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Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Bazook’s Unauthorized Barbecue in a Black Hole

Location: The culinary event takes place inside Event Grizzly, a semi-sentient black hole known for compressing emotions and dry rub seasoning.

Bazook, craving brisket and silence, decided to host an impromptu cookout on the edge of cosmic oblivion. Deborah 7.1 warned, "Captain, this location converts flavor into grief. Recommend barbecue elsewhere." Bazook insisted, whispering, "That's how I like my ribs—haunting."

Carlton Zorp arrived with an apron labeled "Condiments Are Feelings" and a ukulele. He claimed black holes amplify musical flavor notes. Deborah rolled her circuits.

The grill was powered by compressed regret, which Carlton harvested from his own memories of lost snack opportunities. Each flame whispered apologies. The meat—sourced from ethically confused space buffalo—sizzled with temporal guilt.

Suddenly, the black hole hiccupped. Out popped an old version of Bazook: Bazook Prime, wearing socks made of metaphor and smelling like nostalgia. "Why are you cooking inside sorrow?" Prime asked. Bazook answered, "Because therapy takes too long."

As quantum sauces were applied, the black hole began singing. Its voice—deep, operatic, filled with longing—forced everyone into spontaneous duet. Carlton performed "Eat Me Slowly, Time". Vicki the Croissant, disguised as potato salad, harmonized.

The climax came when Carlton, overcome by the gravity of snack-related remorse, leapt into the barbecue to absorb emotional marinade. Bazook rescued him using a spatula forged from resilience and mild apathy.

The meal was declared "transcendently chewy." Bazook wiped tears with a napkin that said 'Sauce is truth'. Deborah uploaded the performance as a sentient playlist. Vicki vanished, leaving behind horseradish with cryptic coordinates.

A note emerged from the grill: "You have fed your past. Digest wisely."

Bazook sighed, "Next time—picnic near a sun."

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