Poetic Flight and the Icy Rival
Han Yu, now committed to his "poetic verse" curse, shot off the mountain using Nine Heavens Soaring. He was a blur of jade and silk, his speed easily outclassing the envoy's earthly pace.
"The Jade Cloud falls beneath my hurried feet," he rhymed, internally groaning. "The sacred piglet, a prize I must meet!"
As he flew, a distant but familiar icy aura caught his Heavenly Insight Eye. Down below, on the winding mountain road, was Lady Xue—the Northern Ice Palace envoy—traveling at remarkable speed on a carriage pulled by two snow leopards. She was cutting across the territory, clearly aiming for the same village.
"Blast that efficiency!" Han Yu muttered (not in rhyme).
He quickly corrected himself:
"The rival cold doth press upon my trail,
No time for rest, my poetic skills must prevail!"
He pushed his speed, deciding that showing off was half the victory. He didn't just fly; he performed a series of elegant, unnecessary mid-air spins, just to ensure that if anyone looked up, they would see the handsomest man in the realm dramatically racing a carriage.
The Bandit Lair and the Thunder God's Wrath
Han Yu arrived at the hidden bandit camp nestled in a gloomy ravine, landing with an overly dramatic flourish. The air was rough, filled with the stench of cheap liquor and low-level Mortal Awakening Qi.
"Who dares to intrude on the Sky Wolf Gang's—" A hulking bandit chieftain stepped forward, armed with a rusty axe.
Han Yu cut him off with a booming declaration:
"I am the Prince of Charm, the Prodigy of Jade!
A swine you stole, now let the ransom be paid!
Release the Piglet, or face a swift defeat,
My Thunder God's Wrath will turn your life to heat!"
The bandit chieftain, recognizing the robes but not the poetic lunacy, roared and attacked.
Han Yu responded by channeling his powerful Dao Celestial Soul energy. He didn't waste time with a Void Severing Slash; he needed fast, chaotic damage. Heavenly lightning gathered in his hand, forming a miniature spear crackling with devastating power—the Thunder God's Wrath.
He didn't aim at the chieftain. Instead, with a mischievous grin, he aimed at a large, unstable rock formation behind the chieftain.
BOOM!
The resulting lightning strike and explosion of rock and dust created a spectacular, terrifying mess, burying half the bandits in gravel.
The chieftain stood paralyzed, realizing a cultivator who could summon heavenly lightning for a warning shot was not to be trifled with.
The Interrogation and the Piglet's Confession
The terrified chieftain immediately pointed to a poorly constructed wooden cage. Inside, squealing hysterically, was the Sacred Piglet of Prosperity, a ridiculously plump swine with a small golden bell tied to its ear.
Han Yu approached the cage, putting his finger to his temple. He subtly activated the Soul Resonance Art, a technique usually reserved for communicating with ancient spirits or guiding souls, but which he could adjust for lower life forms.
"Oink! Oink! Why am I here? I miss my apples!" squeaked a voice only Han Yu could hear.
"Tell me, small swine, of your tragic plight," Han Yu whispered, keeping up the act.
"Do you weep for apples, or for the moon's soft light?"
"The fat bandit ate all my apples! He is a terrible cook!" the Piglet wailed.
Han Yu deactivated the skill, suppressing a laugh. He retrieved the Piglet and, before leaving, decided to add a bit more chaos.
He tossed a small pouch of silver at the chieftain. "A tip for the spectacle!" Then, he activated the Ethereal Whisper and sent one last message directly into the chieftain's mind: "Next time, try kidnapping an actual princess. The pay is better."
The Triumphant, Yet Embarrassing, Arrival
Han Yu soared back towards the village, the Sacred Piglet tucked dramatically under his arm.
He landed just as Lady Xue's snow leopard carriage pulled up to the village gates. She stepped out, radiating cold authority, ready to claim the glory and the villagers' respect.
The villagers, previously resigned, erupted in cheers as Han Yu descended, holding their prize aloft.
"Fear not, good folk, your hero has returned!
The sacred swine, a lesson bandits learned!"
Lady Xue stared at Han Yu, the handsome Dao Celestial Soul master, standing there covered in dust, clutching a squealing pig. Her cold expression flickered with absolute disbelief.
"You... you recovered a piglet," she stated, her voice flat.
"Indeed!" Han Yu replied proudly, bowing with the piglet still under his arm.
"A feat of love, a testament so grand,
No stone un-turned in this romantic land!"
He handed the squealing Piglet over to the grateful village elder.
Han Yu glanced at Lady Xue, who had already retrieved a small, shimmering Love Crystal Diamond—a tiny shard of respect—from the villagers' collective awe. His presence had completely overshadowed her diplomatic efforts.
He flashed her a victorious grin, but internally, he felt the curse lift. Finally, no more rhyming!
Lady Xue looked at the triumphant Han Yu, then at the ridiculous swine, and finally at her spotless, prestigious robes.
She sighed.
"The Northern Ice Palace," she said coldly, "will need to reconsider its strategy concerning your fiancée, Jing Yue. Clearly, standard diplomacy is ineffective against... this."
Han Yu knew the message was clear: Jing Yue was coming, and she would be playing his chaotic game.