The bowl of diluted, still-suspicious-looking "love (disaster) noodle soup" was eventually conquered by Su Xiaolan's grim determination. The taste? Indescribable – overwhelmingly salty with an odd, burnt-soy-sauce undertone, the noodles mushy beyond recognition. Yet, strangely, staring at Li Chenyuan's stern profile bathed in the warm lamplight, intensely "studying" the door manual (while sporting faintly reddened ear tips and radiating a powerful "I did not cook" aura), the absurd concoction somehow became… weirdly palatable?
The lingering warmth from her fever and the hot soup in her stomach made exhaustion crash over her like a wave. Curled up on the sofa, Su Xiaolan's eyelids grew heavy, her consciousness teetering on the edge of wakefulness and oblivion. She stole a glance at the man in the armchair.
Li Chenyuan remained rigidly upright, the hefty Smart Security Door Operation Manual spread open on his long legs. The dim light sculpted the hard lines of his profile. His soaked shirt collar hung slightly open, revealing a glimpse of collarbone. His hair was half-dry, a few unruly strands falling across his forehead, softening his usual sharpness with an unexpected touch of… disheveled allure?
Allure?!
Su Xiaolan jolted, her drowsiness vanishing. She squeezed her eyes shut, mentally chanting: Salty fish! Salty fish! Peace through inertia! Avoid the leviathan!
Just as she battled her treacherous thoughts, Li Chenyuan closed the manual with a soft thump. He stood, his tall frame casting a long, imposing shadow across the room as he approached her.
Su Xiaolan tensed, curling her toes, feigning sleep.
"Bed. Now." His low voice commanded from above, brooking no argument, yet oddly strained. "Sofa's uncomfortable."
Su Xiaolan played dead, unmoving. Let him into the bedroom? That's inviting the wolf into the sheepfold! Even if this wolf… had recently resembled a clumsy Husky?
Li Chenyuan remained silent, perhaps assessing her act. Just as Su Xiaolan thought he'd give up, a cool, large hand slid beneath the blanket, slipping firmly under her knees and back—
The world tilted!
"Ah!" Su Xiaolan yelped, her cover blown! She was scooped up bridal-style again!
"Li Chenyuan! Put me down!" Humiliated and furious, she struggled with renewed strength, no longer fever-weakened.
His arms were like iron bands. "Stop squirming," he ordered, frowning. He carried her purposefully towards the bedroom door. Despite his usual dominance, Su Xiaolan sensed he deliberately slowed his stride, minimizing the jostling.
He nudged the slightly ajar bedroom door open with his foot.
The room was tiny. A single bed hugged the wall, covered in light blue sheets patterned with cheerful yellow ducks. A desk nearby was strewn with comic books and empty chip bags. The air held the faint scent of Su Xiaolan's shampoo mingled with… potato chips. A classic salty fish den.
Li Chenyuan's gaze lingered briefly on the chip bags and comics, a flicker of unacknowledged softness in his deep eyes. He reached the bed, bending stiffly to lower her onto the soft duck-printed sheets.
"Lie down." He pulled the folded blanket from the foot of the bed, draping it over her with commanding efficiency, yet clumsily tucking in the corners. "I'll be in the living room." Without another word or glance, he turned and strode out, firmly closing the door behind him.
Click.
Alone in her duck-filled sanctuary, surrounded by familiar, comforting scents and warmth, Su Xiaolan's heart hammered chaotically. That brief, intimate carry… his abrupt departure…
He… maybe isn't that scary?
At least… safer than his noodles?
She mentally slapped herself. Su Xiaolan! Wake up! He's the tyrant who smashed your door, kissed you against your will, gave you a fever, and force-fed you culinary atrocities! The architect of your ruined peace! Don't be fooled by temporary clumsiness!
Forcing her eyes shut, trying to ignore the palpable presence just beyond the door, exhaustion finally pulled her under.
Sometime later, a faint, crystal-clear electronic voice pierced her sleep:
"Beep—"
"Night Security Mode activated."
"Door/window lock status: Secure."
"Ambient temperature: 26.5°C. Humidity: 55%."
"Secondary bedroom life signs detected: Stable."
"Living room life signs detected:… Minor snoring detected. Decibel level: 42. Recommendation: Adjust sleeping position to prevent airway obstruction."
Su Xiaolan: "…???"
Her eyes flew open in the dark, heart pounding. What?! Minor snoring?! 42 decibels?! Adjust sleeping position?!
The voice… came from the living room! From the brand-new, fortress-like smart door?! It… it broadcasted that?!
Li Chenyuan… snores?!
The realization struck like lightning! The man with the eight-foot-tall aura, the freeze-you-with-a-glance stare, the signature that could make Wall Street tremble… snores in his sleep?! And got monitored and publicly announced by his own smart door?!
An uncontrollable wave of absurd, hysterical laughter surged up her throat! She bit her lip hard, body shaking violently with suppressed giggles, toes curling under the blanket!
Pfft… Pffhahaha…
No! Can't laugh! Absolutely not!
She pictured Li Chenyuan's perpetually icy face, crammed onto the tiny sofa (surely uncomfortable), emitting "minor snoring"… The image was too glorious to fully contemplate!
Just as she was suffocating from suppressed laughter, tears welling, the damned smart door delivered its coup de grâce in its emotionless drone:
"Friendly Reminder: Subject in living room exhibiting slightly elevated heart rate and skin temperature. Probable causes: Discomfort due to sleeping position or dream activity. Recommendation: Provide more comfortable sleeping environment or gently rouse for position adjustment."
Su Xiaolan: "…" PFFT—! She buried her face deep into the duck pillow, body convulsing with silent, shoulder-shaking, tear-streaming hysterics!
Discomfort! Dream activity! Gently rouse!
Smart door! You're a genius (of horror)! You know exactly how to achieve maximum social death!
She could vividly imagine Li Chenyuan's face shattering into a million icy pieces if he were awake to hear this "friendly reminder." The mere thought made her sides ache with laughter!
In the Living Room:
When the first "minor snoring" announcement echoed, the seemingly asleep figure on the sofa froze imperceptibly.
Then came the "elevated heart rate" and "friendly reminder"…
In the darkness, Li Chenyuan's eyes snapped open! Sharp as daggers, devoid of any sleepiness – filled only with icy fury and… atmosphere-freezing mortification!
He sat up slowly, movements radiating violated dignity and impending doom. His soaked shirt was wrinkled from sleep, collar gaping wider, revealing the tense line of his neck. His expressionless face turned towards the source of the betrayal: the sleek new smart door glowing faintly with indicator lights in the entryway.
Minor snoring… 42 decibels…
Discomfort… dream activity…
Each word was a slap to his famed composure and control. Li Chenyuan, at thirty, had never endured such… abject humiliation! Broadcast by a door!
Cold rage mixed with acute embarrassment tightened his jaw to a razor's edge. He stood, his imposing frame radiating menace as he stalked silently towards the offending door. Each step was soundless, yet vibrated with the tension of a volcano about to erupt.
He stopped before it. With a finger charged with destructive intent, he stabbed viciously at a small, innocuous touch panel labeled "Voice Settings."
The door's display lit up instantly.
Face like a storm cloud, his fingers flew across the touchscreen: Disable life sign announcements. Disable environmental data broadcasts. Disable all non-essential voice prompts… Finally, he found the master volume control and slammed it down to zero—MUTE.
He withdrew his finger, the force of his jab seemingly lingering. He cast one final, glacial glare at the door responsible for his greatest life fiasco (Social Death Edition), a look cold enough to freeze the lock mechanism solid.
In the Bedroom:
Su Xiaolan's face was still buried in the pillow, shoulders trembling with residual giggles. She'd felt Li Chenyuan's silent, murderous march to the door through the crack! And that final, vicious stab at the screen…
Pfft…
She clamped a hand over her mouth.
Dead silence reclaimed the living room. Deeper than before, broken only by the faint drizzle outside and her own pounding heart.
Li Chenyuan didn't return to the sofa. He stood motionless in the shadows near the entryway, back to the bedroom door, a silent statue radiating glacial cold and… thick, suffocating awkwardness.
Su Xiaolan strained her ears. Only rain. Was he… going to stand there all night?
She pictured him rooted in the shadows, icy facade intact while internally weathering an avalanche of social death and humiliation… The barely contained laughter threatened to bubble up again.
Ding-dong!
A faint, almost phantom electronic chime sounded from the living room!
Then, the damned, forcibly muted smart door, with a feeble, faltering, yet piercingly clear mechanical whisper – as if uttering its final, stubborn defiance:
"...System… mute mode… activated… Wishing you… a good… night…"
The voice was weak, broken, like a dying gasp.
"..." Li Chenyuan's silhouette seemed to stiffen into absolute, glacial immobility. The ambient temperature plummeted to sub-zero.
In the Bedroom:
Su Xiaolan sank her teeth into her own fist, stifling a scream of laughter threatening to blow the roof off! She writhed under the covers, shaking with silent, tearful convulsions!
Smart door!
You absolute master of the finishing blow!
You truly understand how to ensure social death is complete!
Li Chenyuan, your day has come! Hahaha!
That night, the salty fish laughed herself breathless amidst her duck sheets, an internal victory dance raging.
While in the living room, the persona-shattered Deep-Sea Leviathan, brutally betrayed by his own technology and enduring life's ultimate Mortal Embarrassment, stood alone in the icy shadow of disgrace, radiating a "stay away" aura (especially directed at smart doors).
The stormy night's forced cohabitation reached its utterly unexpected climax (Social Death Edition) courtesy of the door's "friendly" announcements.
And the seemingly impenetrable ice wall between the Salty Fish and the Leviathan? Crisscrossed by cracks of light (and stifled laughter), courtesy of a cascade of imploding personas, clumsy gestures, and ruthless technological exposés.