"I'm telling you bro there's no God outside of us," I say to him, he looks to me like I'm some sort of lost soul whom he pitied with all his might but I continue anyways, "Logically speaking, the God we're talking about is the voice inside you that tells you to do good or bad, our innate voices with which we are born with, the good voice is classified as God by peoples and the bad is classified as Satan ok? That's what I would call the the good and bad sides we're all born with."
He looks at me a bit and slowly shakes his head, "Logically speaking, you're an idiot!" He says and everyone laughs.
"Wait na, you know you don't like to wait, shey you don talk finish? Make I talk."
"Hm! Oya na, talk your nonsense, see God, please o," He says looking up as if conversing with someone, "I was never here!"
"But aren't you like the one spearheading the entire argument?" A girl behind remarks. I look up and catch a glimpse of Ifeoma arriving, immediately after her, arms are interlocked, she stands a bit tall over Ifeoma, has a little more skin too, she feels and looks shy but her presence, aura and skin tone is difficult to resist or ignore, Ifeoma looks more confident and among though. I wave at Ifeoma who reciprocates as they take a seat amongst the third row, I wave to the girl too, she cautiously waves back, I turn my focus back to... This fool!
He looks up again and says, "Ok God, I was here but I'm just busy fighting your battles," And the rest of the class laughs. Somehow, they found it hilarious, wow, a hypothetically powerful being who couldn't fight his own battles but depended on his subjects to defend him always, who were we kidding?
I look over at Chi who was looking at me the entire time, as my eyes catches hers she looks away to her books, she will later begin to admonish me for 'embarrassing her in public.' As she looks into her books she shakes her head slowly as if disappointed in me.
But this is what I loved to do, in this class, we straight out argued about anything and everything, Chiedozie sometimes chipped in but most of the time, it was myself and Chinonye Precious, short, dark skinned, feisty, sweet, 'not trying to impress any motherfucker' kinda bitch, an Ìgbo goddess indeed, as I liked to call her, she absolutely hated my anti religious sentiments but I knew for a fact that I was a hard nut to crack and she knew that too but so was she, in more ways than one, we absolutely had our jobs cut out for us but as we both had what it took, she was into law, I, journalism and Chidera was law too, Chiedozie was equally for law too and together whenever we could, we would unapologetically make a raucous, to us, we were simply having fun and learning in the process.
Chidera also hated my anti religious sentiments though but also personally avoided the discussion with me so we don't have a fallout and I respected that but when it came to politics or any other nonsense, my girl was hotter than a metal ready for sharpening.
"So let me ask you, do you believe in God?" He asked calmly, he sat on a desk and looked me deep in the eyes...Kai! I chuckle, Two can play that game.
"Which one?" I ask. He sounds frustrated as he looks around.
Scoffing he asks, "Which one is which one again? There's only one true God and he's the God of Israel... Yah..."
"Just imagine the rubbish you're spitting... Infact, first of all, according to other people's beliefs, there's no one true God because there are multiple true Gods," I refer to the Gods with air quote unquotes, "Across multiple centuries, dynasties and regions, Allah of Saudi, Vishnu, Brahma, Shiva, Krishna etc of southeast Asia, Amun or Amen Ra of Egypt where the word 'Amen' comes from, Osiris, Horus or Heru of Egypt, where the word hero comes from, Heru, Hero, you get the point, Seth of Egypt where the Seth in your Bible was copied from, there are the eternal ancestors and founding Kim dynasty of North Korea, Kim il Sung, Kim Jong il, To Sol Ju and Kim Jong Un the Mother and Father of the present eternal supreme Matriarch of the kingdom of North Korea, comrade Sol Ju Ae, there's Zeus, Hades, Athena and Poseidon of Greece, Hera, Thor, Loki and Odin of Norse mythology or Scandinavia present day Finland, Norway and Sweden, Ani, Idemmili, Oma, Ogbunanyasị, Ekwensu, who is the trickster God of warcraft for the Ìgbo people and not the devil like the religious colonizers made our early ancestors believe, Ịkụkụ of Ìgbo land, Yemoja, Osun, Ogun, Oduduwa, Obatala, whom some cultures like to depict as a lady, me too, Sango, Esu, who's also not the devil like the religious say but the Yoruba trickster God of warcraft, Oya, the beautiful goddess of transformations in Yoruba land, lemme also add Buddha, of southeast Asia, Siddhartha Gautama, even though he's not necessarily a God but he is who it is, Anansi, the spider trickster God of the Akan people of Ghana... so... and many more, so my point is simple, there have been over three thousand deities, four thousand beliefs across the universe spanning across all ages, eras, periods and dynasties so your God and no one else's God is and can ever be the supreme one or the only one true God and need I remind you all Africans that Africa is the only continent in the world that have successfully demonized their own deities, beliefs and themselves and I dare do say it their very own ancestors even down to your very own Moms, Grannies, Dads and Grandpappies who just recently departed but gladly and openly accept, venerate, champion and enrich another person's identity and beliefs, even if the people they copied or borrowed such religions, ideas and beliefs from no longer has no use for it, further claiming that the living and the dead have nothing in common but crushing on, loving, idolizing and celebrating a figure created in Europe by the European colonizers of the middle easterners to be their hero that will save them from the said Europeans but in reality to keep the middle easterners subdued not to fight them the Europeans, "Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and give to God what belongs to God," "Slaves honor your masters as the church honors Christ her master," these two phrases are basically the same thing, the second phrase boils down to marriage too, "Wives honor your husband as he is the head of the home as the church honors Christ as he is the head of the church" they are still the same thing, unfortunately in this latter, women accept subjugation and misogyny like inheritance because apparently it was "God" that made it so, oh Eve for deceiving your husband and eating the fruit I told you not to eat, even though I'm the one that put that tree there knowing fully well as the all knowing beast... sorry God that I am that you guys are definitely gonna eat it anyways but I still put it there and now me and my buddy Satan who of course takes permission from me to do all he does as evident in the book of Job have successfully deceived humanity whom I created and now I'm gonna watch from my high and mighty throne above as humanity suffers and fuck each other up then when I'm good and satisfied, I can send my kid to y'all for about thirty years of which the first thirty is spent flexing in Egypt, the cradle of civilization and humanity and the remaining three will be spent telling slaves to obey their masters till I get the slave masters to bundle him up and murder him publicly, humiliating him might I add and after a short ass weekend, he wakes up, we make a ton of noise about he saving y'all's asses and a great sacrifice I made for y'all and soon my kid is back home with me leaving y'all to murder and f each other out with a promise that he'll be back soon when I'm good and tired of watching y'all f your selves up... that's how dumb y'all's story sounds! The figure's hypothetical origin is the middle east, he hypothetically died for the world and hypothetically promised to come back to save the world again from the same sins he hypothetically died for earlier, if he's cleansed all sins, why is there still sin? Now that's something to ponder about! You're told to honor your ancestors who are the reason you are alive because they gave birth to you, they gave you Life, and the Universe herself preserves that life till time's up, she preserves through the food that we eat from the soil which she produces, the water we drink which she produces and lots more, the Universe is nature, nature is Nnéụwá our great Mother and she's the preserver of Life, preserver of the life your Ancestors gave you, but when you're told so, you say no! You'll say the living and the dead have nothing in common..."
"Of course!" He choruses, as the others murmur and nod in agreement.
"But you honor an hypothetical character who hypothetically died two thousand plus years ago who I must add isn't even part of your tribe, land or close to you in anyway, not even the same skin color as you but you fail to honor your own Moms and Grandmas, Dads and Grandpappies who are the closest beings, spirits, souls and people to you, you insult them, vilify them and demonize them by calling them demonic, evil and the inherent cause of your problems, such an insult and disgrace to the ones who crawled, walked and suffered so you can fly and soar above the birds, the heavens and the skies."
"Abeg Chizzy, wetin this babe dey yarn sef?" One of the guys inquire from behind.
"I swear, I just dey look am since."
"Nnyà eh, ọnọdụ nọ ná kọ tụ, ná kó tụ nó by says of Tupac, like just talking what she doesn't know!"
"Who our ancestors help? Who Africa help? Africa no fit ever better..." Another guy blurts out.
"You dey mind am? Make I do comot this yeye Africa Abegi!" Another says, a guy.
Asides these few at the back, I turn around and the entire class is staring at me like 'Whoa!'
"After so much progress, you guys are still..." I don't blame them, I recall her Dad is a politician, I smile, they're embittered by the recent rapid development in the new regions which are collectively called the Ótọ́sị Naija.
Many are not surprised though, it's my usual, some are still convinced I'm going to hell and shit or that God will punish me with a plague or something which they make clear in the texts they send me even sharing Bible links or different church links, I always chuckle whilst deleting them all. Some spam texting me 'burn in hell!' My friends like Chi sometimes saying "Girl, you don't like their beliefs, fine! Just respect them, I'm part of them after all remember? And besides, I know you have beliefs too that you want respected right?" And I go sit in a corner and begin to realize why I have only two friends, my Dad and Chi, well like they say, the price for knowledge is loneliness and I'm kinda used to that now.
"...I swear boss, I no sabi o, no be wetin I ask am she dey talk so o," He continues , "Na why I no dey follow Woman talk, dem no dey ever sabi arti..."
"Articulate what?" Chidera thunders from where she was seated, "No, if your ákpá amụ is intact talk that kain rubbish again!"
"Aswear, don't mind him!" Another girl supports.
"Look at him o...!" Girls slowly began attacking him as he raises his hand in a mock apology, smiles all over. He makes to kiss Chidera who dodges his head.
"Babe, I'm sorry na, but see Ngozi was talking nonsense since but you no talk anything," He says as he hurries after her.
"Says who? I was listening, I was paying attention because her brain dey sharp, unlike your empty skull," I laugh alongside everyone else, this was Chidera's jurisdiction, non religious arguments.
"Excuse me seniors," A head pops through the door, small, middle schoolish, seventh gradish, bald, colonized.
"What do you want?" A voice from the back thunders fear into the boy.
Startling, he replies,"Please... Please... Please is... is... is... is this senior Esther's class, the senior prefect?" I felt furious hearing the boy refer to her as the senior prefect, I wondered why, Nkoli in the front sat around like she didn't care.
"Senior what?" Someone from the back objects.
"Ónyé kwụ́lụ that thing?" Another says.
"No... Infact," Yet another guy instructs, snapping at him to approach him, he continues, "Yes, yes, come, come inside first, come inside...! fast!" Few of the boys at the back seat add weight, for him, he approaches with the fear synonymous with that of the fear of death... Not for me of course, I'm awakened. He drops the bag on the nearest locker and heads over to the guys, before he arrives fully, he receives multiple heavy knocks and a hard deafening slap on his cheeks at the same time from various different people, the boys were exhilarated, the girls were pitiful yet silent... I wondered why I too was.
"Shey you dey mad ni? Who be your senior prefect?" One of them asks.
The boy in tears replies, "Se... See.. Senior Es...ther," Before he's done talking, more slaps and knocks descend on the boy.
Bullies! I murmur to myself but I didn't wanna talk because I too supported the notion that he wasn't supposed to be referring to Neche as the SP but I knew I'm supposed to talk... Abegi! Forget, may he collect am joor, Neche no be SP.
Damn, my cognitive dissonance has gotten the better of me... Wouldn't be the first.
"How far na? Guys!" A light skinned girl arises and says. Her beauty was mesmerizing and I couldn't help but... Chidera notions me to focus and I gently shove her off, "This is a junior student, a middle schooler, if this guy go and report now and his parents transfer him from this school now, what will you say?" The charming light skinned nné says concludes.
"Who be this one again?" One of the culprits asks as the boy stands there in the midst of us, crying, confused, defeated. "How that one take concern us if the boy commot? We resemble like say we send him papa?"
"How far be calming down o, na fine girl be this o you dey follow talk," His friend one of the bullies says to him.
"How far Tornado and so? Last last, I go still run the bitch na no fear, all these bitches na money dem dey find..."
"How far which kain talk be that one, see, if your mama na Áshánà e no mean say other girls like us na áshánà o! And no dey call us bitches, mind your mouth o, who be your bitch, I resemble your papa wey be female dog?" The guy, triggered scales over the tables to attack the girl who makes the statement but I get in the way. Chidera quietly proceeds to rest her head, I let her be. I casually walk over to verify she's not sobbing, looking under the table I realize her eyes are simply shut. I rub on her biceps calmly and she raises her head and smiles a forced one, nodding at me. I give her a thumbs up and walk back.
"Ah, ah, Ikubor you forget say I dey here? You wan touch one of my girls?" I say to him as others watch on, the kid in tears is still confused on whether to leave or not and no one was telling him none.
"Bịà way, Ngozi, I go handle you o! I just dey warn you siiiinnnce!" I, clearly scared and frightened but trying my best to be calm and collected, comes a whole lot closer, looks him deep in the eyes as he points at me and replies.
"And I just dey wait you since," I say dropping his hands by his finger.
"Hmmmmm! No wahala na, una dey here o! Ọsụé may e no be like say una no dey o," He says and scales over to his chair, I laugh and look over to Chidera who feighs uninterest, omo eh! Chi sha.
As I turn, Neche gaily makes her way in escorted by her gang, I roll my eyes, great! Another drama group.
"Awwwwwn, my baby, ah, ah, who made you cry na?" She says rushing to the boy as she realizes his presence, "And why's my bag on the floor na? Una eh for this class! Wicked classmates, I know it'll not pass Chidera and..." She turns to us, her favorite targets but I wasn't in the least having it...
"May my name no just comot that your undersized teeth for there o!" I agitate towards her.
"Or what?" Dumebi says, she as if already waiting for me calmly shoves Neche away a bit and begins cracking her knuckles, "Esther call am na may I see wetin the fool wan do." I only smile and shake my head, I knew nothing else to do.
"Foolish set of people," She says eyeing our direction, "Abegi! My love, who beat you na? Is it Chidera and her stupid friends or..." She says turning to eye us up... Again!.
"N...n...n...no... No! SP, it's... It's... the seniors at the back, they slapped... And knock me because I refer to you as... S... P..." The boy begins to cry extremely and Neche hugs him and almost immediately the entire class begins to exclaims because the boy's head is now rested almost comfortably between her two big balls of skin, bigger than her age I must say but alright.
One boy rushes towards the boy, lifts him up and takes him outta the class immediately, slapping him on his head and back he says, "If I catch you for this class again, you go find your two left legs, idiot! C'mon run to your class!" The boy in tears and pain makes a run for it as the boy hits him one last time.
Some girls are pitiful, exclaiming "tụfịákwà" and "God forbid" and "ólé kwá" at him, some, the male centered ones, laugh and encourage him, none including me, arises to do nothing.
"Ah, ah, what's the meaning of that na?" Neche exclaims at the boy.
"How far Esther you wan may the boy spoil? Something wey you suppose give men dem for here wey we dey you carry am go dey give small, small pikins wey no merit am, how far na?" The boy says with pride over the approvals of the guys at the back and I slap my head at the realization.
"Boys are stupid!" I say.
"Na today you know? Always sexualizing the opposite gender, ordinary hug o, Fịà kwá ndị á," Chidera concurs snapping her fingers at them with disgust.
"Ok, I see the case here, you want breast? No problem, come and meet me by that area na so that we can..." She winks at him and he licks his lips while rubbing his palms together, his friends smile and hands him numerous thumbs ups and hypes in form of cheers, claps and slappy handshakes, typical boys!
"Shey na him just come last month?" Someone behind us asks.
"Yes o, the foolish nigga, he just arrived" I reply.
"No wonder, he doesn't know anything, he was not informed," Chidera says and we all around laugh.
Neche leaves and her crew take their seat, I keep staring at the new fair overriped pawpaw till she realizes and waves back at me with a charming smile and my heart skips... "If you keep staring like a creep it won't be long before the school blog and papers has your name on it as the newest fag in town and you know Ebuka ná sụ pụ Ìgbo, he's always watching," Chidera advices me and I, realizing she's correct, heeds.
I excuse myself and head over to the new girl's seat, she's seated next to Ifeoma, I greet my girl, "Ify how far na? Ify sweet m!" She pecks me and I smile unintelligently.
She smiles at me, "Good morning o my love, how far?"
"I dey o, who's this your new friend?" I ask staring into the new girl's eyes briefly.
"She's Samantha, my best friend since childhood, she just arrived from Benin city..."
"That's practically another country, girl, you're multinational, intercontinental" She smiles.
"Resti ah! It's across the bridge here, I fit leg am."
"Ifeoma, jealousy! It's still another country, the Western nation, ndị Yoruba, it's Oduduwa republic, Ódịdá, it's another country, ọbọdọ ọchịchị odịdá ányánwụ, we're in Biafra, ọbọdọ ọchịchị ndị ọwụwa ányánwụ, ọbọdọ ányánwụ n'etị, ányị bụ ndị ọbọdọ nábọ nọ́ na ndịda, the South, Arewa nó ná ụgwụ, the North, so big and vast, as usual, ụgwụ Hausa, ok?"
"I wonder why that former Delta and Edo state regions fell under Oduduwa, Yoruba nation, I actually used to see them as predominantly Ìgbo, just kidding though... but at least, just Delta, clearly Edo I used to see as Yoruba affiliated somehow, however they're not though... well at least that's what my mom says."
"I like the way the borders are sha, the eastern people in the other regions especially in Delta came back to ọbọdọ Biafra, the westerners went back to their lands to develop their lands as we are doing so, the regions from the North that Biafra got were used to place those easterners who just arrived, same went for the westerners in their lands and the land they got from the North, you know the rest, I like this divide, everyone is happy, there's unity amongst the regions now that no one is any one's enemy or one has to share states with their enemy and plus in as much as the North lost some land, they got undisputed access to the oceans through the new canal being built and the oil deal, plus they're still larger than the rest of the regions in land and population, it's a win, win, triple win for everyone."
"Abi?" Ebube says... Clearly confused but doesn't show it.
A guy passes by and chuckles, "Girls dey discuss politics? Omo!"
"Omo na so we see am oh! All hands on deck for economic, continental, global and productive unity and all," I reply and continue with them.
"Free Palestine!" Chidera shouts from across the class.
"Werey! Palestine is long free now, a country and prosperous, Gaza is a country also but an autonomous region of Palestine, Iran is prosperous as always and finally, thanks to the ladies who had eventually gotten courage to fight for their rights are now moving Iran to a better future, Persia to the world I guess,"
"You know the people you go at the top of your voice loud and proud screaming for, "Free, free Palestine, Gaza is for life, hail Mpáléstịnà, Mpéjịá gáá dị gị dé, they are the top haters of the LGBTQ community whom I suppose you support," I nod, shit! She's now gonna find my faults, wipe it up my ass and wipe it round my face, Will, I don't go down without a fight, "They marginalize the fuck outta our ladies even today that they're actively agitating for their rights seriously because of course, as every drug has an expiration date, so as every propaganda and lies has its diminishing point, and most importantly they for some reason seem to hate blacks and they were one of the champions of the Arab slave trade that no one seems to ever talk about." The girl seated next to our SP calls out to us, Uchechi Nnorom.
"Girl, I know but don't you think we should not repay evil with evil?" I ask in a bid to defend myself, I know for every plot that I have lost the battle and the war without even lifting a sword and I hated nothing more than losing a fight, an argument or anything. I regretted that shit the moment it left my mouth cos I knew the answer she would give will be...
"Then we should apply same tactics to the Europeans then, if we are to forgive the Arabs for their colonialism and atrocities in our lands then we are to also forgive all other people, one thing is for sure, absolute hate or absolute forgiveness..."
"Gbàm!" SP adds over her book, for all I knew, she was just voicing out the opinions SP had handed her, Nkoli was that shy.
"Tụfịákwà! Mmụà? Me? Forgive the Europeans after all they did to us? You dey read books? You sabi Oba Ovonramwen Nogbaisi? All our artifacts that were stolen nkó? Our ladies that were raped in masses, c'mon na Uche, Uche how far, na fuck up o!" I exclaim.
"Not saying anyone is better but the Arabs actually did worse according to accounts of history and theirs lasted longer and they made sure they hid it effectively but the Europeans didn't even try to cover up their atrocities, not like any were remorseful, the Arabs actually feared retributive justice which was why they made to cover their tracks, they didn't conquer to plunder, they conquer to erase and rewrite like the Romans, the ancient Europeans, now ask a guy in North Africa and across subSaharan, parts of the North of the Western Africa and somewhat East, nearing West their history and they'll call Islam, what were you before Islam? Ókó bá lụ gị story ná éméró. My point is that in as much as the Europeans strived to make us forget, luckily for all, they didn't do a thorough job."
"Uche..."
"Ngozi wait, Ngozi wait! But the Arabs actually did a thorough job making them forget, erasing their real identity and successfully blending the ones they couldn't permanently eliminate with their own culture, their religion, it's their culture, doing this they now create an illusion to the next generation coming after the ones they conquered, that's the conquered ones them, their children, ehen, they now believe that how they met it is how it has always been, you get?"
"With ụché," I say.
She replies, "I'm telling you nwánné m nwáànyị, with ụché!" I sit arms folded listening, looking for what I can learn from all she's yapping about, just like I expect others to when I'm extensively yapping too.
"Like, imagine my aunty, Nné m ózó," Uche says, "She actually believes that North Africa has always been light skinned, that North Africa is white," I hiss shaking my head, she's right because even my grandma believes that shit.
"Má my grandma sef, Nné m nnụkwụ, Omo, the Arabs played history well o I dey tell you..."
"Like even in Naija that time, my Mom would always say," she continues, "Ask them their history, Ásị gị, traders came and with time influenced our customs, soon we converted, they were peaceful, then ónyé ịsị óchè Usman Dan Fodio came along, jihad and yada, yada, yada, here we are, you'll now ask, what happened before the Arabian traders nwà nụ came along, what was the practice of the day, what were the customs and traditions? Ásị gị, we don't know, abi, we didn't write it down, who were you before Islam? We don't know, well kudos to them," I smile.
"But at least, they're researching na, they're finding out, piece by piece, it may take a while..." Chi says from afar, I almost forgot she was still in the class, "E go sha tey, but surely surely, from North Africa, Tunisia, Western Sahara to the entirety of the North of West and Central Africa, from the Guinea to the Central African Republic, they'll remember."
"Isééééé!" I reply. Chi wasn't usually enthusiastic about stuff like this, till she met me.
"Amen," She says.
"Ngozi, Uche's right!" Someone springs up his chair from like outta nowhere, "We must stop cherry picking stupidity," Sochima Onyebinama our chubby, average height, smart deputy electricity prefect adds.
"Who be this one again?" Ebube whispers.
I murmur back, "I wonder o," Ebube and Ifeoma whisper something to themselves and both laugh hysterically.
"Nkoli, your man..." Ify whispers tugging at my skirt, I glance at her.
"How far Ifeoma if na play stop am o!" I para at her and they both laugh some more.
"How far this girl are you gay sef?" Ebube asks and Ify whispers something to her again, "Ohhhh, sorry, you are?" Ify muffles laughs as Ebube struggles to keep a straight face.
"Samantha o, it's not what I told you oooo," Ifeoma replies making to rest her head.
"Abeg rest joor, if I am, what's that to you guys? Abegi, so Sochi, what were you saying?"
"...I'm telling... Eh Ngozi how far?"
"Wetin you been dey yarn since?"
"Ok, I said that we should stop cherry picking who to forgive and who not to forgive, it's either we forgive all or none at all." He says rearranging himself on the chair only him is seated on to get comfortable again.
"Gbàm!" SP says again.
"Omo, Sochima, I love you, I swear..." The class begins to make a raucous which causes Uche to blush and hide her face immediately as she was turning red despite her chocolate skin.
"How far, Sochi dey blush, Sochi dey blush, Sochi dey blush," One of the guys behind calls out and the whole class laughs again causing Sochima to hide his face like Uche.
"True true, our class mates dey mad," One of the guys behind say. I turn and see that his babe is resting her head on his laps and he was massaging her gently, head and shoulders... Omo, love good o.
"I dey tells you," I reply. I eager to continue calls out to Sochi.
"Nné..."
"I'm a guy!"
"That one concern you, Nné, it's not like you're wrong, infact you're absolutely one hundred percent correct, but as you see me so, I have already typed on so many social media platforms, 'Igbo nation for Palestine,' 'free Palestine' and all those things. Look, you're right, we shouldn't be cherry picking, no one hates cherry picking more than I do, Chidera na lie I talk?"
"Noooooo babe," She replies over her phone, she's with her sixty thousand mAh battery powerbank, Ụnó'kụ.
"Ehen, you see? So what I'm just saying is that in Africa and as Africans we should and will no longer allow them or no at all to tell us what to do, what to believe, who to love, what to love, who will lead us, how to be led and stuffs and most importantly, we will not allow no one any longer to tell us our own stories, our own mythologies, our own tales, our own ancestries, our own heroes and what not. We will no longer allow outsiders, bleached skinned niggas and negras and mulattoes to be the representatives of our Africa from the North to South and from the East to West, we will no longer allow a white person in tone or color to be the representation of an African person, a real African, it's black or nothing, we will no longer tolerate whites calling themselves mixed or mulattoes to be able to be in our communities and regions home or abroad! And we'll definitely not celebrate such, especially if they compliment or admire our cultures and traditions, we don't care, we no send, fuck them all. We will no longer be subject to their identities, to their validations, neither will we be subject to the belief that our personalities, our beings, our natural hairs, our skin colors dark as the night and as brown as the sands of the Sahara, We will no longer call our customs, traditions, cultures, our methods, our ways, our identity, our skin, our beliefs, our ancestors, our nature spirits whom we call Gods, our Mother the Universe, Nnéụwá and her children the elements of the universe, We say we will no longer be subject to their propaganda machines, to their movies and books depicting us as backwards and uncivilized and them, their ways, their culture , their identities, their Gods, their history as the criteria for success and being civilized and forward, We will no longer be subject to their religions depicting them as the forwards, to their Gods, religions and laws depicting us and our ways as savage, barbaric and uncivilized, unworthy and a minority race, and they themselves as the chosen race, the good and civilized people, the model for success, We will not! We will no longer be subject to their religions and its marginalizing rules that don't apply to they themselves that created it, We will no longer be subject to their Gods whom they claim are supreme above all, to their history which they shove down our throats and up our asses and then make us claim it as our history calling our actual history demonic and backwards and making us spend millions of our time and hard earned wealth to go on Prigimmages to their so called holy lands meanwhile vilifying and demonizing our own ancestral holy lands in our villages, towns and cities back home, convincing us to go on to bath in their waters but calling our own waters, our rivers and streams evil and demonic, we will no longer be subject to anything backwards and foreign, we will no longer be subject to their opinions and validations, Sochima, you may be right but I am also right, Sochima fuck their Gods and their Religions, fuck their beliefs and their identity, Sochima, I am Ngozichi Nkolika Ozioma, my Dad gave me this name and my Mom gave me life, I rebuke their Abrahamic Gods and Religions and all Religions at all, I honor my Ancestors and the Universe, my mother, the preservers of my life and I honor my mom Ozioma, the divine feminine, the giver of my life..."
"Mass comm! The journalist!" Chidera hypes me up, I can't help but blush.
"Chicken!"
Chi just gave me a nickname...
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold the fuck up, not minding all you just said because I don't understand one bit where all these your cho cho cho is coming from, you know Jesus is our personal lord and..." Sochima interrupts.
"Man fuck Jesus! That mulatto ain't shit, he's probably yours not mine, fuck the mulatto," Sochima submits by raising his two hands, "You don tire?"
"I don dey comot so when Jehovah go send thunder strike you..."
"Make you and Jehovah sha rest bịkọ kwá, who Jehovah help sef?" Sochima smiles nodding his head as if sure that thunder was gonna strike me any minute now. I look to Chidera who tells me to calm down and quickly performs the sign of the cross... Morbid!
"Ah ah Ngozi, what Sochi was simply trying to ask before you decided to yarn all that rubbish wey I no understand is you claim that you're not susceptible to propaganda but you also claim that no one is unsusceptible to propaganda, you also come now and claim that you support the Palestinians clearly knowing that one, you have neither been to Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Gaza City nor Damascus so all you and I both know about the middle east is either Arabian, Israeli, American or European propaganda which all of us young and old have swallowed up whole because we're people at the end of the day and we can be willfully stupid..."
"Babes, Uche, that's what I'm saying, it can either be all lies or all truths ok? Choose your poison and swallow it whole, that's what I did and that's what you should do too, look, that's the way life goes, their propaganda machine has touched me and I chose to side with those who have played the victim better coupled with my research and all and you, you chose to side with the villains... The ones I call the villains of course, ok lemme guess, you're an African but your religious book features Israel so you are supporting Israel because of what's in your book... Issorite!"
"How did you want it to be before? And my grandpa is supporting Israel, with my Aunt and Mom, soooo..." Sochima says, I hiss in reply.
"You're not serious this girl," I say, "As an African, no one gets to tell me who to believe or who to forgive... But Uche, you're right, I think none of them deserves our forgiveness, all for one and one for all, even I Ngozichi have fallen yakataaaa to their propaganda machine, but it's well, I have written on the internet, Ìgbo nation for Palestine... In due course, knowing fully well that the internet never forgets, I'll see how I'll defend my self if need be, we learn everyday, we live and we learn, it's well, I have made my mistake, I have lost this plot, never will I support Israel and now remembering that Palestine and Gaza, Ọbọdọịké, are not innocent, neither do they plan on being, as I get home I'll rethink my beliefs, shey I don lose? Omo!"
"You're just cherry picking stupidity!" Uche hisses and sits down properly. I see that Chidera was looking at me and giving me a thumbs up, I smile as she smiles, for once, she finally puts off the phone.
"See," Nonso Elechiukwu, the library president abi student librarian or whatever says as she comes in. I was actually fighting myself to not dislike her for no reason, it would be a fool hardy thing to do hating on her because she got the post I so badly wanted. And get this, she doesn't even like the post, since when she got the position she has not stepped a foot in the library, I have never seen her there once, "I have been by the window listening to you guys banter and to me, you guys are actually just hypocriting on your words, especially you Ngozi, because you claim to quote unquote love the Motherland but you go around supporting countries that have never treated Africa right but you claim to love Africa," I eye her steadily, I wanted to talk but she was right.
"Our people head over to the Arab world and to Záyónụ and it's either they are treated like thieves or criminals in Israel abi Záyónụ or they're treated like they don't exist at all in Mpéjịá but you people are so happy to be proud of yourselves claiming without shame that you have accepted their propaganda and you're picking sides because of your grandparents, families, religious and cultural sentiments instead of not picking sides at all because these people you're either supporting one or the other don't give a shit about you, it's disgraceful that we forget that these niggas that we follow and hype up and do their ways, beliefs and ideosyncracies don't even like us but we still enter the same prayer houses with them, Dr Umar asked why we would enter the same prayer houses with niggas that don't even like us, the honorable Marcus Garvey said, put RACE first! RACE! Dr Umar further stated, nobody is gonnaaa be blind to your race because you share a religion with them, and now I state, nobody is gonna be blind to your skin color, your identity because you share the same belief system or ideosyncracies or whatnot as them, NOBODY! Which is why one of our revolutionary voices states that there shouldn't be any form of grouping because we don't share the same direct ancestry, she stated that unless we shared the same direct and immediate ancestry there was no reason to be grouping to honor the Ancestors and the Universe, Ngházịmmụọ Ánịnné, our African Spiritualities are very personal relationshis with our ancestors and the collective universe and something which is supposed to be personal should have no form of grouping of any kind, which is why Nwáónyénnédịnsó Nwakaumu..." As she's still talking, her phone rings and she excuses herself to go take it. Doris is her foreign name, her colonized name is Doris but I was never gonna call her that, though it's a Greek name which means Gift, bounty or a Dorian lady as in a Lady from Doria, Greece, beautiful name, sweet in the mouth, I don't do foreign names frankly, which is why my fam didn't give me one and I'm proud of it. Doris is cute, like really cute, she's really very cute. With her big brains and admittingly sexy body... I'm getting ahead of myself. She's short and a bit feisty, I'm actually taller than her, she always said things as they were and it was particularly hard to read her mind which is why I always threaded with caution around her. Did I mention she is smart as fuck?
I turn and realize that the class is now oddly empty, just me, Sochi, SP was on her biology textbook, the hypersexual couple behind us had left, Sam and Ify were resting their head and Chi had crossed her leg at the corner on her phone with her back against the wall, her full lips a bit chapped and looking whitish thanks to the harmattan which was not affecting me because I had the habit of licking my lips every nine seconds, she doesn't use lip gloss or any shit on her lips, I don't too, she evolved that from me, as ravishing as ever, they looked calling, her small pretty eyes surveying the class over her phone from time to time. The tips of paper and her ATM card she had in there was sticking out the back of her transparent orange looking pouch, I yearn, I itch to go stick them back inside properly, keeping the stuffs in order but no, I'm here, Uche, Sochi and I were conversing, I successfully take my mind off it in a while.
"Oya, see Uche, Yasser Arafat of Palestine fully supported Nelson Mandela, the hero of unapartheidization in Ódịdá álá Àfrịkà... You sabi Yasser Arafat na?"
"Ah, ah, sure why not? I dey read books na."
"Ehem, you be better person!" Sochi makes to speak, "How far Sochi baby, you sabi Arafat?"
"Arafat? Yasser Arafat?" I nod.
"Of Mpáléstịnà naaa."
He shakes his head, "I no know but I go research am when I reach house."
"Why you no carry phone come school this nigga?" I ask.
"Omo, I forget o," I hiss.
SP whispers something into Uche's ear nd Uche springs up, like someone stabbed in the butt cheeks by a lady soldier any ágbịsị, "Israel supported Biafra in the war for independence from 1967 to 1970," I smile and Sochi springs up as if having discovered a brand new idea.
"My Mom told me my Grandpa died in that war," Ebube murmurs. I look at her pitifully, my grandma Ifeyinwa's husband Okonadike died in that war, hale and hearty, soldier till the end. Died for the cause he knew was just and right, I know he's gonna reincarnate to success, isééééé.
"The Jews in the US..." Sochi calls out. "The American Jews... They supported the blacks in the States during the 50s and 60s civil rights movement," I was utterly shocked that Sochi of all people would know about that piece of information, but yet, I kept my calm.
Cool and collected, I smile, they were right. I pull my last card on the matter, not that they had defeated me in this banter, not that they have had their word over me no, no, no, I simply just think I am becoming disillusioned with the banter, "You're right, but like I said, no one gets to tell me who to support..." Uche hisses and leaves the class, SP who had stepped out a little while ago was actually by the window trying to catch a last glimpse of my words, hearing this, she hisses and departs shaking her head in the process.
"Bịà this girl," Sochi says arising, "You're not ready to be serious!" He comes closer to me pointing at me directly, "Go and critically and consciously analyze the Arab slave trade, the reason why it took so long for us to find out is because the Ladies were haramized and the guy slaves were castrated so they won't help their Ladies and their Lady sisters den, their Lady girls them create any descendants to live to tell the tale," I blink repeatedly at him. He continues either way, "At least the Europeans and Americans at least allowed our captured relatives down there to reproduce even though at the end it was all for property accumulation, property rights gịnị nwà, gịnị nwà..."
I nod continuously, he was making sense but I wasn't gonna go down without a fight, "So are you saying that the West are some sort of better or good people?"
"Tụfịákwà! Nné, I'm not saying that anyone of them is better than any other of themselves, all civilizations minus none, sha the Asians sha... Hmmm, I'll still research on them, all of them, all minus none committed atrocities against the Motherland, Africa is the Motherland," He stands upright as I sit comfortably looking him eyeball to eyeball, he continues, "It's folly to cherry pick their crimes, to cherry pick whom we're to support and who not, it's either we forgive all or none at all and if you ask me, I'll say none of them at all."
I smile as I nod, "Me too though, me too..." I arise to stretch my body abit, I glance at Chi who's now taking a video showing off her beauty, probably and obviously to post on her status, with her phone in the air as if trying to catch the perfect angle, pouting, she glances at me, I smile and she pouts a kiss at me, "Ok, Sochi, I have heard you, you don win this one, I go reason wetin you yarn..."
He chuckles, "Nooo, no reason am..." He replies with every hint of sarcasm.
"Rest abegi!" I say hitting him on his biceps, he laughs as he shields himself, "Oya na my friend, I don hear, you're right but the internet never forgets sha."
"Na true sha but as long as you know you posted such things or said such in ignorance, by then you'll know what to say or do to correct your ills when the time ever comes, or when the right time comes... You know, that kain thing."
I stretch in conclusion, "Oya na my friend," I extend my hands for a handshake which he reciprocates.
"Nsọgbụ ádịrọ Nné m, we're together, I gotchu, I gotchu."
"No p." I respond as he steps out, his exit brings about the realization of silence. I sit down and begin to consider all I have just learnt.
Sensing the silence, Ifeoma raises her head as if to bring her and Ebube's conversation to lime light, "... Anyways... Because I don't even understand this your political talk sef, Samantha you say you started watching News when?"
"Omo, it's my mommy o, when I'm bored like this, I'll just usually join her, she says it's interesting and more peaceful and assimilatable now that there isn't much violence and conflict and it's all thanks to the advent of more women bring in charge, the world is pushing for better, peaceful and long lasting solutions to age old and modern problems."
"Nooo, she's correct, I love that, it's true," I say.
Ifeoma chuckles, "Ok o, anyways, I didn't even know she was coming sef, she just surprised me and now, her and her family are officially ndịBuchi like me, she's living near the school here sef, so I'll stop coming to your house because..." She says to me clearly changing the topic I enjoy so much, how annoying!
"Ehyaaa! I'll miss you!" I reply with every hint of sarcasm I have. We both squint at each other till she proceeds to bite the ever living fuck out of me, "Ify! Ify! Ify! Ouuuuuuhuuuchi! Ifyyyy naaaaaa! Don't you know your teeth is painful?" I hold and massage my upper left arm as she smirks.
She squints, "I know!" She does it in such a demure way that one couldn't help but love how awfully delightful it was, delightfully painful too. No saliva, no force... just demure!
"So Sam, Samantha, Anthabelle, I can call you Sam abi or do you have a native name?" She raises her brows at me and replies.
"Oluebube," she says with a smile, "You nkó?"
"Oluebube, Ebube, pretty name for a pretty girl, nice, I'm Ngozichi Nkolika Ozioma but you can call me whatever you want to call me," She looks at Ifeoma who looks back at her.
"Ify, why did they give SP to who used to do anyhow?" Ifeoma laughs.
"Oh chị m, Samantha oooo, you'll not kill me o, she's not the SP, the SP is that one in the front pretending as if she's the only one that knows book in the world," We look towards Nkoli casually gisting with two of her friends, "This werey by our side is Nkoli your deputy class, CLAAASSIIII, class president, that's Nkoli SP, the senior prefect, Ogheneruno, our supreme leader, this Nkoli abi Ngozi by our side is Ngozi dustbin prefect!" Ebube laughs and I look to Ifeoma eyeing her.
"Ifeoma what's the meaning of that one na?" I query with feigned annoyance.
"Ifeoma see you have vex her now, you know you have bad mouth, after you will say that I have bad mouth," She turns to me,"Nné, don't mind Precious you hear? She's just being stupid!... As usual!" She says with a laugh, she's trying to spite Ify, it works.
"Ehen? Samantha, me? Foolish abi? Ị̀sị nó ná dị m stupid?" She squints her eyes abit, "Noooo prooobleeem," she arises abruptly, "Excuse me!" She shoves her off as she makes to leave.
"Ah ah, Ifeoma sorry na? Precious, my love, sorry na?" She makes to scale over us but she remembers she's on a skirt. "Ohhhh, this stupid gown sef abi na skirt..." She looks around, not seeing what to do, she pinches on Ebube's nose and proceeds to bite on her hard, right on the chest.
"Shey you be no wan go somewhere?" I ask.
She hisses a change of mind, "Forget, no need, I'll hold it," She continues her activity.
"Ifeoma! Ifeoma! Ifeoma! Sorry na?" As she releases, Ebube's skin is pure red, it seems the mark left by Ify is indelible, no saliva , all red, Ebube cries out mildly and kiddishly, "I'll tell momsie for you, see you have left this mark on me na... Precious, don't you know your teeth is painful?"
Ifeoma sticks her tongue out at her and replies, "mméééé o? Go and tell mummy, my own or your own self, mmééé! Shey you miss this style? This style you used to love," She says with a wink as Sam chuckles amidst the pain, "Next time you'll not insult me again in your life hope you're hearing me? Or maybe I'll know if I'll change style," Ebube laughs pleadingly and nodding her head still in pain and few tear droppings, replies.
"Yes mummy," Ifeoma then proceeds to pinch her.
"Who's your mummy?"
"You're my mummy na!" Ebube replies wincing in playful pain.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes ma, yes mummy, I go lie for you again?" She replies and we laugh.
"Ọ́ mmụ kà ịná sụlụ pidgin?" Ifeoma asks again, Is it me that you're speaking pidgin for?"
"Yes ma... No ma, I mean sorry ma!" After a final pinch, she lets go. I laugh all the way, I turn to Ebube.
"Ebube?"
"Please call me Samantha... or Sam," she says to me.
"Hell no girl, I'm an Ìgbo enthusiast, a cultural enthusiast, you're Ìgbo, I'm Ìgbo, you're cultural, I'm cultural, and I'm gonna call you Oluebube as it pleases me," I reply arising.
She rolls her eyes, "That one concern you na, you'll see who'll answer you," she turns to Ifeoma and laughs to whatever Ify was babbling about.
"Thank you!" She rolls her eyes again and I grab her face and peck her cheeks as she smiles... I open my eyes and see both of them still gisting, laughing and smiling, Ifeoma pinches her again and I arise and leave.
I reach out to greet Annabelle three rows up ahead when I almost bump into Neche who once again wasn't looking where she was headed, she gives me a long cold stare like it's my fault or something, "What?" She startles me.
"No... Nothing..." She hisses and walks away gaily, I make to reply her but seeing the teacher enter calm and collectedly and the rest dispersing to their seats and various classes, I too do same but not without glancing the direction of Neche on the last row, twice after Ify and Ebube's, she had her gaze on me still, realizing I had caught her she turns to focus on Nneka and I sit down thoughtfully as the class begins in earnest.