So how is your day Esmae? I hope you're doing fine, if not then I'm here. I'll always be here when you need me. I hope you are able to seek comfort from these pages when needed. If you are dong well than I'm happy for you and I'm proud of you. Being fine is something a lot of people take for granted, I hope you are able to cherish your life and continue being fine.
If you mood is in between, then I hope reading this is able to elevate your mood if only slightly. Esmae I adore you because you are you, your traits be it negative or positive in your eyes makes you, you. While you should stay true to yourself, the truth is that you will change either internally or externally. Change can both be loud or quiet, it can sneak up on you and only when you look back to compare yourself, you will see that you have changed. Changing doesn't mean discarding your true self, the best kind of change is one where you improve and become a better version of yourself.
Esmae if you are not doing well, I could tell you things will get better but you probably have heard similar variations many times before. Honestly I would never convey these things unless I can somewhat guarantee it. I have drowned in darkness for a long time that sometimes I can't recall a time before that, but I have never let myself sink without a fight. I've always struggled to stay afloat even today, sometimes I succeed and for a while and my head is above water allowing me to feel the sun's warmth on my skin. Sometimes I get so tired that it feels like the unforgiving sea washed away all the strength from my body and I could feel my self sinking deeper and deeper helplessly.
My days would continue whether I like it or not. Sinking and struggling to reach the surface and hopefully one day even if there is a slim chance I will over come the sea and finally stand on land. If that day comes I can look back and be proud of myself that I survived, that I am able to finally feel alive. Esmae I truly want you to be able to be alive and not just live but to be able to feel alive you must live.