Anupap prepared dinner with fluid movements. He made simple dishes for himself—stir-fried vegetables and steamed eggs—while preparing tom yum soup with shrimp and spicy squid salad for Atikom, who was attempting to play the role of kitchen assistant by washing vegetables.
"Gently now. Don't bruise the vegetables," Anupap couldn't help but worry.
"Yes, sir, Director," Atikom teased, turning with a mischievous smile. "I'm washing limes."
"I meant when you were washing the cilantro." Anupap remained stubborn. The other man smiled knowingly, deliberately nodding with exaggerated understanding.
First he wanted Anupap to be his personal manager, now he wants him to be a director.
"Did you think I wasn't gentle enough?" the seasoned detective muttered softly under his breath.
Atikom's phone rang. He quickly wiped his hands, pulled his phone from his pants pocket, and stepped away from the kitchen.
…..
"What's up, Tongrob? Why are you calling to bother me?"
"Hey, hubby! Haven't been able to reach you for ages—when I call, your voice sounds like a lime without juice. I'm inviting you to Andy's party. Andy just won the top male model contest and is about to become a celebrity."
"If you want to go, go alone. What's it got to do with me? I don't even know your Andy."
"I'm inviting you because of your drug case investigation too. There's a suspect who'll be at the party. Don't you want a lead?"
"I can't go," Atikom smiled. "I'm at the beach house with Khun Nu."
"What?" Tongrob's voice rose. "Well, well... you're not so bad after all. But tell me... have you two... you know..."
"Mind your own business. Personal matters are none of your concern."
"But you used to tell me everything before."
"If there's nothing else, that's enough. I need to help Khun Nu cook. About that drug thing—you gather information for me."
Atikom hung up and turned off his emergency phone, knowing full well that Tongrob would call back for "round two" within a minute to annoy him further.
...
He stood talking on the phone in the living room, watching Anupap's back in the kitchen, separated only by wooden slats. Anupap hadn't turned to look at him, still absorbed in cooking.
Atikom quietly walked back into the kitchen. Anupap glanced up briefly, then returned to his cooking. Atikom felt awkward—those eyes seemed to ask, "Who were you talking to... why did you have to step outside?"
"Uh... Tongrob called to ask what I was doing... but I already hung up," Atikom found himself rushing to "report," not knowing why.
Anupap said nothing, glancing up with a faint smile before returning to work.
"I told him I was helping you cook."
Anupap remained silent, pointing to the bowl of lime juice. Atikom picked it up and brought it over.
"We talked about the case a bit. He invited me to a celebrity party where there's a suspected male model who might be buying drugs."
Anupap nodded in acknowledgment, turning to face Atikom with a slight raised eyebrow.
"I have two phones. The number you use to call me has been turned off all day today, and the other is an emergency number that stays on twenty-four hours a day for important matters only... 085-255-6235, in case you want to know. But I've turned that off now too, so no one can disturb us."
Atikom felt like a defendant, suddenly rushing to explain everything.
All day, he'd kept his phone off because he wanted to rest and be with Anupap. This morning, he'd even urged the young man to turn off his phone.
"Khun Nu, you can speak, you know."
"What should I say?" Anupap finally asked.
"I don't see you asking anything."
"Ask what?" Anupap's voice remained even, his hands moving skillfully as he seasoned the food.
"Ask who called, what about, why I had to take it outside, and..."
"Why ask? You've already told me everything without being asked," Anupap lifted the tom yum pot from the stove, its fragrant aroma filling the air, then placed a wok on the burner to stir-fry vegetables.
Atikom sighed, not understanding himself—just one glance from Anupap and he found himself spilling everything. Those eyes seemed to hold some power, like a command to answer questions, extracting truth.
If only the suspects he interrogated would confess this easily... just one look... and they'd start talking.
"Captain, you're in the way. Wait outside," Anupap moved to get something from the table. Atikom stood beside him, blocking the path. Anupap's shoulder brushed against his chest unintentionally, sending a wave of heat through him at the contact with the young man's warm, firm body. His face flushed, warmth spreading through his stomach.
"Hey, I was your assistant just a moment ago."
"Now I'm almost done, don't need you to be in here now," Anupap teased.
"Crue. I'll remember that," Atikom feigned hurt, then moved to sit on a chair in the corner of the kitchen near the door.
"Smells delicious."
"Detective. After we eat our fill, you have to wash the dishes," Anupap alternated between calling him Captain and Detective. Atikom was too lazy to correct him. In his heart, he wanted Anupap to call him 'darling' more than anything, or at least his name instead of using his rank.
"Let's wash together. If we eat together, we should clean together. You wash with soap, I'll rinse with water, then we'll dry the dishes together."
"I cooked, so you wash the dishes. That's fair. Otherwise, You have to make breakfast."
"Just kidding—I've never cooked once in my life. We might both go hungry," Atikom scratched his head.
"Then tomorrow morning we eat separately," Anupap smiled broadly.
"I can skip breakfast tomorrow. I didn't eat this morning either—missing it again tomorrow won't kill me," Atikom pretended to pout.
Anupap smiled... the big man was sulking.
***
Their banter concluded just as dinner was ready. Atikom suggested eating on the front porch. He ran out to prepare the area, then returned to rummage through the house until Anupap followed.
"Are you done yet, Captain? I'm hungry. When will we finally get to eat?"
"I'm looking for candles," Atikom continued searching.
"Then keep looking. I'll eat first—the food's getting cold," Anupap headed to the kitchen and began carrying dishes to the front porch.
He smiled slightly when he saw Atikom had set up a table on the porch under the wooden pergola. Two white chairs sat close together instead of on opposite sides. The table was covered with a rather wrinkled white cloth—probably retrieved from some drawer. Anupap pulled a chair to the other side of the square table.
The young detective's voice carried from inside the house.
"Wait, Khun Nu! Let me light some candles to make it romantic."
"I think turning on the lights would be easier, brighter, and we could eat sooner."
Atikom stood at the doorway, staring at the dining table where the chairs were no longer in their original positions.
The detective squinted at the hungry man.
"You're ruining the atmosphere."
Anupap smiled, unconcerned, and sat down to eat.
"Between romance and a full stomach... I choose the latter." The young man's eyes sparkled with satisfaction at getting to tease Atikom for once.
In the end, that evening's dinner concluded under amber electric light instead of candlelight.
***
"This was the most delicious home-cooked dinner ever," Atikom spoke softly, smiling broadly with sparkling eyes.
"I wish you would cook for me every evening."
Anupap turned to watch the sea washing against the sandy shore. The young man had anticipated Atikom would say something like this.
"Khun Nu..." Atikom called. "You're sitting quietly again. Do you want me to keep talking to myself?"
"If you're tired of talking, then stop."
"I don't want to stop. I want to talk."
"If you want to talk, then talk. Why complain?"
"I don't want to talk alone. I want to have a conversation with you."
"I'm still full... not convenient for talking." Anupap leaned back in his chair, rubbing his stomach.
"Right, the wind hits your stomach. Let out a burp—it'll help," Atikom teased.
Anupap rolled his eyes. Just a moment ago he was being romantic. This man... he's unbelievable..
"Khun Nu, when we get back to Bangkok, could I sometimes come have dinner at your place?"
Atikom began pressing harder. Anupap was stunned, not knowing how to respond.
"My condo doesn't have a kitchen."
"Liar. I know you have a kitchen."
"How do you know?" Anupap asked.
"Well, uh..." Atikom stammered, nearly revealing that he'd asked the housekeeper who cleaned Anupap's room, that Anupap cooked often, but caught himself in time.
"I just know," he said, knowing what Anupap would say next.
"Oh, I forgot—you're a police officer, so you investigate until you know everything."
"Something like that."
"..."
"Khun Nu. I don't want all the good things that happened at this beach house this weekend to end here. I want them to continue... in Bangkok... in our daily lives." Atikom decided to press closer. He couldn't wait any longer. Soon Tongrob would tease him for being awkward, missing opportunities, being lame, finding all sorts of ways to mock him.
…..
He reached out to take Anupap's hand. The young man tensed slightly as if to pull away but didn't. Atikom gripped tighter.
"You know how I feel about you. Give me a chance. If you don't feel anything for me right now, at least leave the door slightly open for me."
Anupap didn't realize his face had reddened. Fortunately, Atikom couldn't see clearly in the dim amber light from the porch lamp, though he could see the young man's flustered expression, eyes cast down at the table.
Anupap was speechless, not knowing what to say. His ears rang, barely hearing the sounds around him. His heart fluttered with worry that Atikom might confess his love.
He wasn't ready. He didn't know if he could erase the past buried deep within him, or when... It was impossible to have the images of two young men—Atikom and Chavis—overlapping in his thoughts every night when he lay down to sleep...
He still couldn't erase Chavis's image from his heart...
***
The two went for a walk along the beach. Atikom wanted to hold hands as they strolled, but he forced himself to resist, fearing Anupap would feel uncomfortable. He chose to walk with hands in pockets, slowly pacing alongside Anupap, watching the sea, watching the evening sky drift by without verbal conversation, not wanting any sound to disturb the silent communication between their two hearts.
Silence. two people conversing without words. The young detective felt his heartbeat synchronizing with Anupap walking beside him. Their shoulders brushed occasionally.
The slightest physical contact created more excitement for him than any intense, passionate encounter with anyone throughout his playful romantic past.
Atikom smiled at this brief moment of happiness now etched in memory.
He had no awareness that the image of one man, faintly overlapping with his own in Anupap's thoughts, was about to become a tangible presence...
***