Esmae what is your family like I wonder...
My family consist of me the oldest, my sister the second oldest and my brother the youngest. My mother and father divorced when I was 8. Father tried to hide that fact by lying, I never believed his lies unlike my younger siblings who did but I never called him out either.
I remember my mother being kind and affectionate, she was someone who loved me dearly and was a great listener who cared about what I had to say. After the divorce she took a plane to fly back to her home country to live with her family. I have to confess Esmae, I find my thoughts drifting to her from time to time. Where is she now? How is she? Is she even still alive? I wonder if I should look for her.... would she still recognise me if I did? What if her currently lifestyle is best for her? Would I be interrupting her happiness? What if she remarried?
I used to have nightly phone calls with her back then but one day due to an accident we lost her phone number so I have no idea how she is for a long time now. I remember when I was 12 I had a big fight with my father, speaking of which I realised a lot happened to me when I was 12. Moving on, when we reconciled, father told me the truth. He told me that both of them made a promise on their wedding day and if that promise was broken, they would divorce.
He mentioned being surprise that I don't know about the incident since I witnessed it. Apparently mother have been struggling with her mental health but refused to seek help, they promised if her mental health worsened that she becomes a danger to both herself and others, they would divorce.
I remember feeling lost, not fully processing the information I was given. As much as I want to remember the incident he told me I witnessed, I remember nothing.
They divorced on good terms, father never talks bad about mother and always answers any questions me and my siblings have about her. A year or two later, he finally told my siblings the truth. Since then I could tell people that my parents are divorced, It wasn't a bad divorce so I felt as if there was nothing wrong with others knowing. People always assume the worse from divorce but I think divorce can be a good thing, mother needed her family to take care of her and father needed to take care of me and my siblings so they split up.
Even so until now I find it hard to talk about the reason of their divorce since people have such negative preconception of mental health.