Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
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CHAPTER 12: The Trial of the Blasphemous Riff Lord
Scene: The Grand Courtroom of Val'Haran — Known for its velvet drapes, ridiculous wigs, and laws written on floating crystals. Audience members are eating roasted nuts and waiting for drama.
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Judge Magnifico: (slamming gavel)
> "Order! Order in the court! We shall now proceed with the trial of the accused: one Raiko, also known as 'The Blasphemous Riff Lord', charged with inducing a sonic riot, attempting to summon infernal spirits with so-called 'metal,' and terrifying a nobleman's cat into a coma."
Raiko: (chained, wearing ripped clothes and eyeliner)
> "Objection, your honor! That cat was already messed up! I just gave it a soundtrack!"
Spectator: (from crowd)
> "He did scream pretty loud…"
Judge Magnifico:
> "Silence! Do we have any representative brave enough to speak for this noise criminal?"
Doors slam open dramatically. A light shines behind two figures.
Yu-Riella: (bowing)
> "We come to speak on his behalf."
Noona: (walking forward calmly, her heels clicking like thunder)
> "...I am his wife."
(Whispers in the courtroom. Someone drops a goblet.)
Prosecutor Pompadorus: (adjusts monocle)
> "Oh-ho! A bold beauty enters the fray! Tell us then, Lady Unknown, why should we not launch this man into a swamp full of sound-sensitive banshees?"
Noona: (softly, folding arms)
> "Because while all of you were polishing your fake halos, this man was working to survive. He fought monsters, picked herbs, played music… and still said my cooking was good."
(A collective "aww" from some audience members.)
Noona:
> "He may not know the laws of your land. He may scream his feelings instead of speaking. But he's mine. And if you think he's evil just because of some music..."
(Pause. Tone shifts.)
> "Then you might want to take a long look at your powdered faces and ask who's really hiding demons."
Spectator: (quietly)
> "Damn."
Prosecutor Pompadorus: (stammering)
> "O-Objection! T-that's irrelevant slander!"
Noona: (eyes sharp)
> "What's irrelevant is your breath smelling like rotten scrolls and your wig being the only thing holding your thoughts together."
(Crowd gasps. Someone shouts "She roasted him!")
Judge Magnifico: (shaking)
> "M-madam! This is a court of law!"
Noona:
> "Then start acting like one. He didn't summon demons. He summoned truth."
Raiko is now trying not to cry in the background.
Raiko: (sniffles)
> "That's my noona..."
Spectator: (chanting softly)
> "Noona! Noona! Noona!"
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[Surprise Witnesses Enter]
Daryl the Baker: (bursting in dramatically, holding a burnt loaf):
> "Your honor, Raiko may be loud, weird, and allergic to shirts, but he once carried a bag of flour for me across town… and only screamed at two people on the way!"
Hilda the Bar Wench: (arms crossed, unimpressed):
> "He broke four mugs and melted my broom handle. But he also plays music that makes sad people punch walls less. That's gotta count for something."
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[Prosecutor Presents "Evidence"]
Prosecutor Pompadorus: (slapping down scrolls):
> "We have written testimony from a traumatized goat stating he was forced to hear 'double-bass tremor growls'!"
Raiko: (confused):
> "That goat watched me practice… it nodded with the beat!"
Court Goat (surprise witness):
> [Bleats rhythmically in sync with Raiko's air guitar]
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[Raiko Tries to Defend Himself]
Raiko (trying to help his case):
> "Also, when I screamed in D minor, a bush caught fire. That's gotta mean something."
Judge Magnifico:
> "That sounds worse."
Raiko:
> "But it was a cool fire?"
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[More Noona Roasts]
Prosecutor: "But madam, his very presence causes unease, dread, and mild earthquakes!"
Noona: "So does a tax collector. Are you going to execute them too?"
Crowd: "OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!"
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Scribby the Orb: (projecting verdict)
> "Calculating emotion... compassion detected... fear detected... horniness detected... Verdict: NOT GUILTY. Release the riff lord!"
Crowd: (erupts in applause)
Raiko: (ripping chains off)
> "FREEDOM NEVER SCREAMED SO LOUD!!"
Noona: (dusting off her coat)
> "Let's get out of here before they ask you to play an encore."
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[Final Chaos]
Royal Bard: (taking notes nervously):
> "Excuse me, sir… would you consider composing for the King's birthday?"
Raiko:
> "Only if he likes corpsepaint and chicken-summoning solos."
Noona:
> "He doesn't."
Yu-Riella (appearing from the crowd, fan merch already printed):
> "BUT I DO! I'm already making T-shirts! 'RAIKO RIFFED, THE COURT FLIPPED!'"
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[TO BE CONTINUED]
— Author's Note —
This is why you don't judge a man by his eyeliner and amplifier. Unless his amplifier hums back. Then maybe… give him a trial.
– H. Behevras
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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.