The wooden table in the mine's main admin building creaked under the weight of scrolls, papers, and a few empty mugs of questionable black liquid someone insisted was coffee. Lucien sat at the head, sleeves rolled up, shirt slightly unbuttoned, eyes gleaming with confidence as he pointed at a sketched map of the Ashlands.
"…And if we can secure a trade route through this valley," he said, tapping a point near the eastern border, "we can link to the southern kingdoms without having to go through three black market middlemen and a smuggler named Grumpy Vic."
X'zelle pinched the bridge of her nose. "Grumpy Vic is a menace. Last shipment we sent with him, he tried to marry the caravan leader and eloped with half the silk."
Ignara leaned forward, her brow furrowed in a rare moment of visible concern. "I still say this plan is reckless, my Lord. You want to go beyond the Ashlands, alone, into potentially hostile territory. We can't risk you being assassinated or worse, captured. It's too dangerous."
Before Lucien could answer, the double doors burst open with a dramatic crack, and Val strode in like a victorious warlord. His shirt open, tie dragging behind him like a lazy scarf. In one hand he held a massive roasted boar leg, still steaming, and in the other, a jug of thick, brown gravy.
"Don't stop on my account," Val grinned, dropping into a chair like a collapsing monument. He raised the jug high and poured it generously over the meat, gravy splattering his pristine vest and pants. "Carry on."
The team stared.
He began gnawing with disturbing enthusiasm. Grease glistened on his chin. The table creaked under his bulk.
Lucien cleared his throat. "Right. Where were we?"
Ignara slammed her fist down. "We were explaining why this entire idea is batshit crazy!"
Val paused mid-bite. "This sounds fun."
X'zelle gestured to the map. "No demon lord has ever left the Ashlands outside of wartime. The moment you cross that line, you lose your protection… your aura, your magic, everything. You'll be a walking target."
Lucien exhaled, then glanced at Serenith, who leaned against the wall sipping a glowing drink. "I'll have Serenith with me. That's divine-grade firepower."
Serenith scoffed, wings fluttering. "Oh yes, because a glowing angel flying over enemy territory won't draw any attention. That's as subtle as setting a brothel on fire and calling it 'subdued ambiance.'"
Lucien threw his hands up. "I need to go. This isn't just about diplomacy. I need to see what's out there. Infrastructure, shipping lanes, black markets, merchant guilds… if I'm going to build a kingdom that lasts, I need proper, legal, stable trade. I can't do that from behind borders and shadows."
The room fell silent, except for Val, who belched like an avalanche and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm.
"What's the fuss?" he said through a mouthful of meat. "Lucien wants to leave the pit and stretch his legs. What's the worst that could happen?"
Serenith gave him a look. "He gets murdered in an alley and his skull ends up on a pike outside some royal gates."
Val blinked, then nodded. "Right. Forgot humanoids are… squishy."
Lucien opened his mouth to respond, but Val waved a hand.
"I'll go with him," he said, casually. "I'm not bound by this territory nonsense. You all saw what I did to that hill yesterday."
"You ate it," Ignara said flatly.
"Exactly," Val said, raising his boar leg like a sword. "Nothing out there's gonna mess with me. I'll keep your little overlord, and my investment, safe."
Lucien grinned. "It's settled then. I'll spend the next few days tying up loose ends here, then Val and I take a little road trip. Fact-finding, trade-talks, maybe some light seduction."
The rest of the team collectively groaned.
Vex and Vile, the twin troublemakers, launched themselves at Lucien from opposite sides.
"You're leaving us?!" Vex pouted.
"For two weeks?!" Vile gasped.
Lucien wrapped his arms around their waists. "It's not goodbye. And I'll give you the full package before I go."
Vex licked her lips. "With all extras?"
Vile wiggled her eyebrows. "And snacks after?"
Val rolled his eyes so hard they nearly spun into his skull.
Across the table, Ignara cleared her throat. "Ahem."
Lucien glanced up. "Yes, dear?"
"Full package," she said, crossing her arms, "or I strike."
"Same," X'zelle added, her stone-cold demeanor briefly cracking with a smirk.
"M-Me too," Veyra said softly, cheeks slightly red.
Lucien laughed, kissed both twins on the head, and looked around the room. "I shall ensure all my beloveds are thoroughly satisfied before I vanish into the civilized world."
Everyone sighed in mock ecstasy… except Serenith, who groaned audibly and dropped her forehead onto the wall.
"What about me?" she muttered.
Lucien blinked. "Wait… you want the full package too?"
"NO!" she shrieked, spinning around with a horrified scowl. "I mean, supervision. Oversight. You're not supposed to leave the Ashlands. That was the deal. You're technically on parole from eternal imprisonment. You have a divine contract, remember?!"
Lucien waved a hand. "The demon lord can't leave."
He leaned back, smirking. "But I'm not the demon lord once I cross that border. I'm just Lucien Vale. A simple traveling merchant."
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're going to get us all smited."