Remus looked at his wand on the floor; casual discarded, exactly how he felt at the moment. Greyback had put his arm around Sirius as soon as they'd started walking up the stairs and, while he took some pleasure in the fact that Sirius didn't return the gesture, his mate also didn't push the other werewolf away and that did not sit well with his inner wolf. He looked back at the ruined things in the cell and briefly considered staying purely out of spite but Sirius had been right, it had been some time since he'd experienced any sort of comfort and the thought of having to sleep on the cold, hard floor was very unparalleled, especially with the promise of a comfy bed upstairs. He persuaded himself that it was because he thought Sirius would be less likely to do anything with Greyback if he knew Remus was just next door, and that was why he was chasing after them.
"Nice of you to join us, cub," Greyback smirked as Remus caught up with them in the main foyer.
"My name is Remus, stop calling me cub."
"Apologies Remus, " Greyback chuckled, "I'll try to remember that in the future but, for the record, I'm the one who turned you so that makes you my cub, whether you like it or not, and that's not something that is going to change."
"I could always kill you, that would stop me being your cub," Remus grouced.
"Like to see you try," Greyback grinned. He reached across and grabbed Remus by the scruff of the neck. It wasn't hard enough to hurt but the show of dominance sent a jolt of desire through him that caused him to whine out loud. All three of them paused at the sound but thankfully the biggest reaction was a raised eyebrow from Sirius before the pair carried on up the stairs.
Remus valiantly tried to fight down the blush that he knew was dusting his cheeks. Sirius wasn't the only one who had gone for the last ten years. It was just desperation not attraction. Remus looked up just in time to catch Greyback smirking at him from halfway up the stairs. Incensed, Remus darted up the stairs ahead of them, blocking their progress.
"I should push you down right here you bastard," he snarled. "It would be fun to watch your head bouncing down the marble steps."
Greyback just grinned unrepentantly. "If you think a little push from you is going to hurt me then you're more delusional than I thought, little cub."
Remus raged and pushed the larger man with all his might. Both him and Sirius seemed shocked when Greyback actually flew backwards, actually lifting off the ground and for a second. Time seemed to slow as he watched the scene unfold and Remus thought the older werewolf might just fall down the steps and die. He was surprised that the idea didn't actually fill him with joy as he thought it might but he needn't have worried as Greyback smiled and managed to flip himself over in mid air and land in a crouched position a few steps down. It was an amazing feat of dexterity and Remus had a moment to be impressed when a predatory look came over Greyback's face and he realised how screwed he really was. Panicking, Remus span around and darted up the stairs as quickly as he could but, unsurprisingly, it was no use and Greyback had caught up with him before he'd even managed to reach the top, diving on him and sending them both sprawling across the landing.
Remus's heart was pounding as he looked up at the great hulk of muscle that was now pinning him to the ground. He gulped at how vulnerable he had made himself and ignored the sharp spike of desire he felt at being in this position with someone as clearly dominant as Greyback was. Damn hormones, he thought, cursing them for making him feel like a bloody teenager again.
"Are you going to kill me now," he taunted, clinging to his anger like a security blanket lest he think about anything else. He figured at least if he could rile the other man up then it would show Sirius what a monster he really was.
"No chance," Greyback grinned and, much to Remus's amazement, places a gentle kiss on his forehead before clambering off him, leaving him feeling strangely bereft.
Sirius just shook his head at him as remained lying on the floor. "That was stupid, Remus. I always thought you had more sense than that."
Greyback took his former position next to Sirius and the pair turned to head down one of the corridors. Remus was feeling desperate, as if everything he had ever known was falling away. He it was a terrible idea but, feeling like the very definition of a foolish Gryffindor, he jumped up and pulled out his wand, aiming it straight at Greyback's back.
"I wouldn't try and let off a spell if I were you cub," Greyback said, not even looking back, "because the second you do I'll be back there and snapping it in two and then where will you be without your precious little stick."
"You won't if I kill you straight out," Remus blustered. "I doubt anyone would be upset with me if I cast Avada Kedavra at you and there's no defence against that."
"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Don't worry puppy," Greyback reassured him. "There may be no spell to block Avada Kedavra but its only effective if he can actually hit me and I doubt my cub will be able to keep up with my reflexes."
"That sure of yourself are you!" Remus demanded and Greyback finally stopped and turned to look Remus straight in the eye.
"What do you think, Remus? Do you like your chances enough to take the chance?"
Remus tried to hold up under that piercing, searching gaze and he tried to pull up every ounce of his Gryffindor courage to keep his arm up and say the spell but his lips refused to move and his arm shook until he eventually had to drop it. He threw his wand on the floor in frustration.
"As I thought cub," Greyback said, although thankfully without a trace of his former smugness for which Remus was grateful.
"If you've quite finished this useless posturing, my suite is the second on the right. There's a bath there, you can have a nice long soak to relax a bit and I can have a house elf bring you up a hot meal since you saw fit to throw your previous one on the floor instead of eating it," Sirius said and shook his head. "Since when did I become the sensible one of the group."
"Probably about the time you realised you were a father," Greyback smiled. "Parenthood has a way of doing that to people, I've seen it several times. Young Harry would be proud of you puppy."
"Thank you," Sirius sighed.
"You're welcome," Greyback said, ruffling Sirius's hair. "Now let's get back to your rooms; I find myself in need of a drink and I have a feeling the house elves have been keeping the good fire whisky in the castle."
That night Remus lay in bed thinking, not that he could really do anything else. As promised Sirius had ordered him food, just leftovers but still a damn sight better than Remus had eaten in months, possibly years. The bath afterwards had been heaven to Remus's tired and aching muscles and for the first time that night he'd truly started questioning why he was fighting this all so much, although not for the last.
He hadn't seen Sirius or Greyback when he'd got out of the bath and he refused to think about what they might be doing. Instead he'd walked through the door Sirius had pointed out to him earlier and found a clean nightshirt waiting for him on the bed. Changing, Remus had slipped into the opulent bed, already warmed against the nighttime chill that had set in, but, despite the comfort, Remus's thoughts wouldn't let him rest.
Its not like he hadn't realised that Sirius at least believed he was right and that some of the things he was told didn't make sense. He himself had previously questioned why there had never been a werewolf student before him, or why there hadn't been any since he started and the old man had simply said that all the others were too wild to attend the school among human witches and wizards and that it had only been thanks to his father's firm hand that Remus had kept enough of his humanity to not be a threat to the rest of the schools population.
Firm hand had been an understatement. Lyall Lupin had never shied away from any form of corporal punishment when it came to Remus; be it cane, belt or even a chain one time when Remus had the audacity to tell his father "no". It had been after his first year when he'd gone home and talked about the new friends he'd made at school, a real rarity for him given how frequently they'd moved over the years, and his father had been fine until he'd mentioned Sirius Black at which point his father had hit the roof demanding that Remus have nothing more to do with him. Remus had already started to feel something towards the other boy, some unknown connection almost from the offset which had given Remus the courage to stand up to his father for the first time in his life and he'd paid for that act of defiance with the flesh off his back. Admittedly he should have realised the punishment would be more extreme since he would get the cane rapped across his back for simply daring to put his elbows on the table during dinner.
Remus was always told this was all necessary to keep him in line since a slight sign if defiance in his human form apparently meant a massive sign of dominance in his wolf form, something that was seen as a big threat which is why even his kind and caring mother turned a blind eye to her husband's actions, having been scared into believing that her son was at constant risk of turning into a bloodthirsty monster should they let up even slightly. The threats of Remus having to be 'put down' should he even be seen as slightly out of control didn't help matters either, for Remus or his mother, and Remus lived in constant fear of being deemed too dangerous because he put a toe too far over the line. This idea was only further entrenched in his mind by Dumbledore backing up the idea that he was the only werewolf deemed safe enough to actually attend the school because if someone as great and good as Dumbledore thought he was barely human then it must be true.
And that didn't go into what his father thought about his ability to bear children. It was discovered when his father's friends Damocles Belby, the potioneer, and Hippocrates Smethwyck, a healer, used to perform all sorts of different experiments on him to try to learn more about his condition. They had discovered that Remus actually had ovaries situated just below his kidneys. His father had been disgusted with him and had ripped his back to ribbons, swearing blind that no son of his would ever get pregnant as it would be a sure sign that Remus was less than human.
It's part of why he had never mentioned anything to Sirius over the years. While Sirius always claimed to accept him, the family's motto of Toujour Pur was always present at the back of Remus's mind. It was one thing to be the mate of a werewolf, especially as Sirius liked to stick his finger up to his family, but it was another thing entirely to be mated to a male werewolf who could give birth to children. He'd jokingly mentioned the idea to James once, as a pureblood wizard, to try and judge how Sirius might take the news. James had scoffed at the idea and called Remus ridiculous for even considering the concept which had cemented the idea in his head that Sirius could never know.
That's part of the reason why he was so upset when he'd realised James was pregnant. It hadn't helped that he'd felt jealous after Sirius had slept with James. He'd thought he would be ok with them including their friend in their relationship only it hadn't sat very well when he thought about them together, made worse when James slept with Sirius and then disappeared for a while. He'd been a little shocked when James suddenly started dating Lily and felt like their friend had used them as an experimentation phase, not caring about what effect it would have on their relationship.
As soon as he'd met Harry though, he'd figured out what had happened and it's why he could never really accept Harry or felt the need to get close with him. Harry had represented everything that he could have had if he'd taken the risk, made all the worse each time he saw Sirius interact with the boy. Sirius doted on him even thinking he was just a Godfather and Remus had just convinced himself that it might be a good idea to come clean to Sirius, or at least let things just happen naturally, when the Potters had been attacked and Sirius had been arrested and it all seemed to suggest that Remus had been right.
Only he hadn't been, not if what Sirius was saying was anything to go by, nor his actions at that. His own son was likely a bearer, if what he said was true, and yet Sirius seemed perfectly fine with the idea, as well as being acutely upset at the fact that Remus had prevented him from fathering any children. Sure he might have thought differently as a younger man but it was proof that Remus should have had a bit more faith in his mate. It was shocking to realise how much he had actually betrayed the man over the years and he was finding it harder and harder to be upset with him for leaving him to go off with Greyback.
Then there was what was said about Greyback's pack as well. Sirius and Greyback had been discussing some plans while Remus was eating and, while they hadn't actually included him in any of the talk, he had been listening intently to what they were saying. He had been sceptical at first, werewolves were wild animals so of course they couldn't possibly have any sort of society and definitely wouldn't be able to keep livestock since they would be slaughtered every full moon. Only every word that was spoken between the pair put another tear into all of Remus's long held beliefs. Not only was there a healthy stock of animals on the farms, and in the forests, but there were generations of them, with discussions about keeping a few extra lambs aside this year to hopefully allow for an increased population of witches and wizards in the castle. The fact that these so-called 'wild animals' were making plans to safeguard against possible shortfalls in supplies in case of a population growth was astounding to Remus and, while he knew very little about what was required to maintain a thriving farmstead, even he could tell that that wasn't the sort if thing that could even be considered if each full moon a whole pack went on a rampage and destroyed everything.
Then there was the discussion about the education of the student age werewolves and Harry. Remus had to admit he was quite impressed at how quickly Sirius volunteered to teach transfigurations. His mate had always had a great skill in that area, having used meditation and a series of partial human transfigurations instead of the potions, as used by James and Peter.it had been an impressive feat, especially as human transfigurations weren't taught until sixth year, and Sirius had started doing them at the end of fourth. The fact that he was wanting to now teach it was a sign of how much he was maturing as well since he had refused, point blank, to even attempt to help James and Peter with their transformations back in the day. But the fact that they were naming so many potential students brought home for Remus just how lucky he'd been to have been given the opportunity to attend. It also made him wonder how Dumbledore could be so sure that none of these other werewolves could be trusted.
From what his father and Dumbledore had said, it was safe to imply that the werewolf pack didn't employ the same techniques that his father had, and he certainly couldn't imagine anyone trying to tame Greyback, yet they were talking about Harry attending lessons with werewolves as if it was perfectly safe and even normal and if it was fine here it posed the question of why it wasn't fine at Hogwarts. The only explanation Remus could come up with that made any sense was that it was because Dumbledore didn't want it that way. For all his talk about inclusion and acceptance, Dumbledore didn't seem to actually believe any of those ideas. Remus couldn't think of a single time when Dumbledore had actually done anything to help any werewolf, other than him, and it did start to cause questions about some of Dumbledore's convictions.
The problem is that it called into question everything that he'd gone through growing up but that was not something that he wanted to get into. He had come to terms with his father's actions as necessary some time ago and had convinced himself that his father had truly cared for him and had acted in a way that he believed was for the best. The problem came with the idea that his father knew that werewolves weren't all vicious creatures and that his actions weren't necessary. It left Remus feeling sick and betrayed. There was also the idea that Dumbledore had known all along what was happening and said nothing and, if that was true, he could definitely see himself turning his back on the man and he only hoped that there weren't any others that were suffering as he did.
Eventually he heard birdsong, signaling the quickly approaching dawn, and Remus sighed, realising that he had better try to sleep at least a little bit or else he risked being in a ridiculously bad mood for the next day, not necessarily a good thing if he had to deal with you-know-who, as he well suspected. It was a daunting thought but if Sirius was right Dumbledore purposely had him rotting in jail for a crime he didn't commit, Remus was finding it increasingly difficult to see the old man as the beacon of good that he always seemed to be. If Sirius and Harry had both been persuaded to join the man then the least he could do was hear him out, even if it was just to poke holes in his argument and show the other two the error of their ways.
The next thing he knew was someone pounding on his door.
"If you want to have a shower before breakfast you'll need to be quick," Sirius called.
Remus rubbed his eyes and groaned. It felt like it had been no time at all since he closed his eyes yet the sunlight blaring through his window showed that several hours had in fact passed, it was just a shame he didn't feel like he had anywhere near enough. Unsurprising really since he was usually having to deal with something that could barely be described as a mattress as well as a near constant fear of someone breaking in to rob him of meagre belongings he owned. Despite having had a bath the night before, a shower still sounded nice, especially as he'd had to put up with washing in a sink with cold water for months, but at the same time the thought of moving seemed like far too much effort.
"Um, thanks Sirius but I think I'm alright."
"No problem, we'll be heading down to breakfast in about 20 minutes then. I'll give you a five minute warning if you're not out before then."
"Thanks," Remus called with a sigh as he listened to his mate walk away. He stretched. Sirius was right, the sleep and food had helped him greatly, at least in some areas anyway. There were certain things that he was resolutely trying not to think about such as where a certain werewolf slept last night, or didn't as the case might be. He knew he had no right to complain about what Sirius did, not after he'd been the one to stop their bond forming, but that didn't stop him from being jealous of Sirius and Greyback exploring a relationship together. The only problem was that, when he thought about the pair together, he wasn't sure who he was more jealous of.
Remus had always been aware that, due to his nature, he was always going to take a more submissive role and hadn't been even slightly surprised when his mate turned out to be male. The surprise had been that Sirius was also submissive, although he fought it to begin with, and that had always been a source of friction in their relationship. He'd tried, once, to try to take the more dominant role and it had been a complete disaster, with his wolf railing against the idea from the start. It's why he could understand Sirius being attracted to the man, to a certain extent. His own body had reacted very strongly to the other man's presence but he was adamant it was just because of Greyback's pure dominance, something Remus had never experienced before. He could never actually be attracted to a brute like that.
Dragging himself out of bed, very reluctantly, he was surprised to notice a basin of warm water and a cloth for him to wash, as well as some very fine robes. He briefly wondered what had happened to his own clothes before he noticed them next to the robes, looking very drab in comparison, although they had been cleaned and repaired and almost looked like new. It took Remus a significant amount of time to decide which ones to wear, eventually opting for the new ones. As much as he hated the idea of charity, his mate was currently being courted by another and he couldn't in all good consciousness go down to breakfast with you-know-who looking like a tramp, albeit a clean one. The robes he'd been given were exquisitely made and somehow fit him perfectly. The outer robe was made of a fine moss green linen with a dark gold cotton undershirt, nothing overly ostentatious, although there were some metallic gold threads running through the trousers that had him pausing before putting them on, although they didn't look too bad once he had them on.
Tidying himself up as much as he could, Remus took a deep breath and exited his room. Sirius was in the main living room and smiled when he saw Remus, walking up to him.
"Good morning, you're up sooner than I thought."
Remus shrugged. "Didn't see the point of lying in bed doing nothing."
"Don't know if I'd agree with that," Sirius chuckled.
Remus scowled. "Yes, well you rarely did nothing when you were lying in bed."
Sirius opened his mouth to say something when the bathroom door opened and out came one Fenrir Greyback, naked apart from a towel wrapped around his hips.
"Very true, cub," Greyback grinned. "Puppy is surprisingly restless in the mornings." He sauntered up to Sirius and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It was probably supposed to try and wind Remus up but unfortunately he was too distracted by the tanned flesh covering rippling muscles and Remus had to clamp his jaw shut to make sure he wasn't caught drooling over the man.
"I was plenty restful this morning," Sirius huffed. "All we did was cuddle."
"Really?" Remus queried, somewhat surprised.
"Of course," Sirius scowled. "I wouldn't be that rude with you in the next room."
"Still snuggled quite closely into my side," Greyback smirked. Remus was relieved on one hand, and glad Sirius had thought about him that much, but even the thought of cuddling sounded nice. Greyback's arms looked big and strong and Remus could imagine them feeling very nice wrapped around him. He briefly thought about what might have happened if he'd decided to join them last night and he once again had to stamp down on his libido.
"Just go get dressed so we can go down for breakfast, I'm hungry," Sirius grouced.
"I'll happily help you work up an appetite later puppy," Greyback leered, waggling his eyebrows, causing Sirius to shake his head at the man's actions. Remus felt sad at watching their actions, slightly jealousy, but more because of how comfortable they seemed with each other, despite not having been together long. It was never that easy between him and Sirius and he had to remind himself that that was largely because Sirius had had a lot more issues back in school.
They were making their way down the stairs and Remus was brought up short when he saw the other inhabitants of the castle. He had never seen you-know-who before and was slightly taken aback by how handsome the man was and could quite understand how people might flock to him. Seeing Severus Snape was quite shocking as well but the person who really made Remus stop in his tracks was a teenager who could only be Harry. He had always been told that Harry was a mini James but, while Harry seemed to have James's chin and hair, he seemed to have Sirius's eyes, although they were a bright green as opposed to Sirius's silver. The reminder of the boy's lineage was hard but what was shocking Remus was what he was wearing.
"Why are you wearing a dress!" Remus gaped, staring at the boy.
Harry shrugged. "I feel more comfortable in loose things than trousers, I'm not used to tight fitting things. Technically these are culottes anyway, there's a join, not that it would matter anyway: what I choose to wear is no business of yours anyway."
"Quite dear," the Dark Lord said, placing a kiss on his forehead. "You are welcome to wear whatever you wish."
"Indeed," Snape sneered. "I wouldn't worry too much about what Lupin says anyway, Harry. He never had the balls to stand uo to his friends in school so I doubt he'll really say anything more anyway."
Remus bristled at the reminder of his previous behaviour. He had always wanted to tell his friends to rein their pranks in but he was conscious of Dumbledore's friendship with his father and always feared losing his place at the school if he was seen to be anything other than mild mannered.
"Not all of us had the luxury of being able to act how we wanted."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "And yet I don't remember you being punished for nearly killing a student and nearly turning another."
Remus opened his mouth to protest then quickly shut it again. These people didn't need to know what he went through, they wouldn't care anyway, wouldn't understand. He was just about to walk away from the situation when Sirius spoke.
"Not all punishment happened at school."
Remus froze and quickly spun around to look at his mate.
"What are you talking about?" Remus hissed.
Sirius sighed. "You may have insisted on keeping them covered at all times but I still felt them. I don't know how far the scars go up your back, but I felt more than enough to realise."
Remus's eyes bugged out of his head. "What are you saying Sirius?"
"That I can hazard a guess at who made them, although I never knew why."
To keep me under control," Remus yelled. "Because if I started showing any sign of defiance then that meant my human mind was losing to the wolf and I was becoming an animal. It would have meant me being deemed too dangerous to attend Hogwarts and possibly even put down."
"He wouldn't," Sirius gaped, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Oh he would," Greyback growled. "Lyall Lupin is a right bastard and I would wager he didn't even see Cub here as his own after he was turned."
"After you turned me!" Remus accused, pointing a finger at Greyback.
"Aye, and I've apologised for doing that to you but I can't be held responsible for how your father acted afterwards," Greyback returned. "I had hoped that Lyall Lupin would see that his son was still his son and love him regardless but that doesn't seem to be the case."
"My father did love me," Remus insisted. "My mother always said that deep down he did and that he only acted in a way he thought was right."
"Really," Greyback queried, "because I've been thinking: about 18 years ago Lupin and his gang stopped mostly targeting women and children and started killing whoever they saw and I'm wondering if that coincided with him learning about your ability to have children."
Remus stayed pointedly quiet on the subject.
Harry, however, gasped. "They were purposely targeting women and children."
"Aye," Greyback nodded. "Lupin sees any beings as a taint on humanity. He wants to irradiate us all and he will go to any lengths to do it. He started with werewolves but I can see him targeting every other species if he ever manages to get rid of us."
"That's awful!" Harry exclaimed and turned to Tom. "We can't let him do that."
"Don't worry we won't," Tom smiled. "I have already started making overtures to the various races to try to work out a way to manage all of the magical world on an equal footing and not place wizards as somehow above all others."
"That's good," Harry smiled, "I'd like to help with that if I can."
"After you finish your education," Snape insisted, causing Harry to huff.
"Don't worry pet," Tom chuckled, "it will be no easy feat and I'm sure I'll still be busy trying to sort things out a few years from now. Come, let us get down to the dining hall before the house elves start wondering where we are."
Harry looked back to Sirius who nodded and gestured for Harry to move on before turning to look at Remus.
"Do you want to have this conversation now?"
Remus shook his head. He couldn't, he wasn't ready. The only thing that had got him through all those years was the steadfast belief that what had happened to him was necessary, was done out of love for him, to stop him from becoming a monster, not because he was one.
Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's fine, but just remember I'm here when you're ready. Come on, let's get some food. I'm sure one good meal won't be enough to fill you up after Merlin knows how long."
Remus smiled at his mate in thanks and then looked over at Greyback. The other werewolf was looking at him intently but not with any sort of mallus. If he didn't know any better he could swear there was a hint of concern in that gaze but that couldn't be right. He was nothing to Greyback, he doubted the other man even saw him as a rival for Sirius's affections, so why on earth would he care about him.