"RAAAAAARRRGH!!"
The monster lunged like it was late for an appointment to murder his face.
Nero screamed like a little girl.
"AAAHH SHIT!"
He dove left just in time, crashing into his poor gaming chair like a drunk penguin.
"Ow!"
His head kissed the metal part of the chair hard enough to make his ancestors feel it.
But he had no time for a pity party.
The monster screeched across the floor, did this pathetic spin, and flopped over like it had just given up on life entirely.
Wait, that wasn't the monster.
That was him.
The monster's claws tore through where he'd just been chilling, slicing his anime-covered beanbag in half like it was made of paper.
Cotton guts exploded into the air like a decapitated plushie having its worst day.
"NOT THE BEANBAG!" Nero yelped, half-crawling behind his coffee table like some deranged crab.
The beast snarled again with the enthusiasm of a customer service representative on Monday morning.
Its freaky glowing mouth-hole tracked him like heat-seeking missiles programmed by a sadist.
"Think, Nero, think!"
He looked around frantically.
The apartment was a complete warzone of weeb crap and broken furniture.
Posters were peeling off the walls like the room was molting.
His body pillow was slumped on the couch looking like it had accepted its fate.
It was honestly a miracle the thing even survived this chaos. Not that he was complaining about his waifu pillow living to see another day.
'Wait! This isn't the time to worry about that!'
Then his eyes landed on something shiny.
The curtain rod!
He made a break for it like his life depended on it (because it absolutely did).
The monster roared and slammed down one of its nightmare claws.
*THOOM!*
The floor cracked like his will to live.
Nero rolled under the impact and yanked the curtain rod free with the desperation of a gacha player on their last pull.
It wasn't Excalibur, but it'd have to do for his broke ass.
He spun it around like some wannabe Jedi who learned everything from YouTube tutorials.
"Alright, you eldritch Mufasa! Time to catch these hands!"
The monster lunged again with all the grace of a drunk rhinoceros.
*Wooom!*
Nero sidestepped and smacked it across what he assumed was its snout with the rod.
CLANG!
It barely flinched. Like he'd just tickled it with a feather.
"...Okay, maybe not the hands. Maybe, like, a few fingers. Pinkies, actually."
The beast snarled and whipped its tail like it was trying to swat the world's most annoying fly.
"Ugh!"
Nero ducked so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash.
Some of its razor-sharp scales scraped the skin on his cheek.
The edge of his couch exploded behind him like it owed the monster money.
"Yep, okay, that's a tail whip! NO NEED TO SHOW OFF, YOU OVERGROWN NIGHTMARE!"
Then he saw it.
A glowing purple vein pulsing on the underside of the creature's jaw like a neon sign that said "STAB HERE, DUMMY."
Bingo! Weak point detected. Classic video game logic at work.
"HEY UGLY! OPEN WIDE!"
Nero grabbed a nearby broken lamp and flung it at the thing's face like he was playing the world's deadliest game of catch.
The lampshade smacked one of its... eye holes? Whatever those glowing bits were.
"RAAGHHH!!"
The monster reared back, roaring like it was personally offended by his interior decorating.
'Perfect opening!'
And Nero charged in like the absolute madman he was.
Rod up, adrenaline screaming through his veins, he jumped onto the couch, then launched himself off the armrest straight at the thing's chest like some discount action hero.
Mid-air, he flipped the rod in his grip and jammed it upwards right into that glowing purple weak spot.
*SPLORCH!*
The rod sank in deeper than his student debt. Purple ichor exploded everywhere like he'd just stabbed a piñata filled with alien blood.
The beast let out the most ungodly screech known to mankind. Like a fax machine getting exorcised by a dying modem.
"RAAAAGHHHH!!"
But the bastard wasn't dead yet.
"Damn! How sturdy is this piece of crap?!"
He gripped the curtain rod tighter than his grip on sanity as the monster went absolutely berserk.
*BANG!*
Since he was getting flung around like a rag doll, his body kept smacking into his furniture like some twisted pinball game.
"Ouch! Hey! Cut that shit out!"
Needless to say, it hurt like absolute hell!
But Nero didn't let go, because letting go meant becoming monster chow.
"Easy there, boy!"
The monster didn't listen to his completely reasonable request. The pain from the lodged curtain rod was making it lose its damn mind.
"Alright, we'll do this the hard way then!"
Using every ounce of strength his noodle arms could muster, Nero yanked the rod back before...
*SLURRSSHH!!*
He plunged it back in with even more force, like he was trying to unclog the world's most disgusting drain.
"RAAAAHHHGGGGGG!"
"Stop whining like a little bitch and take it like a... whatever the hell you are!"
If the monster could talk, it would probably file a formal complaint about his rude behavior, but unfortunately it was too busy dying.
*SLURRSSHH! SLURRSSHH!*
Nero kept stabbing the same spot like he was playing the most violent game of whack-a-mole ever invented.
Finally, the monster started losing its fight.
*THUMP!*
He hit the ground hard, rolled away, and barely avoided getting crushed by the monster's collapsing body.
*THUUUUUUUD!*
Dust settled like the credits rolling on the world's most chaotic movie.
Silence.
Then:
"Did I just...?"
He peeked up cautiously.
The monster was completely still. Deader than his social life.
He waited a few more seconds just to be sure it wasn't playing possum.
He actually did it...
He really freaking did it!
"...HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY KILLED THAT THING!!"
He flopped on his back, arms spread wide, panting like he'd just finished the world's most intense Dark Souls boss fight with 1 HP and a broken controller.
His vision got all blurry for a second.
Then...
DING!
[Level Up!]
[Level Up!]
A shiny new screen popped up like a reward notification.
---
Name: Nero Walker (Jobless Degenerate)
Race: Human
Level: 1 → 3
Stats:
STR: 1.1/10 → 1.15/10
DEX: 0.9/10 → 0.95/10
INT: 1.2/10
VIT: 1.2/10 → 1.25/10
LUCK: 1/10
CHA: 0.8/10 (oof.)
Active Skills:
– [Empty]
Passive Skills:
– [Empty]
Unique Abilities:
– [Empty]
---
Nero groaned like he'd just seen his credit card bill.
"Still nothing?!"
He started poking around with his eyes, trying every anime trope and gamer instinct his brain could remember.
Tried to will "Inventory" open. Nothing.
Attempted "Quests." Nada.
Whispered "Settings" like he was casting a spell.
Yelled "HELP MENU" loud enough to wake the neighbors.
Even tried saying "Cheat Code Activate" because why the hell not.
Nothing but the sound of his own desperation.
At one point, he even stood in a T-pose just in case the system was motion-activated like some discount Kinect game.
Still nothing but silence and embarrassment.
He slumped back onto the broken floor, covered in sweat, bruises, and what he really hoped was just monster goop.
"This is the lamest cheat system ever. It's like getting a PS5 box for Christmas and opening it to find socks and disappointment."
But just as he was about to give up on his isekai dreams...
[Congratulations.]
The same robotic, monotone voice from before echoed in his head like the world's most bored announcer.
[You are one of the chosen from the 33.2% of new users who successfully killed a monster upon awakening. The user qualifies for an early unique ability selection.]
"Wait, hold up, what?" Nero blinked like his brain was buffering.
[The following unique abilities have been created based on the user's inner desires. Please choose one.]
A glowing panel appeared with more flair than a premium gacha game trying to steal his wallet.
Three options floated in front of him like they were on sale.
---
1. Adapt-o-Mancer (SR)
Description: Your body rapidly adjusts to damage types. Burned? Now fire-resistant. Zapped? Call you Electric Boy.
Passive evolution. Comes with mild addiction to danger.
2. Plot Armor (UR)
Description: Unlikely things go your way when the stakes are high. Coincidences, near-deaths, last-second dodges? You've got a divine scriptwriter. CAUTION: Readers hate this stuff!
3. Waifu Summoner (SSR)
Description: Summon legendary allies based on your fantasies. Ranked C to UR. Pull rates? Questionable. Results? Adorable... and deadly. But hey, at least it's a girl, right? Fulfill your perverted dreams by creating an invisible army of harem! Drown yourself with boobs!
---
Nero's eyes glazed over Adapt-o-Mancer first.
"Cool, cool, mutation powers and stuff..."
The description sounded questionable as hell, but it was definitely some overpowered bullshit just from reading it.
Then his eyes moved to Plot Armor.
"Classic OP main character cheese. I'm totally into it."
He was seriously tempted to pick it. Especially since it was UR-tier, which was basically the holy grail of gacha rankings.
The highest tier possible... at least from his years of experience as a veteran gacha addict.
Plot Armor just sounded too broken not to choose.
I mean, who wouldn't want to survive getting nuked by sheer dumb luck and some third-rate author's terrible writing?
Hell, he bet with this ability he could probably survive getting punched by that bald caped guy from that one anime.
The way Plot Armor was glowing was practically begging him to pick it.
But just as he was about to make his selection...
He saw it.
The third option.
Waifu Summoner (SSR).
His soul straight up left his body for a hot second.
"Wait... I can actually summon waifus?"
His eyes zoomed in on the description like he was using Google Maps to find the meaning of life.
A tiny disclaimer read: 'Includes combat support, healing, and emotional damage immunity. RNG-based. Emotional attachment guaranteed. Gacha drop pool expands with the user's desires.'
Nero's heart started beating faster than a hummingbird on energy drinks.
His gambling addiction was practically begging him.
All gacha senses were going absolutely mental.
He didn't even need to think about it.
No.
There was no point in thinking. There's only one choice right from the very beginning…
"LOCKING IN WAIFU SUMMONER, BABY!"
'Who the hell needs Plot Armor anyway?!'
Waifus over meta builds.
It was the iron-clad law for REAL gigachad gacha players.
"With the power of anime titties, you can conquer anything!"
Nero smashed that button harder than he'd ever clicked anything in his entire life.
He swore he even heard a 'crack!' from the system's interface because of how hard he pressed it... but that was probably just his imagination running wild.
The system chimed with the most beautiful sparkly sound, like magical anime girl bells mixed with slot machine jackpots.
[Waifu Summoner (SSR) confirmed.]
Nero stared at the screen with shaking hands.
A new line appeared beneath his stats in the Unique Abilities section.
[Unique Abilities: Waifu Summoner (SSR)]
Nero dropped to his knees like he was receiving divine revelation.
Tears of pure joy streamed down his face.
"God... Buddha... RNG Jesus... Gacha gods of the entire universe... you actually heard my prayers."
Then he sniffled like a little kid on Christmas morning.
"...Please let me pull at least an A-tier on my first try. Hell, even a C-rank catgirl maid would make me the happiest degenerate alive!"
He was literally begging the universe for good luck.
The blue screen pulsed one last time like it was answering his desperate pleas.
[Initializing First Summon...]