She never really thought about this deeply, as Ava paid attention to the class, Raphael continued scribbling on the board. Raphael went on a long ramble about Quantum Field Theory, the most difficult subject in academics.
Ava listened to the teacher and thought, "I cannot believe how complicated that is. The math—well, it isn't easy. Maybe I can try to recall what I know and see if I understand… Hmmm, interesting. Maybe I underestimated myself. Let me see if I remember what exactly a fermion is."
And upon accessing her hybridized-computer-like semantic memory, pieces were found together - it was a group of elementary particles responsible for being the building block of atoms, possessing a half-integer spin.
Raphael continued with the lecture; her mind was having difficulty due to the abstract and non-mechanical nature of the lecture. Quantum field theory assumes that atoms by nature have a field-like nature to them, quarks and stuff, even extending to fermions and bosons, also considering the gravitational field
Her mind has been wandering on the existence of beings higher than herself; she continues to ponder on magic. Her computer-like thoughts struggle to understand or grok the vastness of this abstraction. Guess not every genius gets to understand certain qualias
Ava wondered, "What do they mean by higher powers? What does it mean when they say they will return? Are they talking about aliens? Regardless, my quest for knowledge must uncover the truth about these so-called Gods."
Ava's cybernetic mind tries to make sense of the lecture, but it falls flat as it just ends up trying to compute the advanced mathematics behind it. What she can do, however, is to recall it in memory so it will make sense in the future. Soon enough, the class had already been dismissed.
And so she made her exit away from the educational building and onto the streets, where there were skyscrapers with futuristic qualities from a distance, and the ecosystem was healthy, filled with trees whose grass was verdant, and the oxygen was breathable instead of polluted.
And around the towers are the skyroads, and within them are the gliding gravity-suspended vehicles allowing humans on the surface to traverse around the city.
And as she walked, she stumbled upon a library, willing to take matters into her own hands. She read books on the Manga genre that are largely apocryphal to this world - if not different. Ava indulged herself in the genre of romance, the rusty ones, Science fiction, and other aspects of comics to her interest.
She relished reading comics and novels; she ought to procure comics and novels to her heart's content, and there are various things she has stumbled upon, one was 'Spectral Knights', another involved romance drama involving unrequited love.
Her heart's contents were delighted upon witnessing the complexity of human nature. Soon, she got bored with reading comics and headed to the exit of the library.
Indeed, there are also ships, flying ships, cruising around the city like a blimp.
As she continues to walk through the road, every step she makes, the stomp of her legs makes a sound as if time is slowing down, sightseeing the beautiful ecology of the world she is in, flying drones and cars, skyscraper-like towers, even the beautiful breathable oxygen - it was beautiful to the point she couldn't stop walking and gazing.
As she walked and appreciated her environment through her senses, a thought appeared in her mind.
Ava pondered, "What is the meaning of love? How do I understand emotions or connect to a higher state of myself? What is magic?" She continued to question herself as she walked.
Suddenly, something clicked in her mind, an idea that she must bring forth while her feet mobilize, making noises as she loses herself to her mind.
The more she feels and thinks, she senses a very odd sense of belonging, but she feels destined to seek more, as if something was missing.
It begins to transcend whatever thought she may have beyond the computability and mathematical complexity (even transcending Game theory), based on the memory of comics or novels she took a brief time observing.
While buildings imbued with specularity are seen through her eyes, she is pondering the entertainment she had filled herself with.
Ava continues to observe the humans to see if they resonate with the entertainment she had indulged in for a while.
Her observation continues to observe forth, as her deep-green eyes looked at the intricacies of humans, her mind attempting to do statistical analysis on them. For instance, she sees children playing with their parents (well, one in particular), she continues to stare at it for a while, her somewhat automata mind classified this as 'Parental love'
Soon Ava lands her gaze on a couple, yes, you heard that right! a 'couple', this particular couple appears to be loving one another. Her eyes lay on them, she notices a part in men that seems to border in intensity beneath the exterior of a lovely relationship, one appears to be a beautiful lady in her 20s with blackish hair and brown eyes, the male, on the other hand, appears to be a lean body type standing 5'12 with tan skin.
This beautiful lady asked if she could go buy an ice cream. The male went with a resounding, "Yes", as if he wanted to please her. As they went to an ice cream cart nearby, the male paid through virtual cash through his card.
The currency is called 'Credits'
Ava continues to observe, seeing if her mind can classify this dynamic. She was expecting it would be romance, but a surprising find was then made.
The deep computer analysis shows 70% percent doable truth – 30% appears to hinge on idealization. From the analysis, the male appears to be enthralled by having her as his missing piece of the soul, as in love with the idea of having her by his side.
Has it occurred to Ava that this person in some way desires her and idolizes her, a material for his compensation?
"No", Ava denies to herself.
"This doesn't seem extrinsically true in the slightest." Ava looked again and saw the male gazing up at his companion, his romantic partner if she were his pet.
Ava introspects to herself, "Hmmmm, maybe I am overthinking something. Could this be what they call 'Obsession' that people have gossiped about trivially?"
Ava continues to observe until the male looks at her and furrows his brow. In response, combined with the social conditioning of society, makes a solid retreat and disappears, leaving the couple alone.
Ava walks away from the encounter she had the slight pleasure of observing, one that sparks curiosity – Ava can see that the female's delicateness would make a man like him feel like a protector, but it was not of 100% certain that something like an obsession bordering on idealism would be plausible.
Ava was in deep thought, her mind trying to decipher the underlying nature, but only met with futility in the search for penetrating truth.
No amount of processing would it take for her to finally parse the following observation and event. Bit by bit, even surging through every novel and comic she recalled during her recent solo novel entertainment in the library.
Ava continues to walk, her mind trying to make sense of it. In her own eyes, she sees visual interfaces and the synergy of her biological grey matter and her cybernetic mind processing it with ostensible faculties.
Her brain's gears were rotating as she walked and processed the encounter. As soon as the analysis was complete, her mind was very empty; she had no thoughts at all, no feelings to even experience.
She was empty
Steps by step, all meticulously in her thoughts, but slowly growing inwardly incoherent over time.
She was still seen walking through the streets with all the flying cars coasting through the skyroads and the height of the towers.
She observes the superficiality of people, some with plain futuristic clothes, the petty politics in play with those who desire power in the game or government. In here, everything behind the simplistic minimalist life is nothing but sunken – there was only emptiness. Has science in this world gotten static? Have our questions about life and meaning become null?
In ways that only a divine leader or higher being can lead these people into spiritual fulfillment, but cut that part out of the equation, whether it be fiercely teleological that we require a spiritual representative, yet people decide to seek it with other means
One would need to survive on one's own virtues or talents to rise and seek the apex of what humans in this world are benign to seek after.
(Ava's mind): There are many things that I have realized after observing humans, I seek to understand the plane of existence – the platonic realm of humanity, but I am not there yet and I do not understand, I can feel empathy but I fear its fakeness and the need of belonging but at the same time I am not human, is it because of my nature? For as I know, most people in this world have procured cybernetic implants or perhaps just cybernetic in nature."
(Ava's mind): I will seek my place in this grand tapestry of life! But how do I find what it is for me?
Ava endeavors to find her place in this world; even if it's not apparent to her, she will seek to find the true meaning of life beyond the materialistic confines, even beyond her species.
Her feet make their moves as she entertains her soliloquy and protagonist-like declaration on the fly.
Whether her life threads on a bad fate or a good fate, it's up to one's free will or predeterminism that is set upon her in this expedition of identity.