As I yawned, the fool leading them gave a speech that I didn't have the capacity to care about. I ordered our men back and into defensive formations around the dignitaries and after a quick reminder to Sil to do what she felt was right, I walked to meet their force.
When they came to a stop I issued a single declaration. "I don't agree with bloodshed, anyone who wants to live is free to surrender or retreat, I will start with your commander and work my way through the chain of command until a general order is issued." I fully expected some backlash after my grand speech about corpses making poor foundations but I had had that same argument so many times I wouldn't be judged too hypocritical when I was finished.
I then did exactly as I declared I would, luckily only five died, killed in the same way I finished the first three bandits I encountered on my first official bodyguard contract with Fala. A couple were stupid enough to attempt to keep fighting, those men lost only the thumb of their sword hand.
Before dealing with the remaining soldiers, I ripped the banners from their poles and used them as death shrouds, regretting their bloodthirsty foolishness in my final words over them. I then repeated what we had penned in our invitations. "Any who wish to be done with violence are welcome to stay." When everyone seemed unsure I continued, adding, "Any who wish for war or revenge can have what supplies you need for the trip and leave."
I then turned my back on them, and returned to the city where Leeson and Byurik stood ready to assure me I had done all I could, knowing I would take it hard and be wrapped in melancholy and color in equal measure. After asking if there was anyone present willing to return their bodies, I shrugged at the silence and asked Byurik and Leeson to see they are laid to rest respectfully, before stating my intention to return home and requesting solitude until it was time for the summit.
"Will you not celebrate your victory, I admire your reluctance but you should celebrate the lives you saved." One of the representatives asked, making everyone who knew me tense as they knew I was often most unstable in those kinds of situations. So much so, when I began to laugh and they knew I was simply going to voice my grievances with the sentiment, they were filled with relief and void of any concern regarding the potential of offence.
"Saved? I didn't save anyone, I just gave them the chance to be here when the next damn warmonger or tyrant comes to make them suffer, I haven't saved anyone until you no longer need those words in your vocabulary. Now excuse me, humans." The farewell, instilling a profound sense of confusion in everyone present.
Sil reached out briefly, quickly lowering her hand when Sinfree asked why I seemed so much more affected than I had with the bandits, and I explained that with soldiers I never knew if they were following their own path or bad orders. After asking if anyone knew whether I had killed good soldiers or bad men, I tuned out my senses plodding wearily toward rest.
Fate was against me though. Unfortunately, I opened the door to the home I hardly knew and was greeted by Everlith, I made a remark about harlots making poor high priestess', my ill temper making me less concerned with reputation and good relations by the second. Fortunately, my assessment of her playing a role was more accurate than I realised and she laughed at the comment in a way no one meant for her position would.
"Nearly as bad as mass murderers make pacifists." The girl was sweet, practically psychic in her intuition, and an immovable object of will. In short, someone I respected. The most notable thing about her though, was the suffering in her eyes, no matter the mask she wore at the time her eyes never changed though judging by her own demeanour it made me feel like her eyes simply reflected the emotions back at whoever looked into them.
I told her to leave before whispers spread, and asked her to return before the summit the following day with a retainer hard of hearing. Chuckling once more at the insinuation, she joked about the thrill of clandestine activity as Sil walked through the door. I could sense her sour mood without looking, telling her to escort the priestess back since I had no mind for anyone incapable of sincerity.
It was strange, I expected anger but all I got was defeated obedience, catching sight of a curious expression on Evelith's face as I erased their presence from my mind and made for bed.
The next thing I knew, I was awoken with my name, Sinfree informing me my guest had arrived. I went to meet them without delay, ignoring Sinfree's suggestion of grooming myself, I yawned as I plodded to and subsequently fell down the stairs.
Picking myself up at the bottom, waving away concerns for my condition, I righted myself and asked the retainer how hard of hearing they were. When they replied with an attempt at humour I sighed, stating that I wasn't being cute as I requested permission to make them literally deaf until we were done talking.
The retainer was understandably nervous and agreed only because of how much trust she had in Everlith. Taking a seat the high priestess apologised for the unannounced visit and asked if my mood had improved, which earned a bored glare as I asked her if the suffering in her eyes had rendered them useless.
"My mood is never better nor worse, I'd have assumed an empath to see no point in playing dumb." She blinked and asked how I knew, and I told her it was a hard gift to hide in the presence of someone older than everything she knew. Skipping over and disregarding her confusion at the mention of age.
I then asked her to explain why she feels the need to hide her true self and she responded in the same way I had. "I'd expect a master of disguise to see no point in identity." The comment would have usually made me laugh, such barbed banter was the foundation of my friendship with Byurik and Leeson.
"Allow me to drop my disguise then, I want this world to be a peaceful place so I don't have to kill you all." Everlith's expression didn't flinch, and then she told me a god already gave her the details. Which in turn rendered everyone in the house subject to the waves of crushing pressure that were being released from me in light of the revelation.
"Two shall descend, weigh hearts, pass judgement and bring an end to suffering, or so they think. Please stop them, they are being used." I laughed, silencing her with a gesture as she tried to needlessly gain my belief, then explaining that I already knew we were being used and she probably is too.
When she tried to dispute my words, I stood and allowed my temper to get the best of me. "I have held my position for more than ninety-thousand years and across a thousand worlds. I respect you, and do not wish to see you used as we are, in the same way I hope It is not too late for Sil to resign."
She was suddenly speechless, enthralled, paralysed by awe, in the presence of a being older than her civilization. Her bewitchment ended however when she realised that being was telling her not to trust her god, and she asked what could possibly be gained by her god deceiving her.
I explained that the problem with gods was the same as humans, they are unknowable, with the addition of omnipotence they are also relentless. I also summarised the childish, narcissistic, self-righteousness I had witnessed as respectfully as I could.
All the suffering she feels in my presence is the result of a god who despises me, in other words I can't believe anything. "I am a duty, not a man. I judged god, only to sentence myself to an endless existence of self loathing. Desperately trying to ensure I make a difference, only to succeed in nothing but wasting time and continuously failing to change anything."
She then asked me to think about my current incarnation, asking if anything about it felt different. Her question was difficult,every world felt different, but there was something about this one that had me questioning things since the day Sil and I arrived. I listed them all aloud, the mysterious trainee, the unusual amount of information, the perfect start, the laughable clichés, the fact most criminals hadn't committed anything unforgivable, but most important was how close god felt.
"I have felt like god has been standing over my shoulder, ever since that first night here." Everlith then said she wasn't trying to persuade me one way or another, she didn't know what any of it meant herself, all she knew was that there was no way to stop us since even if we were killed we would just move on to the next world.
I considered all she said, and returned to my seat, in spite of all my experience and knowledge, I was clueless how to proceed until something clicked into place for me. I asked her how she knew Sil and I were the ones described, when she said she only pieced it together after hearing about my achievements on the Kanelsian front, then hearing how me and Sil came out of nowhere, I was satisfied with her reasoning but couldn't shake the sense it was misdirection.
"I'll choose to trust you and your god for now." My words clearly surprised the usually stoic high priestess, as she asked what made me decide so quickly. "I have to make a choice quickly, if I don't we'll be paralysed by indecision, your god didn't describe us at all however, which suggests they weren't the one who gave us these bodies."
I asked if she would like to stay in Newland for a time, which caused a reaction with Sinfree. Assuming that Sinfree was put on orders to watch me by Sil, I explained that I needed someone of this world to teach Fala healing magic, then told Sinfree to do as I instructed and keep tabs on Sil. Sinfree tried to refuse but I didn't give her a choice as I told her I was at my limit with conspiracies and secrets.
Then Everlith chuckled behind a porcelain hand. "That's no secret, the girl is madly in love with you. In all our time talking before you left yesterday, her eyes scarcely left you."
I told her she was being ridiculous, there was no room for love in our role, she observed as is her duty. Of course I wasn't blind, she clearly harboured some kind of love, though from everything she had said and done and the way she acted I felt obsessed might be a more fitting word. I wasn't going to get into a debate over the semantics we use in reference to the twisted woman though.
She responded by saying that was possible, explaining her powers didn't touch Sil for some reason, which I shrugged at before telling her she had more secrets than the god who dropped her with me. Evelith asked if she might ask one final thing, telling me not to take her words the wrong way as I nodded, she asked why I stay with Sil if I don't trust her.
"I don't wholly trust anyone, yet despite the lies, secrets and emotional instability, she seems to have some effect on me however and for now I'm happy to tolerate her as I try to understand it." I was referencing the sudden headaches that had been coming as a reaction to seemingly random encounters and exchanges, but wasn't in the mood to go into that much detail then and there.
She asked if I truly felt nothing for her and I admitted to annoyance, distrust and anxiety in equal measures. With that final statement I returned the retainer's hearing, pointed out that she could clearly read lips and that she would be the first to fall if word spreads, then gestured to the door.
"Oh, I shall announce it during the summit also, but I have decided to accept your offer to teach Fala healing magic, of course I will tell Lord Halsan that it was your idea to build a temple in town." It was clear she saw me as an equal, not just in terms of wit and cunning, but in the genuine character we each possessed beneath the social masks we adorned.
I suggested that she keep her distance lest people start to gossip about affairs again, then brushed the door with two fingers to close it as I turned to prepare for the summit.
Leeson and Byurik arrived not long after to check on me, they had never seen me clear headed after killing and wanted to make sure I was of a mind to attend, but when they saw my mood improved they began bantering immediately.
First among them was my seduction of the high-priestess, though they were quick to cease that particular line when I banged their heads together and told them to leave subjects with the potential to cause international incidents
When the time came we left for the summit, the discussion with Evelith apparently more taxing than I thought judging by the ceaseless yawning I repeatedly failed to hold back. Leaning close and whispering, Byurik commented on how fatigued I had seemed since returning and earned a backhanded remark about never getting a moment to rest.
"You know I'm not who I originally claimed to be, I have a job to do, I shouldn't be dealing with every little issue." It was clear just, the snide nipping comment of someone wanting to rest, but the two looked guilty, and I felt a twinge of it myself, born of hypocrisy and the whining of secrets when I held so many.
As much as I would have liked to say something heartfelt and meaningful, they weren't built that way, so instead I suggested that they enjoy the benefit of ignorance and be blissful instead. The insult was compounded by the delay in their recognition of it, but we had to be on our best behaviour as a dignitary turned the corner with their escorts and It was clear that he wanted to say something. I can only imagine my demeanour left him unsure how to talk to me.
Usually I couldn't have cared less, but in this my slights were Halsan's, so I respectfully bowed. "Forgive me, killing brings the worst out in me, especially when it is so unfair a match." He rejected the apology immediately, then gestured for me to give him my ear..
As I did as requested, he told me if I was able to enjoy wielding such ferocity he'd never sleep soundly again, adding that even as I was he nearly soiled himself with my final words. Proving himself to be as mirthful as Leeson, he burst into laughter, then looked me in the eyes with a solemn expression. "Truly though, I only became Lord as a result of my older brothers, father and uncles dying in war. The words you spoke, they gripped my heart, and resounded with me in a way no others ever have."
The Lord then bowed to me, and begged pardon for monopolising my attention, gesturing back to where Sil, Sinfree, Valo and Fala stood. Byurik made a joke about being jealous, but I caught him off guard with a bipolar turn, saying that the only ones I chose to associate with were Fala and Valo, adding that Valo clearly liked him more since she refused my offer.
Sil maintained a stoic facáde but I could tell the words cut deep. Sinfree was clearly expecting a cold reaction after I ejected her from the house. I then approached Sil and scolded her publicly, turning my back on her as Valo tried to scold me in turn before Sinfree halted her knowing it would sour my mood further.
Fala suddenly asked if I was going to not teach her, feeling guilty I knelt down and waved to her to stand in front of me. "Fala, I'm a tough teacher, but I wouldn't even bother talking if I didn't care at all. Besides, I never break a promise." I tousled her hair and suggested she go with Valo to change into her uniform so I can introduce her as my apprentice.
She tried to refuse, but I asked if she would refuse to treat nobles because she wasn't one, and when she promised she would, I told her she should learn to talk to them then. When we finally arrived at the manor, the hall that had been prepared for the summit was still an echoey vacuous space, which was a blessing given my state of emotional flux.
I told Fala to watch and listen, learn how they talk and move, more importantly how they project themselves as people of a higher station. When she asked why I tousled her hair again, I smiled at her. "Because as a healer you are their superior, with their life in your hands, you can't afford to let them shake your confidence. In your eyes they must always be 'the patient' be it your father or the king of a nation."
It was clear the thought made her nervous, which was a good sign she took it seriously. I had to resist distracting her as she mouthed along to conversations, silently rehearsing the healer she would become. When all expected were in attendance, Halsan started proceedings by asking them what opinions they had on our home by that point.
After four or five general compliments, as to not seem over eager, Everlith seized the opportunity to announce her desire to accept my offer to stay and help me train the next generation of healers. Taking a deep pleasure in the crowd's overall response, as well as the drama of it all. Not giving them a chance to express their responses for so long I feared some might choke on them.
As she played out her bit of mischief, she reached a lull however, where I interrupted in order to save the town budget from her games and my ears from a lecture.
"And whilst I sincerely appreciate your offer to spare our fledgling nation the expense of building a temple, I must argue that as a fledgling nation we have a duty to show at least some modicum of independence and insist you allow me personally to put forth at least a quarter of the funds."
For the first time I saw hesitation in the high priestess, I had trapped her in a position of either declaring a representative a liar or accepting responsibility for the costly endeavour, but it was clear Halsan could see the friendly sparring match for what it was. Just as I could see that I was not out of danger, the lecture proved unavoidable.
Halsan made sure neither of us could doubt his certainty that we were treating this gathering as a game board by injecting himself into it as a third player. "And I told you when you informed me, I cannot allow that, so instead we shall make it a unified undertaking, with Abelegia investing forty percent, we will do the same and just to stop the stubborn fool fighting me, he can donate twenty and be your host and guide for your stay. After all he has plenty of room and surely there could be no one better suited to play protector. Of course, I will need proof your father is amenable to the proposal first."
It was at that moment I realised he was still angry, I was still going to receive a lecture far worse than I anticipated, and I had been thoroughly outmaneuvered. The idea I had found myself so thoroughly outmatched in a simple game of political improv was humbling.
We both bowed to the man who defeated us so thoroughly, and as I seated myself I quietly warned Sil that if she decides to have me spied on when our guest begins her stay I would ensure she never sees me again. I then turned away from her again, but as Fala asked if she should be copying my silliness as well, I heard my unwanted dependant and Sinfree quietly leave.
A few others spoke words of praise and concern, then the lord who had approached me stood to speak, saying much the same as he had to me earlier that day but adding something significant.
"With that, and Kanelsia's show of force, I believe Newland to be a fresh light of hope for a peaceful future in the war-torn present." Bringing the summit to the grand finale ahead of schedule, forcing everyone to cast their votes on Newland's recognised status, whether we would be a rogue state of treasonous rebels or a republic built on the courage of the oppressed who managed to claim their liberty.
Evelith stood and rid her earlier declaration of any uncertainty that she was off the same mind. Then my head throbbed, and I jumped to my feet before slamming back down onto the table as I received a telepathic message.
The divine beast I summoned for the wall had sent me a warning, Kanelsia had begun massing forces at the camp, as well as a second large force which was headed south.
I relayed the message as it came, some wondered if word had reached them, but others noted it was far too soon and that it meant the king of Kanelsia must have been behind the original conflict. I had already assumed that man could only have been selected as an ambassador by a fool or a man with ulterior motives, so I couldn't claim to be as surprised as everyone else. Judging by the looks on several faces around the room, I wasn't the only one aware either.
Whilst theories flew in every direction, from every perspective, I stood. I told them I would not take part in the coming battle, which caused a wave of gasps, until I banged on the table before me.
Bang in the centre of everyone's attention, a position I despised, I explained that if I fell, then the wall and my beast would as well. Then the Kanelsians would reignite a war everyone else wouldn't be expecting, leaving no doubt the countries on the front lines would fall along with all the Abelegian missionaries.
With that they all looked in horror and asked what they could do, and I advised their immediate departure, citing that if they fell their homelands would hold us responsible regardless. Adding that they can also warn their homelands about the potential reignition and minimise casualties.
Halsan declared the summit at a temporary end, saying that if Newland survives the coming battle he would invite them once more, then wished them safety should we fail.