Sirius walked cautiously down to the dungeon. It didn't take him long to notice the lone figure curled up behind the bars of the only occupied cell. Someone had obviously taken care to put nice bedding, food and a change of clothes in the cell at some point but it seemed as if Remus had thrown them about in a fit of rage at some point. Not that he could really blame the man as he was almost certainly dragged here against his will but a certain part of him still bristled at the action, especially as he knew how hard up for food and comfort Remus frequently was and it seemed a but like his old friend was cutting his nose off to spite his face.
The outer corridor was silent although Sirius knew Greyback would be skulking about somewhere and he tried to suppress the thrill that went through him at the thought that the werewolf might be watching him from the dark. He tried to concentrate instead on Remus, his mate, he reminded himself, the figure who was currently curled up in a ball in the middle of the carnage in the cell.
Sirius took a moment to really look at the other man. Admittedly he couldn't see much from this angle, especially in the poor light, but even then he could see that the other man was thin, too thin in fact, a clear sign he hadn't been eating. It reminded Sirius a bit of looking at his own reflection in the mirror and his heart broke a little to think of his former lover suffering like that. At least Sirius had Azkaban to blame for the state of his body, with the poor quality food, if it could even be called that, plus the harsh conditions of the island in the middle of the North Sea. Remus should have been able to maintain a certain level of quality of life, even as a werewolf. They were supposed to have friends to help support him for Merlin's sake! Why were people letting him starve! He felt himself growling at the injustice of it all. Now it was looking like him, his son, and his lover had been let down by the so-called light side and he was starting to become more and more grateful that he had thrown his lot in with the Dark Lord now, since at least he seems to have some desire to help his followers, if his talk of getting them out of Azkaban was anything to go by.
The figure on the floor stirred, likely becoming aware of his continued presence.
"I don't know what you're expecting by kidnapping me Greyback but no one will care that I'm gone."
"That much is obvious!" Sirius huffed.
Remus jumped up at the sound of his voice and slammed against the bars of the cell.
"You! So you're behind this! I should have known. Are you planning on killing me as well?"
"Why would I kill you?" Sirius frowned.
"Well you killed your other so called friends, why would I be any different?"
"I didn't kill anyone," Sirius insisted. "I know what everyone thought but I wasn't actually the secret keeper for James and Lily, Peter was."
"Very convenient for you to blame him since he's dead!"
"That's where you're wrong," Sirius smirked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the copy of the Prophet that Fudge had left on his cell and holding up to the bars as he cast a strong lumos to allow Remus to see. "Look at that and tell me that isn't Peter!"
Remus squinted in the suddenly bright light before leaning forward to look at it more closely. Sirius was struck by the grey in the other man's hair and the lines on his face. Sirius himself looked much older than his mere 33 years but again that was mostly due to the broken walls of Azkaban that did little to block the salt spray that was constantly blown up by the wind. Remus had been living in the relative comfort of the English countryside, at least as far as Sirius was aware, so there was no real reason why he should look a good decade older than he actually was.
After about a minute of staring at the picture Remus shook his head. "I'll admit that it does look somewhat like Peter's form but it can't be because that rat is missing a toe."
"You mean a finger," Sirius pointed out, "like the one I cut off in our duel."
"You're just clutching at straws," Remus argued. "You're trying to use flimsy evidence to try to persuade me you're innocent but it's not going to work. You can't change who a person is deep down, it always finds a way to come out."
Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "How is it my supposed mate instantly assumes I'm guilty but my beloved mother knew I was innocent from the start."
Remus frowned. "What do you mean your mother knew you were innocent?"
"I mean I spoke to my mother's portrait at the old family home and she said that she knew it was ridiculous as soon as she heard it and apparently my grandfather, a man I barely knew existed, even tried to look up for news of my trial, not that there was one, and that was a damn sight more than what any of my so-called friends did."
"That doesn't necessarily mean anything," Remus scowled. "Even Lucius Malfoy managed to worm his way out of a sentence, even though he was obviously guilty so it doesn't mean anything that death eater sympathisers were trying to free you."
Sirius stared at him in disbelief. "You still honestly believe that I'm capable of betraying James! After all that we went through together!"
"Yes!" Remus hissed. "You're a Black, that means you're dark by nature. I'm not saying you didn't fight, that was obvious from your choices, but that's not something that can be fought forever. I should know, I'm the same."
"What do you mean?" Sirius scoffed. "You're not dark."
"I'm a werewolf, Sirius. I'm dark by definition."
"Well yes, but dark doesn't necessarily mean evil. It's not like you would intentionally kill someone."
"Maybe not intentionally but that doesn't mean that it isn't still wrong, that it isn't still murder."
Sirius chuckled, and shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous Remus. You're talking like you actually killed someone."
"I did!" Remus yelled, slamming his hands against the bars of the cell. "I killed my mother!"
Sirius gaped at him. "You're lying. You wouldn't, you couldn't."
"I could and did!" Remus insisted.
"How?"
"How am I supposed to know?" Remus laughed sardonically. "It's not like I can remember anything when I change. All I know is what I saw in the morning: my father burying my mother's mangled corpse."
"What were you even doing at your parent's place?" Sirius asked. "You didn't want anything to do with them when we finished school."
"But when you were arrested I knew I wouldn't be able to keep our house and I couldn't earn enough of a living to get my own so I went back to my parents, the only place I could think to go where I might be accepted, not that I even was there. My mother was happy to see me but my father was not so pleased, and rightly so, it turned out, but still she managed to persuade him to let me stay. Things were a little tense, with my parents frequently arguing because of me and I wondered whether I should just leave. Then, on the first full moon, I broke free of my constraints and attacked. My father managed to drug me with some meat dosed with draught of the living dead to knock me out but not before I attacked and killed my mother."
"That seems a little convenient, that he happened to have the ability to drug you, but not before you killed your mother," Sirius mused.
"Of course he had a way of drugging me just in case, he had a dangerous animal in the house, he would need a way to stop me just in case," Remus huffed.
"But that's the point," Greyback said, stepping out of the shadows and proving that he had been listening all along. "A werewolf is an animal and will act in the way that an animal will. Animals don't attack for no reason, only for food or if threatened and, from what you said, I doubt your mother would have been the one threatening you so unless you're telling me that they were starving you, I don't see her actually being deemed a threat, especially if your father had gone off to get the poisoned meat like he said."
Remus just shook his head. "You know Sirius, you almost had me going for a moment there, almost had me believing that there could have been some sort of mistake, that the man I loved could never possibly betray his friends like that, but now I can see you've been with you-know-who all along."
"Not all along," Sirius denied, "just since my escape, and even then not straight away, only when I found out that Dumbledore had forcibly kept me away from my son."
Remus suddenly paled. "Since when do you have a son?"
"Since the 31st of July, 1980," Sirius smirked. "You see it turns out James was injured when he saved Snape from Dumbledore and the old man had to use alchemy and his phoenix to prevent James from turning only it had an unforeseen side effect so that when James and I shared that night together, at your suggestion, he ended up getting pregnant. James and Lily's wedding was a sham to cover it up. Harry is actually mine, it's there on the family tapestry, and Dumbledore set me up to take the fall for the Dark Lord's attack after I held Harry and realised that I was his father. Speaking of the tapestry, why is your name not on there? James is, as Harry's bearer, without a skull by the way so I know he's still alive, and Harry is shown to have tentative bonds with his mates, but you are not mentioned on it even though we are apparently mates and I know our bond was consummated."
If possible, Remus seemed to pale even further. "Our bond wasn't consummated," he whispered.
"Remus," Sirius said slowly, as if he were explaining something to a small child. "I was there, love. We had sex. On multiple occasions."
"Yes but you never finished inside me," Remus explained, seeming to hunch in on himself.
"Does that matter?" Sirius queried.
"Oh yes," said Greyback, looking inquisitively at Remus, "and it seemed my cub realised that early on which begs the question of why did he allow it to continue and I can only come to one conclusion: you are a natural male bearer."
"Was being the operative word," Remus stated, looking defiantly at the alpha werewolf. "You made me into this abomination but now, thanks to the Wolfsbane potion, I really am free of that worry."
"So it's even more barbaric than I suspected," Greyback roared, "and I bet they used you for their so-called research as well."
"Wait, what!" Sirius exclaimed. "Back up a minute. Are you saying that Remus not only intentionally sabotaged our bond but he denied me children as well."
"It's my body, it's my choice!" Remus roared. "You can't force me to become some sort of freak of nature. Men aren't supposed to have children."
"What are you talking about, male bearers are a gift!" Greyback yelled and Sirius felt the need to put a hand on his shoulder to try to calm him down.
"He's right though Greyback, it is ultimately his body that would have to go through it and so he has the right to decide not to have children," Sirius said, then he turned to look at Remus. "It would have been nice for you to actually talk to me about these things though, to allow me some sort of input, especially when it involved our relationship as well. I mean all this time I thought the problems in our relationship were because of me. That the reason we weren't as close as we should have been was because I couldn't be dominant enough to make you happy but it turns out that that was on you all along."
"I couldn't take the risk!" Remus insisted. "I had no way of knowing how easily I could get pregnant and it's not like I could take contraceptives or anything! Can you imagine how people would have reacted at school if it would have come out. I'd have had to leave, there would have been too many questions."
"At school yes, but what about afterwards?" Sirius queried. "We were living together for nearly three years. If you had gotten pregnant then we could have just moved and then pretended we'd adopted a kid or something. I think the fact that you can have kids is a wonderful thing. I love that I have Harry and I'll admit that the thought that you purposely stopped me from fathering others, that you kept it from me and didn't give me a say, really hurts Rem."
Greyback looked at Remus shrewdly. "You know what cub, I'm somewhat curious as to why you don't seem more surprised about Sirius here claiming to be Harry's father. The fact that you're a male bearer explains a certain amount but you don't seem shocked in the slightest."
"That's true," Sirius frowned. "I had to literally see it on the family tapestry to believe it but you didn't even question it once. Why is that?"
"Because I already knew you idiot!" Remus screamed. "I knew that something had happened to James, I could smell it on him after that weekend he was away and I questioned Dumbledore on it. I felt so guilty at the fact that I'd nearly cursed my friend like that and so grateful to Dumbledore for having saved him. I hated you then as well, hated you for nearly turning me into a monster like him who thought nothing of turning children. I couldn't fight the bond forever though, but I always remembered and it's probably why I didn't feel too guilty about not telling you about the bond, and what we really needed to do to fulfill it. I think that's why I didn't even really care about you going off to spend the night with James, that was until he got pregnant."
"You're saying you knew all along!" Sirius gasped.
"Of course I did!" Remus hissed. "I could smell it on him from the start. Dumbledore explained that it was an unforeseen side effect of the change and persuaded me to keep quiet, knowing how worried I was about people learning about my ability. It didn't stop me resenting him, though, especially after Harry was born and seeing how much you doted on him. It made me question if I had made the right decision in not saying anything to you."
"Is that why you left him alone," Sirius demanded, "why you left him in the care of Lily's horrible sister and didn't even bother to check on him? They abused him, Remus! Locked him in the cupboard under the stairs and denied him any sort of affection."
"And what could I have done even if I had checked on him, huh?" Remus questioned. "I'm a monster who hurts innocent people. Someone who can barely look after themselves. What life was I supposed to give a child?"
"You could have loved him," Sirius pleaded.
Remus shook his head. "I'd have killed him on the first full moon, or turned him, which would have been worse."
"You wouldn't have," Greyback stated resolutely, "not if you saw him as yours anyway. Link has told me about several families in France where one parent is human and their children are born without Lycanthropy. Even on the full moon the wolf recognises them as their pack and doesn't attack them."
"That's rubbish!" Remus scoffed.
"Is it?" Greyback queried. "I was told that for years your friends would run around with you in their animagus forms and you didn't once threaten them."
"That's because they were animals and the wolf didn't see them as a threat," Remus argued.
"But if your argument is that werewolves are mindless beasts then that doesn't make any sense," Greyback countered. "Venison is a primary food source of wolves and a strange, large dog wandering your territory would have certainly caused some sort of issue if you were purely working on instinct. The fact that your wolf recognised them proves that you aren't the monster you claim to be."
"Then how do you explain what happened to my mother?" Remus questioned.
"There are several possibilities," Greyback mused. "It's possible you slipped out of your restraints and Lupin threw his wife in front of him to try to buy himself time, something I can definitely imagine that coward doing. The other alternative is that Lupin drugged you from the start and killed his own wife, making it look like a werewolf attack. He's seen enough so he would be able to replicate it."
Remus looked aghast. "He wouldn't, he loved my mother."
"Maybe once, but as you said they'd been arguing and he obviously didn't want you around. I know he's your father but that man is a stone cold bastard who takes joy in slaughtering women and children because they're different. I can't see him batting an eye at killing his wife if he thought she'd become a liability, especially if it helped rid him of you as well."
Remus looked like he was trying to come up with an argument but couldn't. "Like you're any better!" he huffed.
"If you're referring to my attack on you then you're right. I apologise for that, for drawing you into a fight that had nothing to do with you. It was wrong of me. I saw red after your father killed my mate and child and wanted him to suffer the same pain but that doesn't excuse my actions. I only wish I'd been able to get you out of that house straight away, so you'd at least have had love and support."
"I did have love and support," Remus hissed. "My father might have hated me for what you made me but my mother never did, she always loved me. And at school I found friends who accepted me as well despite what I was so don't you dare try and claim otherwise."
"True," Greyback agreed, "and I'm glad you had that. It might even have been for the best since you were able to attend the school and find your mate here." He turned to look almost wistfully at Sirius. It was only a brief glance but Remus caught it all the same.
"You fancy him don't you Greyback?" Remus accused, fixing the alpha with a flinty stare. "Well too bad for you since he's mine so will never look twice at you." He chuckled mirthlessly until he caught Sirius flinching and Greyback looking smug. His face fell. "Sirius you didn't! Of all the people to cheat on me with, it had to be him!"
"I would hardly call it cheating Remy," Sirius scoffed, "not after you abandoned me for ten years, leaving me to rot. So I wanted a bit of human warmth after so long in that hell hole, is that really a surprise? And you know what, I felt guilty as hell about it, about who I was spending my time with. I did feel like I was betraying you a bit at the time but it turns out I needn't have worried because, thanks to you, we weren't even mated to begin with!"
"But of all the people!" Remus fumed. "Even you-know-who would have been better than him!"
"Well that's not going to happen since he's Harry's mate so I wasn't exactly left with a lot of options," Sirius snarked, causing Remus's mouth to drop.
"Way to stroke my ego there puppy," Greyback joked.
"As if your ego needs stroking," Sirius huffed, although he felt himself smiling slightly for the first time since he'd walked down there.What do you mean you-know-who is Harry's mate?" Remus asked, looking confused.
"Oh well technically Snape is the Dark Lord's mate. He and Harry have a bond though because apparently phoenix's bond with the first person who kills them, which was obviously the Dark Lord, so now they're forming a triad bond and I'll admit that it seems to be working out well for them," Sirius explained. "Although I must remember to give him the Porlocks and Pixies talk. I don't think he's ready for that stage yet but I don't want him getting caught unawares like James and I were, especially as he's got his education to worry about first."
Remus blinked slowly several times. "What do you mean phoenix bond?"
Sirius frowned. "Dumbledore used alchemy to change James into a human phoenix hybrid to stop him becoming a werewolf and since phoenixes are all hermaphrodites James got the ability to have children, same with Harry. Phoenixes also apparently form a bond with the first person who kills them, so in Harry's case that was the Dark Lord. I thought you said that Dumbledore told you a lot of this."
"He told me that he'd used alchemy to stop James from turning and I knew that he was different somehow but I didn't realise that he was a phoenix," Remus said, sounding astounded. "So does this mean that James really didn't die?"
"Yes," Sirius replied. "It turns out we're a truly brilliant group of friends. Not only did you and I betray each other but Peter betrayed James and Lily to the Dark Lord and James betrayed all of us by pretending to be dead this whole time when, in reality, he can't die until after his bonded does and by all accounts that's Dumbledore."
"Who has apparently been playing all of us," Remus sighed.
"So it would seem," Sirius agreed. "It's part of why I joined the Dark Lord."
"Only part?" Remus queried.
Sirius nodded. "Not only is the Dark Lord pro homosexuality, unsurprising given that he's in a relationship with two men, but he's also very pro creature rights. Greyback's pack works the land here and has done since my grandfather granted them rights nearly two decades ago. The Dark Lord not only encouraged Harry to allow them to remain but is even planning on helping the younger ones get an education."
Remus frowned. "Why don't they just go to Hogwarts?"
"To this day you are the only one he's allowed to go, cub," Greyback shrugged. "I don't know why. It's the same with others though. He has the odd half-breed around him that he can hold up as an example of how accepting he is of them but ignores all the others, uncaring of any plight they might be dealing with."
"There are half-breeds around Dumbledore?" Sirius queried.
"Aye," Greyback grinned, "I've bumped into that groundskeeper of his and that man is a half giant if ever I saw one."
"Really!" Sirius exclaimed, "I just assumed that he'd fallen into a cauldron of skele-gro as a baby or something."
"You do know that potion doesn't work like that," Greyback chuckled. "That's just a lie that people make up to disguise their heritage because they're worried about how people will treat them. For all that Dumbledore preaches about inclusion he doesn't actually do anything to help achieve it, not even supporting his own staff to feel safe with who they are."
"But does Dumbledore really not let any other werewolves go to Hogwarts?" Remus frowned.
"You tell me cub," Greyback grinned. "I'm supposed to be the evil one, attacking and turning children left, right and centre, yet were there any other werewolves at the school before you, or even during your stay?"
"Well, no, but maybe they aren't magical enough," Remus suggested.
"There are eight werewolves between the ages of 11 and 18 in my pack and I can tell you they are all very strong magically but not one of them got a letter which is why we're having to teach them what we can," Greyback explained.
"You turned that many!" Remus blanched.
"No. Some were born and grew up over the years. I turned a few though, although not for the reasons you think. Their parents asked me to because their kid was dying and becoming a creature was the only way to save them."
*"I think I'd rather be dead than turned," Remus huffed.
"Really?" Greyback questioned. "So why aren't you?"
Remus gaped at him. "Did you really just ask why I haven't killed myself!"
Greyback shrugged. "It's a legitimate question. You stand there and bemoan how terrible it is to be a werewolf, what a dangerous monster you are, a risk to humanity, yet you don't do anything to stop yourself. You don't seem to have anything keeping you here since your friends and family have turned their backs on you so what exactly is keeping you here?"
"Is it so bad that I just want to live!" Remus yelled, slamming his hands against the bars.*
"Then live, cub!" Greyback insisted. "Not this shadow of an existence that you've been putting yourself through until now. Actually live!"
"How?" Remus pleaded, and for the first time since he came down to the dungeons, Sirius remembered the poor, timid boy that he had just wanted to protect when they were at school.
"For starters we can get you out of this cell," he smiled.
"Aren't you worried about me running away?" Remus asked.
"Not without your wand," Greyback smirked. "You're dad's old buddies roam the woods outside the perimeter of this castle and they wouldn't think twice about killing you as soon as they saw you."
"Not that a wand would help you much anyway," Sirius admitted. "There's an anti-apparition ward on here as strong as Hogwarts and there is no floo connection."
"So why lock me up in here in the first place?" Remus huffed.
"Because we needed to talk, I needed answers, and I knew I wouldn't get them if I had to chase you down," Sirius shrugged and opened the cell. "Do you want to stay down here or come up to my suite? Greyback could probably take you to his pack if you'd prefer."
"I'd rather go home," Remus scowled.
"What home?" Greyback scoffed. "Even the rats were turning their nose up at that hovel I picked you up from."
"At least I had my freedom there!" Remus yelled.
"I can understand that sentiment," Sirius agreed, "but as your mate and someone you used to class as a friend I'm worried about your health. Can you please just stay for a day and actually get some food into you, and maybe a decent night's rest. I'll swear a wizard's oath that I'll send you back tomorrow and you can even tell Dumbledore everything for all I care."
"It's not like he can mount an assault on this place anyway," Greyback admitted.
"And I can have my wand?" Remus queried.
"Sure," Sirius answered before Greyback could say otherwise. "Just remember that you're seriously outnumbered here so if you did attack one of us you'd probably be dead before you said your second spell."
"The fact that I'm outnumbered is precisely why I want my wand for protection," Remus snarled.
"If I wanted to kill you, cub, you'd already be dead, the Dark Lord be damned!"
Sirius snorted at Greyback's comment, realising how true it really was. He couldn't deny that the show of dominance from the alpha didn't thrill him a bit though. He shook it off though, this was not the time for such thoughts.
"Look, Remus, it's up to you. Where do you want to sleep tonight?"
"I'm not sharing a bed with you!" Remus demanded.
"I don't think that would be a good idea, no," Sirius smiled sadly. "Thankfully my suite has multiple rooms so you would have your pick anyway."
"I was actually hoping to be the one to share Puppy's bed anyway," Greyback grinned and Remus let out a low growl.
"Do you have to antagonise him?" Sirius chided.
Greyback shrugged. "Just reminding him of his place."
"So is that how it's going to be?" Remus accused. "Jumping into bed with that monster as soon as I'm out of the picture."
Sirius rounded on Remus. "Since we aren't mated and apparently not even friends I don't think you get to have a say in the matter."
"If we're not friends then why do you care if I starve or not?"
"You're the one who doesn't seem to care about me!" Sirius barked. "Not only do you abandon me to Azkaban but you seem to have no care about how I am afterwards. That doesn't mean that I have stopped caring about you though, nor do I want to see you suffer."
I still care about you as well Sirius."
"Really," Sirius queried, "because you've got a funny way of showing it. Look, it's getting late and I'm tired. Greyback, give him his wand, if he wants to sleep on a proper bed then he's more than welcome to follow us."
"Excellent idea, puppy," Greyback grinned, chucking Remus his wand and then wrapping his arm around Sirius's shoulders. "I could do with a good lie down after the day I've had, especially if there's a nice warm body to warm it."
Sirius blushed at what Greyback was implying and resolutely looked forward. Remus knew his options, and he knew the truth: it was now up to him what he did with that information. After realising how much he'd been betrayed over the years, Sirius wasn't holding out much hope.