Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
---
Side Story pt. 1: The Temple of Tapazul and the Stickman Rebellion
---
Adventurer quests were supposed to be dangerous.
Dungeons. Demons. Near-death experiences.
Not… art museums.
Which is exactly why Raiko was scowling at an enormous glowing gate in the middle of a moss-covered canyon labeled in dramatic calligraphy:
> "TEMPLE OF TAPAZUL – ONLY THE GREATEST ART MAY PASS."
At the gates, floating holograms rotate in slow, dramatic slideshow:
Shiny anime prince with 13 abs
Woman crying in a flower field
Another prince
Painterly elf holding a legal notice
Prince again
---
Raiko adjusted his guitar, tattered cloak flapping like a failed band banner. "Why'd the guild send us to an art snob's lair?"
Noona, arms crossed, sipped tea under her parasol. "Because you told them the Howling Blade could handle anything, idiot."
The guild's receptionist had been clear: their first quest as an adventurer party was to snag the Brush of Infinite Vibes, a relic locked in Tapazul that amplified chaos—perfect for Raiko's riffs and Noona's roasts. One catch: the temple only let in those with "pure" art.
Raiko held up his "offering."
A rolled-up poster he bought from a roadside discount scroll cart. The title read:
"Limited Edition: Heroic Moonlight Brooding – Metallic Foil!"
"I mean come on," he muttered. "That guy's got cheekbones. That's peak art."
He placed the poster reverently on the temple's altar.
The gate zaps it to ash.
Raiko: "WHAT?! IT LOOKS JUST LIKE THOSE!!"
Gate: "Reproduction detected. Access denied."
Noona: (sipping tea) "He's gonna lose it..."
Raiko screams,
> "THOSE ARE ALL THE SAME GUY IN DIFFERENT OUTFITS!!"
Then the message appeared:
> "REJECTED. MASS-PRINTED. TRY AGAIN."
Raiko twitched.
Noona, lounging on a summoned picnic chair with a parasol and tea, sighed. "To be fair, that poster looks like it came from a fandom booth."
"It's metal," Raiko grumbled. "They should respect it."
Another message glowed:
> "PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE WE SUMMON A CULTURED ELEMENTAL."
---
Two days later, they returned.
Raiko was carrying an easel, some paintbrushes, and the expression of a man who had snapped.
"Let me guess," Noona said, sipping tea. "You're going to draw a tragic prince?"
"No," he growled.
Then dropped to the ground and began furiously painting.
What emerged was a canvas so cursed it could offend both gods and first-year art students.
A stickman.
Another stickman.
A house that looked like it was vomiting.
Then, in bloody red font:
> "Tapazul is a scam"
Signed: "Someone who paid $0 for art and it shows."
Noona spat her drink. "You're joking."
Raiko stood. Eyes glowing. Shirt windblown by absolutely no wind. "Let's see what your fancy gate thinks of raw spite."
He placed it before the temple.
The glyphs flickered. The slideshow froze.
Then…
DING.
> "ACCEPTED. ORIGINAL. HANDMADE. FULL OF EMOTION. ENTRY GRANTED."
The gates slid open with a gentle chorus of harp strings and sarcasm.
Raiko stared, slack-jawed. "…What?"
Noona clapped slowly. "Wow. Spite counted as soul."
The floating orb with eyeliner materialized, droning, "Entry granted, rebels. Face the Gallery of Divine Passion to claim the Brush of Infinite Vibes, a relic to amplify your chaos. Fail, and the Cultured Elemental will yeet you to oblivion."
Raiko grinned, clutching his guitar. "Time to riff this temple apart."
Noona sipped her tea, muttering, "This better not involve your glutes, idiot."
Behind them, the stickman canvas floated upward, glowing like divine relic graffiti, as magical Twitter lit up with #StickmanRebellion.
As the stickman canvas floated, glowing like divine graffiti, a passing bard strummed a lute riff, muttering, "This'll spark a guild riot."
A noble in the distance clutched their wig, already drafting a lawsuit for "aesthetic trauma."
---
TO BE CONTINUED
—
Author Notes:
This side quest is sponsored by unhinged creativity and pure disrespect for pretentious gatekeeping. Yes, Raiko rage-painted. Yes, it worked. No, the temple staff are not emotionally okay.
Next time: What's inside Tapazul? Probably drama. Possibly art school horror. Maybe a divine critique circle.
Either way, Raiko's bringing more paint.
—
© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road Do not repost without permission.