The day after the royal summons arrived, FaeLina created what she called a "tournament war room." In reality, it was only a corner of the main lobby where she'd had me conjure a large, slate chalkboard. By the time I had fully woken up from a much-needed stress nap, it was already covered in her frantic, tiny, sparkling handwriting.
She was flying in tight, anxious circles in front of it and her wings was buzzing like a trapped hornet.
"Okay, 'Most Innovative Adventurer Experience'," she said, tapping the chalkboard with a tiny piece of chalk. "It's a brand new category this year, which means there are no past winners to study.
There's no rulebook for this! We're just guessing! I've been looking at the winners of the other events to see what kind of things the judges like."
She pointed to a scribble on the board. "Last year, the 'Singing Crystal Caverns' won the 'Chamber of Terror' event. Their final boss was a ten-foot-tall opera-singing rock golem—apparently, the judges found its singing so awful it was 'genuinely terrifying.'
My point is, they loved the creativity! We basically need a good gimmick, Mochi! Something very flashy!"
'An opera-singing golem,' I thought, a feeling of deep horror washing over me. 'That sounds incredibly loud and it is the literal opposite of a nap.'
"Right, I've also got some good ideas," FaeLina continued, clearly not sensing my lack of enthusiasm. "Idea one: The 'Relaxation Gauntlet'! It's like a timed event, just like a real gauntlet, but instead of avoiding spike traps and fireballs, the adventurers have to complete a series of relaxing tasks!"
She began to pace faster, warming to her theme. "They'll have to fold a basket of magically warmed laundry! Then, they'll have to solve a simple but satisfying puzzle box! The final challenge will be successfully assembling a piece of flat-pack elven furniture using only the confusing picture-based instructions! The one who looks the most relaxed at the end wins!"
That just sounds like Sunday afternoon chores,' I projected, my mental voice was flat and unimpressed.
"Okay, fine! Tough crowd," she huffed, erasing the board with a frantic swipe. "Idea two: a 'therapeutic boss battle'! We'll put Sir Crumplebuns in the middle of a room. The adventurers get oversized pillows as weapons! The first one to successfully hug him into submission wins! It's interactive, it's funny, and it's on-brand!"
'The 'Code Snuggle' protocol is a serious defensive measure for subduing assassins,' I replied sternly. 'It is not a spectator sport.'
FaeLina threw her piece of chalk on the ground. "Well, I'm out of ideas! You're the one who built this weird nap-dungeon, you think of something!"
She was just overthinking it. We were both overthinking it. We were trying to design an experience for adventurers, but we were forgetting to ask the most important people what they actually liked.
I sent out a quiet, mental summons.
A few minutes later, I had gathered my 'expert panel' in the lobby: Zazu, Pip, Kaelen and Even the nosy content creator Dungeon-Dive Dave, wandered over as well, his Scry-Crystal is already recording.
'We need your help,' I projected to them. 'We have to compete in the Dungeon League Tournament. Our only hope is to win is the new category: 'Most Innovative Adventurer Experience.' So, my question is simple. What is the best part of this dungeon?'
The group was silent for a moment, thinking.
Pip was the first to speak, clutching Clank's little metal hand. "Clank," he said softly, giving the robot's hand a small squeeze. "Having him around. I... I don't feel as nervous all the time. He's always ticking, so I know I'm not alone. It makes the dungeon feel... safe."
Zazu, who had been meditating on a cushion, opened his eyes. "The quietness," he said, his voice calm. "And the dreams. The way you can truly rest here and wake up feeling... whole again. It's a magic I've never found anywhere else."
Kaelen, who was standing by the Tea Nook, considered the question for a long time. Finally, she gave a simple, one-word answer. "...The tea."
Dave, ever the professional, summed it all up for his viewers. "It's the authenticity! The genuine sense of peace. You can't fake that. This place isn't just a collection of features; it's a feeling."
'Ok, Safety. Quiet. Healing dreams, Authenticity and Tea'.
It all clicked into place in my mind. FaeLina was trying to invent a flashy, new gimmick. But the best part of my dungeon wasn't a gimmick at all. It was the dungeon itself.
With a wave of my will, I magically wiped FaeLina's frantic scribbles from the chalkboard.
'We will not build a new event,' I projected, a newfound sense of clarity washing over me. 'We will not create a gauntlet or a boss fight. We will give them the genuine, uncut, six-star Comfy Corner experience. But we will distill it to its purest, most potent form.'
I paused, letting them all absorb my words. FaeLina, Gilda, Dave, my residents...
they all stared, waiting for the grand plan.
'Our entry for the Dungeon League Tournament will be this: a single, perfect room. In the center of that room will be a single, perfect bed. The goal for the champion adventurer is not to escape, or to fight, or to solve a puzzle.'
I revealed my final, brilliant, and utterly insane idea.
'Their goal,' I declared, 'Is to have the best nap of their entire life.'