First a little disclaimer before you start.
*This in not a story of a reincarnator who ends up in the fate world with cheats and all that shit or a reincarnator at all.
*This is not AI assissted(apart from the cover that was indeed made by AI) in writing, I busted my ass off trying to write this, I know it's probably not the best and has some errors around but if u leave bad reviews at least write them while giving advice on how to improve or a constructive critique please it would help me a lot
*this story takes place after fate stay night(as for which one it is just read it and you will eventually know as we go forward)
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[1st person pov:???]
9th of February 2004
FLUTTER FLUTTER
I wake up as the first rays of the sun get in my room.
As I got up I gave a quick look around the room, everything looked "fine" so I just got out of bed and went to the bathroom. As I washed up my face to draw away the drowsiness–
THUD
–something fell in the sink.
"..."
As I looked up I saw the now completely broken mirror in front of me. It used to be a normal mirror until 6 years ago someone "accidentally" broke it and it ended up never being replaced as the orphanage director said it worked just "fine" and it did. It was kind of true as in the beginning it was just cracked and could still see my face but as time went on more and more pieces started falling.
Nothing "special" about it.
I turned off the tap as I picked up the shard and threw it away in the trash can and got dressed for school. The hallways around this part of the orphanage are quiet, like usual.
I make my way to the dining hall, where breakfast is already set out, the food is "good", just as always. The others are already sitting, talking in groups, some laughing, others arguing. They're "alive", full of energy.
I sat alone.
Finished eating my meal.
And then I got up to leave for school.
The air outside is slightly cold, as it should, being already February, though the snow melted long ago as we weren't really that close to the nord of the country. I made my way on the sidewalk. All around me people came and went as they started their day, some "vibrant" and some "dispirited".
And finally I've reached my destination at the school entrance already flocking with students of various classes mostly "annoyed" by the fact they will have to sit through another day of lectures but still "excited" to meet with their "friends" and spend their time with them.
Walking inside with the others I reached my class. After walking past the entrance of the classroom one of my classmates leaning on the wall nearby with some of his "friends" greeted me as I passed by.
"Good morning ▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅."
"Good morning, Sato." I greeted him back courtly before reaching for my seat, sitting down waiting for the lessons to start
A few minutes later the teacher came in to start the homeroom, after he was done we started with the day's first subject and slowly time passed till the end of the school day.
***
STEP STEP STEP
After the end of school hours, I made my way back to the orphanage. On the way while I stepped through the crowd I could hear the sounds of people sharing their day's "happy" moments or some "disturbing" news, nothing "unusual".
CHATTER CHATTER
"Hey, did you guys see me earlier, I was totally a beast like for rea...." Some boy talking "proudly" about a soccer match he recently played.
CHATTER CHATTER
"Another gas leak in Miyama and Fuyuki!?! What's this bullshit? It's the 5th or 7th time this week!" An adult man complaining about the incidents that happened in another city.
"Yes, thank God we don't live near there. But maybe, we should really get some technicians to come look at our implants. What if something like that happened to our house?" The woman walking by his side, sharing in his "worries".
"You've got a point, I'll see what...."
CHATTER CHATTER
"Hey girls, did you see the episode of Magi☆Mari?"
"Yeah she's so cool."
"Can't wait for next Saturday's episode. I wanna see if she finally defeats the evil Marshall of Magic."
"Yeah he's been a real pain in the butt for 2 seasons now….."
A group of young girls talking "excitedly" about their favorite show.
CHATTER CHATTER
As I made it closer to the orphanage the noise slowly died down and things got quieter and finally I made it to the entrance.
I opened the door and made my way in, heading for my room, no one else was there other than the lady cleaning the common area, after all everyone else was still out.
I made it to my room, put my things down and started doing my homework "diligently" until about an hour later I was done with them and went to take a shower.
DRIP DROP
'It's the same routine everyday.'
I closed the valve as I finished my shower and started drying myself. Once I was done I got dressed and laid on my bed to wait for dinner as I had "nothing" else to do as it was still 5 pm.
TICK TOCK
TICK TOCK
TICK TOCK
After an hour I got up from the bed. Time passed slowly as "usual" but it was now time to go have dinner. So I went to the dining room, then I repeated the same pattern from this morning but changed the destination to my room as it was time I went to bed, slowly waiting to fall asleep like "always".
THUMP
'It's the same routine I do all the time everyday and yet...'
As per "usual" I've been making this reflection for as long as i can remember. Because-
'-I don't understand it.'
***
10th of February 2004
FLUTTERFLUTTER
I woke up as the first rays of the sun got in my room.
And yet again I repear the same routine like always....
***
19th of February 2004
FLUTTER FLUTTER
I woke up as the first rays of the sun got in my room.
The routine's unchanged...…
***
15th of March 2004
.....nothing has changed as per usual.....
***
4th of April 2004
Today as well nothing changed. The routine's the same. The faces are the same.
It's all the same.
And yet I still cannot understand any of "it" even after living through it every single day. I'm 11 years old this year and yet even after all this time I still cannot truly comprehend the meaning of any of those "things" they are simply beyond my comprehension.
CHATTER CHATTER
"Hey man, let's go play soccer later."
"Aight sounds good but this lets make the teams more balanced or it's not fair."
"AHAHAH sounds like someone is being a bitch huh."
"OI gimme a break..."
Children planning to have fun.
CHATTERCHATTER
"I really can't do it. I'm working 3 jobs already and yet it's barely enough to pay for my family SNIFF at this rate I'm gonna die."
"Fuck why is everything so hard? Everyday just keeps getting worse."
And adults complaining about their jobs
CHATTERCHATTER
No matter how much the arguments changed, the end result was the same as always. Whatever it was these "Joys" and "Miseries", "Happiness" and "Sadness" or "Thrill" and "Boredom" it didn't matter as it made no difference. After all, I understood none of it for as long as I can remember. I've never felt an inkling of any of them.
It was just beyond myself.
***
9thof April 2004
Something "peculiar" happened.
On my way to school a small group of people on the sidewalk were looking upward, seemingly "concerned", as I passed by what caught my eye was a figure on top of a building.
A man in his twenties dressed in an office worker's uniform. He gave a brief look to the sky before redirecting his gaze to the ground. He turned his back to the edge of the building before suddenly letting himself fall from the rooftop while spreading his arms.
SPLAT
His body crushed on the ground and some blood pooled around the man's body, soaking into the cracks of the pavement. His expression is frozen but not in pain, not in "fear", but in something else. Something that once again I couldn't grasp.
MURMURMURMUR
"God… did that guy just commit suicide?."
"Oh my god! someone call the police."
"BLEERCH What the hell?!BLEERCH ."
Now that I think about it, I've heard of people like this here and there but this is the first time I've come across one of them. But why did he do it?
Confused, I turned to the closest person I could find, an old man hunched on a bench, watching the scene with "tired" eyes.
"Why did he do it?" I asked.
He looked at me, startled, as if surprised by my question. Then, with a sigh, he answered. "Some people just can't bear to go on anymore. Life's hard. So, I think it's either because they can't see the joys of living their lives anymore or they lost their reason to keep on living or maybe even both. It's truly sad that even so many years after the war ended young ones continue dying."
"I see, Thank you sir."
"Umu, It's no problem, have a nice day kid."
I nodded and turned away from the old man as I walked away from the scene. But all I could think of in response was:
'Just for that?'
The day passed as it always did. I went to school. People talked. People laughed. People complained. People were "living". Meanwhile I thought back to what the old man said.
Some people just can't bear to go on anymore after they lose their reason to stay alive or can't find any more "joy" or "happiness" going forward.
A reason to stay alive, huh?
I have none honestly.
I wake up, I eat, I go to school and so on and so forth and then repeat. I don't understand "joy". I don't understand "sorrow". I don't understand some of the things people say or do, only that they say and do them. I follow a routine because that's what I was taught in the orphanage. But that isn't the reason I live for. It isn't the purpose. It isn't anything.
That man must have had a reason, once. He lost it. He must have felt "happiness" as well at some point in his life. But he also lost that. So he ended himself.
But then… What about me?
If someone who had so much to live for chose to die when they lost it....
'Then by that logic what should I do?'
It was a natural question I had to ask myself because after all I–
"–have no such things."
In the first place if we follow this line of thinking then someone who has never had one of either should have never been alive to begin with.
It was a simple, rational conclusion. Maybe even a fact. Which meant that….
"I… should die?"
Yes. That makes sense.
Just that.
But suddenly–
SIZZLE
–I felt a strange discomfort in my right hand.
Faint, but still there nonetheless. A dull, lingering heat beneath my skin. It wasn't pain, not exactly… it's just there, like something foreign that wasn't there before and got inside my skin.
I glanced at my hand but there was nothing. Shortly after the discomfort started dissipating so I didn't pay it any more attention. I had something else to do.
'Yes, I guess that settles it.'
As I made my decision I got up from my seat and headed outside as the school hours had ended earlier than usual as the teacher was sick today and I was "free" to go.
The streets were the same as always. People passed by, lost in their own little worlds. Talking. Laughing. Complaining. Brooding. "Living".
But just for this time I didn't pay it any attention as None of it mattered.
My feet moved on their own, carrying me forward. I needed to find someplace high. Somewhere high above in the sky. The logic was simple, falling from a great height led to death. The man from this morning had done the same.
It was the most sure way I knew of, that prevented some sort of last moment life saving rescue to save me, as long I didn't wait for people to notice my presence on a rooftop.
'The orphanage roof was too low and the same applied for the school. A nearby office building would work but I can't use the same one as the man from this morning as there's the chance of some police officer still lingering there.'
So I took the road in the opposite direction of the incident from the school and I finally found what I was looking for. A tall office building with an emergency stairwell that led to the rooftop.
'I guess, I'm lucky.'
No security. No locked doors. That saved me the problem of convincing someone to let an 11 year old onto the rooftop of an office building.
And finally I made it to the end of the stairs.
CLICK CREAK
The rooftop door swung open, revealing the city bathed in the afternoon's light. A vast view stretched before me, a good portion of the city could be seen from here, from the main streets to the local attractions. But ultimately they are distant and unrelated to me.
I stepped over to the edge of the rooftop.
Wind tugged at my clothes. The height is enough, this should guarantee my death, there's absolutely no way a human could survive after jumping from here. The warmth in my hand pulsed again, much stronger than last time. It didn't matter.
I lifted my foot as if trying to step on the air but then.
WHOOSH SIZZLE
Suddenly I took my foot back as a gust of wind came from my back together with golden bright flashes that morphed to a rainbow colored light. I turned sideways to look at the scenery before me, winds blew into my face but I ignored the discomfort in my eyes due to being shoved with air and stared at this seemingly "impossible". I saw as the rainbow slowly took the shape of a "man" and the burning sensation crawling in my hand intensified even further.
The radiant figure bathed in light spoke as it slowly took shape and directed his attention to me.
"Hm? Are you the insolent mongrel trying to cling to this king's radia–"
It didn't matter though, I couldn't get distracted now.
I jumped from the rooftop.
"–HUH!?!"
For a brief moment, as gravity took hold of me, a single thought passed through my mind.
'I didn't know some people(?) could appear out of nowhere.'
Then the wind swallowed all sounds as I fell. And the next thing I knew–
SPUURT SPLAT
–Everything went black.