Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
---
Side Story pt. 2: The Temple of Tapazul and the Muscle Prince Propaganda
---
The Temple of Tapazul's inner halls were a nightmare of pretentious sparkle.
Marble floors gleamed like a noble's overpolished ego.
Floating candles cast judgmental flickers.
Paintings glowed like holy merch drops, each screaming "I'm divine, worship me!"
An angel choir hummed from the chandeliers, suspiciously sounding like a lute cover of "Baby, One More Strum," the Human Kingdom's latest pop hit.
---
Raiko clutched his guitar, tattered cloak fluttering like a failed band banner. "This place reeks of lawsuits and bad taste."
Noona, parasol twirling and tea in hand, smirked. "It's an art gallery. Of course it's trying too hard."
The floating orb—Raiko's dubbed "Critic Orb"—hovered ahead, its eyeliner glinting with divine snobbery.
"Your stickman graffiti defiled our sacred gates," it droned, voice like a bard bot stuck on repeat.
"The Gallery of Divine Passion will test your soul's purity for the Brush of Infinite Vibes.
Survive, or be banished to an eternity of watercolor classes."
Raiko puffed his chest. "My riffs are purer than your glittery walls, orb."
---
They stepped into the gallery, and Raiko's soul yeeted itself to the void.
A ten-foot canvas loomed, framed in gold and unhinged delusion.
Two men stood back-to-back under a moonlit waterfall.
One was Raiko—same long hair, same scowl that screamed "I'd rather be shredding."
The other? A shirtless anime prince with abs stacked like a baker's bread racks, a jawline that could cut dragon bones, and a cape that laughed at gravity.
They were holding hands.
Then read the plaque.
The plaque read:
"The Hero and the Prince: Forbidden Sets of Reps"
Medium: Oil and Delusion
Artist: Tapazul's Divine Intern #44
"…WHAT THE—" Raiko bellowed.
Somewhere, soft violins started playing as if the temple wanted to romanticize his rage.
---
"WHAT IN THE METAL HELLS?!" Raiko roared, shaking the chandeliers.
Soft violins kicked in, as if the temple wanted to ship his meltdown.
Noona, three halls away, was eyeing a swirl titled "Inner Yearning of a Forgotten Pop Idol" when the floor quaked. She sipped her tea. "He found the BL section."
---
Back in the gallery, Raiko was a one-man riot.
He'd swiped a ceremonial fan from a display labeled "Do Not Touch – Sacred Breeze of Critique" and was smacking every BL painting with the fury of a metalhead at a pop concert.
"Unholy thirst traps!" SMACK.
"Abs don't stack like that!" SMACK.
"I DON'T DO LEGS WITH PRINCES!!"
Three divine interns sobbed in a corner, clutching ruined sketchpads.
Two security golems spun in confused circles, tripping over glitter.
Raiko leapt onto a pedestal, fan raised like a battle axe.
"DRAW ME LIKE A REAL LIFTER, YOU COWARDS!"
---
Noona arrived, tea steaming, unimpressed. "You're louder than your trial."
Raiko froze, fan mid-swing. "Noona, they're shipping me with a veiny prince! My brand's toast!"
Her gaze slid to a smaller painting: two war goddesses sipping tea, one's foot resting suggestively in the other's lap, titled "Divine Brew of Forbidden Bonds."
Her lips twitched, but Raiko's eyes locked onto it like a limited-edition vinyl.
"Noona, hold my guitar—"
SWIPE.
The yuri painting vanished, rolled up under Raiko's arm like a festival poster.
Noona blinked. "Did you just—"
"You saw nothing," Raiko said, sweating.
Noona stared. Blinked. Sipped her tea.
> She said nothing.
> That silence was terrifying.
---
The Critic Orb sparked, glitching like a bard bot on a bad loop.
"Unauthorized vandalism and theft detected! You defile Tapazul's sanctity!"
Raiko grinned, guitar humming faintly, shaking the floor.
"Sanctity? Your art's just recycled prince fanfiction! No magic needed for that cliché!"
Noona adjusted her gloves, smirking. "Your 'no mass printed and magic made art' rule's a scam. My husband's stickmen roast better than your interns."
The gallery walls glitched. Stickmen graffiti spread like a cursed meme, scribbling over prince portraits.
A divine professor's scream echoed: "WHO TAINTED MY GALLERY WITH STICKMEN?!"
---
Minutes later… outside the temple…
Noona: (deadpan) "I saw you steal lesbian propaganda like it was a merch table grab!" Noona said.
Raiko: "I support the arts!" he cried. "It's tasteful! Aesthetically empowering! Very symmetrical!"
Noona: "You fantasized about other womens.
Raiko: (choked) "Wait, what?! I didn't even look at their—!"
Noona: "You looked."
Raiko: "I appreciated the composition!"
Noona: "You fantasized about other women's sacred glutes, You're not touching me for a week!"
Raiko: "I—W-Wait, Noona, it's for the aesthetic! I was gonna sell it for your tea fund!"
Noona's glare sharpened, but Raiko's panic made him slip.
Raiko: "I swear, [muffled name], it's for you!"
The air froze. A nearby noble's wig quivered. A stray cat—Lady Tuna?—hissed, sensing doom.
Noona's tea cup cracked, shards forming a tiny stickman that glared at Raiko.
Noona: "You. Did. What?" she hissed, voice low enough to scare a Cultured Elemental. "You called me that name? The one you know I hate? The one I told you to never use because I'm the adult here?"
Raiko: (soul yeeted to the void) "N-Noona! I meant Noona! My goddess, my SSR waifu, my divine cheat unlocker! I didn't mean to—!"
Noona: "Two weeks,"
"No touching. No cuddles. No toe grazes. And if I catch you eyeing that painting again, you're bunking with your veiny prince."
turning away, parasol snapping shut like a guillotine.
Raiko clutched the yuri painting like a shield. "But it's symmetrical! It's for the aesthetic! For us!"
Noona's glare could've burned Tapazul to ash. "You don't get to call me anything but Noona after ogling other women's glutes and disrespecting my title."
A glowing message appeared over the archway behind them:
> "You may leave… but Tapazul remembers."
> Quest Failed.
Affection Debuff Applied: Cold Shoulder Lv.99
Duration: Indefinite (Subject to Behavior Review)
---
That night, Raiko slept next to his wife like a chastised monk.
No kisses. No cuddles. Not even accidental foot contact under the blanket.
He sighed, eyes on the ceiling.
"…Totally worth it," he whispered.
From the other side of the bed, Noona grumbled, "Say that again, you riff-obsessed gremlin, and I'll frame you with your veiny prince."
Raiko didn't speak for the rest of the week.
---
TO BE CONTINUED
---
Author Notes:
Tapazul's interns are drafting restraining orders, and Raiko's stickmen are now kingdom graffiti. Noona's sulking harder than a tea shortage, and Raiko's yuri heist just tanked his cuddle privileges. This side quest was fueled by spite, theft, and zero chill for art gods or BL fanfiction.
—
© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road Do not repost without permission.