goddamn, it had been worth it for the research.
However, his eyes suddenly narrowed as a wave of tragic regret washed over him like a cold shower.
'I'm probably the stupidest genius who's ever lived... If I'd just kept my big mouth shut, I could've... NO! Stay pure, you degenerate!'
But he had to stop himself before his brain went down that particular rabbit hole.
He almost punched himself in the face for even thinking it.
'I might be a complete and utter degenerate, but I'm not a fucking scumbag. No shortcuts. No empty pleasures. Only the full-course romance conquest experiences!'
Nero absolutely refused to ruin whatever bond they might build just because he could technically "order" her to do things.
Remember, she was a person with actual emotions and feelings before she was a summoned waifu.
'And she's a badass angel who deserves genuine love, not just horny bullshit!'
Nero had just made himself an ironclad rule: earn her heart first before even thinking about anything physical.
'Besides, isn't it way cooler if the girl is the one doing the begging instead of me commanding her like some third-rate hentai protagonist?'
Absolutely fucking right it was.
'That's why a true protagonist wins the heroine's heart before her body!'
Nero's eyes burned with the pure determination of someone who'd just discovered the meaning of life.
It was a completely noble declaration.
A stupid one, maybe, but still noble as hell nonetheless.
But still, his brain couldn't help but think...
"Damn, those divine funbags though..."
He made an involuntary squeezing gesture in the air with a smile full of regret that would make philosophers weep.
What an absolute chaotic pervert we are dealing with here.
*CRASH–!*
Suddenly, the sound of wood being absolutely destroyed came crashing from the main entrance.
The makeshift barricade they'd built got obliterated into splinters like it was made of toothpicks.
"What the hell–!"
"!!!"
Both Nero and Aurelia shot to their feet at the unexpected noise.
A blur of movement burst through the debris like a human cannonball.
Then another blur.
And another one for good measure.
Three people stumbled into their little safe haven like they'd just been personally chased by Satan himself.
The first was a girl with a slim figure, completely disheveled twin braids, and big round glasses that were barely hanging onto her face.
Those lenses had enough dust and grime on them to qualify as archaeological artifacts.
She had a first aid kit slung over her shoulder and a soiled school uniform jacket tied around her waist like some post-apocalyptic fashion statement.
Total medic vibes. Probably the healer-type character in this fucked-up RPG they were all living through.
The second was a guy who looked like he'd walked straight out of a sports anime and into a nightmare.
Broad shoulders, track pants that had seen better days, and he was clutching a metal bat that was more "broken" than "functional" at this point.
He had that unmistakable "dumb but dependable" energy radiating off him like a beacon.
The third guy was leaner, with a thinner frame wrapped in a hoodie that was half-zipped, and he had this nervous tic in his eye that absolutely screamed, 'I've seen some serious shit and it wasn't pretty.'
All three of them froze completely when they spotted Nero and Aurelia, like deer caught in headlights.
"W-Wait, there are actually people here!?" The girl blinked rapidly behind those fossilized glasses of hers.
Then her eyes went wide as dinner plates when she got a good look at Aurelia.
"Are those... wings?"
The sporty guy was way too out of breath to contribute anything meaningful to the conversation, his hands planted firmly on his knees while he wheezed like a broken accordion.
But before anyone could say another word…
Heavy, distinctly inhuman growls started echoing from outside like the world's worst dinner invitation.
"Guys, we seriously need to move! They're coming!" The thin dude shouted from his position near the destroyed entrance.
"What exactly is coming?"
Nero asked, even though his brain was already connecting the dots.
Distant growls and the sound of way too many footsteps rumbled through the streets like an approaching storm made of teeth and bad intentions.
A zombie horde. Because, of fucking course, it needs to be one.
"Oh great, now we've got zombie visitors too?"
Nero muttered with all the enthusiasm of someone who'd just been told their favorite anime got cancelled.
It seemed like this apocalyptic blockbuster was determined to complete the entire cast of monsters for your standard generic end-of-the-world experience.
"W-What are we supposed to do now!?"
The girl of the trio practically wailed.
"Well, this is just damn fantastic..." Another one groaned.
The survivors looked completely cornered, like rats in a maze designed by someone with serious sadistic tendencies.
Nero glanced over at Aurelia, who was already stepping forward with the calm confidence of someone who'd done this dance before.
She was completely serene, and the faint silver glow of her wings started illuminating their surroundings like the world's most badass nightlight.
"I shall handle this situation."
Her voice came out calm and clear as crystal.
She slowly unsheathed her blade, revealing a cold metallic gleam that promised very bad things for anything stupid enough to get in her way.
The survivors just blinked at her like they were trying to process what they were seeing.
Aurelia spread those magnificent angel wings of hers wide.
The entire room suddenly flooded with soft divine radiance that made everything look like a scene from the world's most metal Christmas card.
"Is that... actually an angel?" The girl whispered in complete awe.
Nero couldn't help but smirk with the pride of someone showing off their coolest collectible.
"That's MY badass angel, to be precise."
The window cracked ominously.
A bone-chilling roar erupted from outside, like the earth itself was pissed off.
Aurelia's silver hair fluttered dramatically in a breeze that came from nowhere.
She didn't waste any time with more words as she leaped straight toward the entrance with the grace of a deadly ballet dancer.
Straight into the chaos like it was just another casual day of slaughtering.
Because when an angel tells you she'll handle something, you shut the fuck up and let her handle it.
And Nero? He leaned back in his chair like he was settling in to watch the world's most violent movie, while grinning like an idiot.
"Yeah... definitely waifu material, alright."
That being said, as much as he was proud of her absolute prowess in the art of turning enemies into confetti, he couldn't just let his ass get carried through everything like some discount damsel in distress.
'Can't let myself be dead weight all the time.'
Nero had his pride as a man, goddammit.
He cracked his knuckles after watching his personal Valkyrie turn the first batch of zombies into what looked like a really violent vegetable chopper commercial.
The next wave of opponents was a full zombie horde this time.
'Time to bust a bone or two.'
***
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