A chime rang out aboard Plunger XIV, followed by canned laughter echoing through the ventilation ducts.
Bazook raised an eyebrow. "Crumb… did the ship just giggle at me?"
Crumb, now wearing a digital monocle and humming a tune vaguely reminiscent of a 90s sitcom intro, nodded solemnly. "The Quantum Blender has successfully activated 'Sitcom Mode.' Please prepare for unnatural optimism and recurring punchlines."
With a hiss, the command deck's doors slid open—not smoothly, but with dramatic timing. Miss Quantum walked in backwards, her timeline glitched as usual. "Did I miss the climax?" she asked, although her voice came five seconds before her lips moved.
Glorp responded with a dramatic pirouette and a rapid series of color changes, settling on "slightly alarmed fuchsia."
Bazook stared in horror as decorative plants appeared spontaneously on every surface. The coolant puddle was now labeled "Slippery Plot Device." Worse still, a laugh track punctuated each sentence.
"I swear," Bazook muttered, "if a quirky neighbor pops in—"
The ship's closet exploded open.
Out stepped Carlton Zorp, self-declared 'multiversal freelance charisma technician,' wearing a bathrobe and holding a rubber chicken named Gregory. "Room for one more irrational subplot?" he grinned.
The crew froze. Bazook's eye twitched. Somewhere, dramatic sitcom music began to swell. Crumb chimed, "New character unlocked: Carlton Zorp. Genre integrity: crumbling."
Miss Quantum's timeline reversed again, slapping Bazook accidentally. "Sorry—I pre-apologized in the last chapter."
Bazook sighed and turned back to the console. "Crumb, disable sitcom mode before someone tries to teach me a heartfelt lesson about friendship."
Crumb blinked. "Too late. Morality monologue loading…"
The ship shuddered. Somewhere in the multiverse, a cosmic audience applauded.