The Festival and the Matchmaker Spirit
The Jade Cloud Sect was transformed for the Moonlight Festival. Thousands of glowing paper lanterns floated above the misty emerald mountains, casting a soft, romantic light over the grounds. Elegant disciples gathered in white and jade robes, exchanging subtle glances and sipping spirit wine.
Han Yu, looking absurdly handsome in his finest silk robes, stood by the main pagoda, using the soft lighting to perfect his "deeply introspective" pose. He was casually ignoring the twenty or so girls who were "accidentally" walking past him.
A shimmer of light appeared on his shoulder—the Divine Matchmaker's Seal manifesting as a small, sassy, floating pixie named Jin-Jin, the Matchmaker Spirit.
"Oh, look at you, darling," Jin-Jin whispered, her voice like tinkling bells, dripping with sarcasm. "Posing like a lost poet. You have twelve major romantic potentials converging on your location right now. Do something chaotic!"
"Relax, Jin-Jin," Han Yu murmured without moving his lips. "I'm not here to start a fire tonight, only to enjoy the ambiance and observe the slow, delicate growth of my future power sources. I need a strong crystal next, not a grain of rice."
"Boring!" Jin-Jin huffed, kicking her tiny legs. "The prophecy is ticking, little prince! If you don't start fueling the Love War, the realm's romantic energy will backfire, and everyone will accidentally marry a potato!"
Before Han Yu could retort, Lin Mei, his tomboyish childhood friend, stomped up to him.
"Han Yu! Stop posturing! Elder Zhang needs you to supervise the Spirit Carp release. And stop whispering to the air, you look like a narcissistic lunatic."
"Ah, my faithful watchdog," Han Yu said, flashing her a winning smile. "Must you always be so aggressively beautiful? You're ruining my artistic mood."
Lin Mei blushed and tried to scowl, failing miserably. "Go. Now."
The Cascading Confessions
Han Yu ambled towards the lotus pond for the carp release, but the crowds and the romantic atmosphere made him careless. He was enjoying the attention too much.
First, Yue Rong, the icy noblewoman, approached him. Her silver hair glowed under the moonlight.
"Han Yu," she began, her voice strained. "The Celestial Ice Pavilion requires an alliance. My father will only agree if—"
Han Yu, thinking of her future massive Love Crystal Diamond, cut her off with a charming sigh. "I know, Yue Rong. You don't have to say it. The connection between us is so strong, it freezes the very air. Don't worry, I'll stand by you forever." He winked.
Yue Rong blinked, her usual icy composure completely gone. "You... you agree?"
"Of course," Han Yu chuckled, walking past. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have fish to watch."
He didn't realize that in her sect's formal language, "I'll stand by you forever" was an unbreakable, informal marriage vow. Yue Rong stood there, her heart pounding, already planning the wedding invitations.
Next, he ran into Lin Qing, the fiery alchemist. She shoved a steaming bun into his hand.
"I concocted this! It's infused with 'Courage and Confession Qi!' Eat it!"
Han Yu took a bite. "Delicious! Your skills are unmatched, Lin Qing. I swear, my future depends entirely on your efforts!"
Lin Qing's crimson eyes widened. She misinterpreted this as Han Yu declaring that her alchemy was essential to his life and he required her as his Chief Consort and Alchemist. "You've said it! I accept it! I'll prepare a lifelong supply of spicy dumplings!"
Jin-Jin zipped around Han Yu's head. "You just promised eternal servitude to an explosive girl, you idiot! Beautiful, beautiful chaos!"
The Absurd Promise and the Betrothal Setup
Finally, Han Yu arrived at the pond. He found a nervous young girl, Shui Li, who was practicing the Lovestruck Lotus Illusion (one of the comedic elements) and accidentally covered herself in pink petals. She was the one he needed to impress to start the carp release.
Han Yu, tired of the intense conversations, decided to use an absurd distraction.
"Young lady," Han Yu said, kneeling theatrically. "Your technique is… mesmerizing. You've successfully captured the essence of unrequited love! I vow that the person who truly holds my heart will receive the most magnificent, sparkling jewel in the entire realm!"
He then pointed to the moon. "See that moon? I'll give her one just like it!"
The girl, Shui Li, fainted from sheer romantic overload, achieving a 0.01% Love Crystal Diamond for Han Yu.
Just then, a stern, booming voice cut through the romantic ambiance.
"A magnificent, sparkling jewel, you say?"
Han Yu turned to see a tall, icy woman, Lady Xue, flanked by two imposing guards. She wore robes embroidered with the emblem of the Northern Ice Palace.
"I am here on behalf of the Ice Palace Matriarch," Lady Xue declared, her voice like cracking ice.
"My Matriarch, the noble Jing Mi, is rumored to possess the realm's most magnificent and sparkling jewel: the Eternal Snow Diamond."
She looked Han Yu up and down with disapproval. "Your father, the merchant Han Jian, has arranged a formal betrothal between you and our Matriarch's daughter, the noble Jing Yue."
Han Yu's charming composure completely broke. "A betrothal? My father? To an icy noblewoman? Wait, wait, wait—"
Lady Xue raised an elegant, cold hand. "Your vow just now—to give the person who holds your heart a magnificent, sparkling jewel—is considered a binding public contract by the Northern Ice Palace. The Matriarch's daughter, Jing Yue, will arrive in three days to claim the status of your fiancée and ensure the proper exchange of the Eternal Snow Diamond."
Han Yu was speechless. He had just set up one of his major Plot Hooks (A Sudden Betrothal) with an absurd, off-hand promise about the moon.
Lin Mei finally caught up and stared at the chaos. Yue Rong and Lin Qing both arrived as well, having heard the word "fiancée."
Yue Rong's eyes flashed with icy fury. "He swore he would stand by me forever!"
Lin Qing's fists curled, small flames licking her fingertips. "He swore his future depended on my efforts! He can't be betrothed!"
Jin-Jin hovered over Han Yu, cackling wildly. "Congratulations, my Love War General! You've successfully started a fiancée fight on the most romantic night of the year! Ten out of ten chaos points!"
Han Yu looked at the three furious women, the stern envoy, and the unconscious girl. He scratched the back of his head and finally managed a weak, embarrassed smile.
"Well," he stammered. "This has gone horribly right."