Once they got off of the train, they immediately noticed that everyone else aboard the train was walking in the same direction. They were inside. Ahead of them was a hallway, so of course they would have to walk through it, just like everyone else.
Lexi stood on Dean's left, holding his hand tightly both to guide him, and remind her that she was there. It seemed to help, as she turned to face him, and noticed light in his eyes that wasn't there before. It could just be because his eyes are wet from crying, but his whole body language suggests that he's starting to feel better.
Lexi continues to stare at him curiously as they continued moving down the hallway. Her eyes darted around his body, trying to understand him and what he's truly feeling.
He remains silent. She does too.
She feels an empty feeling hit her like a wave. Despite her efforts to not react to the feeling, you can't always control how you act. She takes in a deep breath and shakily lets it out. Her hands begin to sweat and her stomach hurts a little. All of this is overshadowed by the gray feeling in her heart.
Lexi (Inner): Be strong. He needs you to be strong.
Dean silently yet quickly pulls his hand away from Lexi's. Her sweating had begun to bother him. Yet despite this, he continues to silently face forward, lost in thought.
The feeling of emptiness in Lexi is only amplified as Dean pulls his hand away. Her eyes begin to water but she quickly dries them with her sleeves. She looks down at the hoodie she's wearing and is filled with hatred. A storm of emotions bashes her entire body, but she presses forward, determined to comfort Dean in his time of need.
Lexi (Inner): It's in the past. It doesn't matter anymore. Move on from it. Be strong.
The emotional turmoil weighs itself on her. Eating away at her mind and body, until it becomes overwhelming.
Lexi (Inner): I want to hold his hand… But he won't let me, will he? I just want to hold someone… No. That's not true. I want to be held. No! That's not true either. I… I don't know what I want! I don't know what to do! Just forget everything and be there for Dean. He needs you more than you need anything.
The hoodie on her body feels like a weight. A furnace of malice. A reminder that love isn't real. She claws at it gently to not raise any suspicions from Dean. She desperately needs to take it off. Her earlier jab finally coming back to torment her. Remind her of the past and the possibility of an awful future.
She's broken out of this haze upon hearing Dean's quiet voice. She almost doesn't recognize that it's his voice. Most of his speaking mannerisms are absent, and it seems he's gotten used to his missing tooth, so his lisp is nearly gone.
Dean: Eleven days.
She looks over at him and drops her hands. Her eyes dart down for a second and notice that his hands are in his pockets. She tries to speak, but her voice is cracked from pent up emotion. She clears her throat and responds.
Lexi: What does that mean?
She picks her words carefully, as to not make Dean uncomfortable or assume something false. It's easy for anyone to understand how delicate Dean is in this situation. So Lexi talks to him with care, like he's going to shatter at the wrong word choice or tone.
He looks back at her with a slightly embarrassed face, like he meant to say that in his head.
Dean: Until the concert.
Lexi: Oh. Yeah… Of course.
She looks away from him, her attention shifted to ahead of them, where people have stopped walking, and begun to line up. She can't immediately tell why people are lined up, but she knows it's obviously best to follow. Her eyes quickly glance back over to Dean, who is still staring at her. She sighs and looks forward with an uncomfortably confused expression.
Dean: You okay?
Lexi (Inner): No… But…
Lexi: Yeah of course. I'm just worried about you, that's all.
Lexi (Inner): Be strong for him.
As they stop walking and enter the line of people, Dean turns his whole body to face her. Lexi continues to face forward, unable to look him in the eyes. She worries if she does, she won't be able to hold in her feelings any longer.
Dean: Why?
Her head immediately snaps to face him, her earlier emotions shoved into a corner by confusion.
Lexi: What do you mean "why?"? Because of what happened back there dude! It's horrible. I can't imagine how you must feel.
His body relaxes as he smirks. Lexi's whole body knows that his smile is fake, but it looks so genuine that it's hard to tell.
Dean: I'm fine. Don't you remember what that mother said? I did a good thing.
Dean (Inner): Why am I lying? Of course I'm not okay. Of course this feels like hell. So why am I not telling the truth? I… I'm embarrassed, aren't I? I'm scared of how she'll react, even though I know she'll support me. I don't want to talk about it, so I lie with the hope that we can move on from the subject. If I don't talk about it, I don't have to think about it. And then I can be who she needs me to be.
Lexi forcefully pulls his hand out of his hoodie pocket and holds it tightly. Her earlier emotions return, leaving her in a flustered, yet panicked state. It feels warm and safe, but also burning and painful. She's doing it for herself, but also doing it for Dean, to reach out to both herself, and to him. She stutters over her own words, and hesitantly pulls her hand away. An arrow of emptiness is shot into each of their chests at the lack of touch.
Lexi (Inner): Why am I reacting like this!? I can't still be hung up on her! I won't allow it! She was a total bitch and didn't deserve me anyway! Get yourself together Lexi!
She takes a second to compose herself before speaking again.
Lexi: That isn't a good thing, dude. I mean like, yeah sure it had a good impact on that mom, but not you. You're allowed to hurt. You don't have to hide it. Okay?
Lexi (Inner): Hypocrite.
Dean: I told you, I'm good. You've already seen me at my worst. So what reason would I have to hide how I feel?
Dean (Inner): Please just let it go.
He faces forward and takes a step as the line moves. Lexi moves forward with him, but her gaze never leaves.
She tries to speak but nothing comes out. She sighs and turns her body forward as she puts her hands deep into her pockets. Her fists clench tightly. Her nails dig painfully into her palm, but she doesn't care. It's not out of a need to inflict self harm, or to feel something. She does it purely out of frustration. It's an attempt to let out her feelings, without making them known.
Coincidentally, Dean also clenches his fists, but for a completely different reason. His mind, overwhelmed with thoughts and fears, begins to fidget uncomfortably. So, he channels this fidgeting into his hands. The one part of his body that he can release this energy without anyone knowing.
Dean (Inner): I'm scared. I don't know what I'm doing, or how the future is gonna turn out. I'm just blindly betting everything on the impossible outcome that I'll be with Ashley after the concert. And for some reason, no matter how hard I try, I can't imagine anything else happening. I know I need to be realistic and come up with an actual plan for the future, but it's hard. I can't do it. I do want to change the world with my power, sure. But that's a long term goal. Not a real plan for living.
Lexi (Inner): Just say something already dude. Stop being weird. This is super awkward.
When they finally got to the front of the line, they were greeted by a woman at a desk. To their right was a doorway leading into a lobby of some sort. At least from what they could tell. It almost looked like she was a receptionist at a hotel.
Receptionist: Hello there! Welcome to your new home! At least for the next month…
She muttered the last part under her breath. Dean and Lexi raised an eyebrow in perfect sync, both completely unaware of their harmony.
Receptionist: As I told the people ahead of you, despite our society being divided for hundreds of years, our government is still relatively in its early stages. We've introduced leaders and rules and currency and other things like that. But you may have been wondering during your trip here: "How exactly am I going to start this new life of mine?" Well don't worry! That's what we're here for!
Dean (Inner): No wonder this line took so long. Does this lady really have to tell this same story to everyone? How does she have the energy?
Lexi (Inner): Couldn't she at least do this in groups instead of one by one? It'd be a hell of a lot faster that way.
Receptionist: This building that you're about to enter is sort of a hybrid between a homeless shelter and a hotel! Since we want to keep homeless rates as low as possible, anyone who doesn't have a place to stay can stay here! Granted, the rooms aren't very great. But food is delivered right to your door every day! But it isn't a lot, so don't get your hopes up! In short, we are here to give you a temporary home so that you don't have to stress about things. Your job however is to find a job and raise enough money to buy a house within a month!
Dean: A month!? A whole house!? How!?
Receptionist: Relax, relax! Houses aren't too expensive. Plus jobs are very easy to come by! Unlike in that other half, am I right? Hehehehehe! Anywho! Once a month has gone by, you're out! We like to keep homeless rates low, but we have a lot of people coming in and out of here! Hope you understand!
Lexi: Hey dude. We're still kids. You can't just kick us out. Aren't there rules against that?
Receptionist: Unfortunately there aren't any such rules! Very unfair, I know! But in a situation where you are kicked out, and haven't found a job yet, you can always look for a kind soul to take you in!
Dean lights up a little at the idea, enjoying the possibility of going back to normal life with a family. Lexi however, has a completely different reaction. Her face turns bleak and she tenses up a little. Dean looks over with a concerned expression. The receptionist lady just laughs it off, clearly not wanting to spend any more time with the two.
Receptionist: What an odd couple you two are!
She leans to her side and opens a drawer on the desk. A jingling sound is heard, like she's sorting through keys, which she actually is. She's picking out a room for them to stay in.
They both have the same reaction to her words. Their eyes widen and they tense up uncomfortably, with a somewhat grossed out look on their face. Neither of them would ever consider the other a possible romantic partner, but that doesn't mean their bond can't be really close. Plus, it is really easy to understand how someone could make the assumption that they are together.
Lexi is the first to calm down after only around three seconds. She takes a deep breath and nervously chuckles. Dean takes a few more seconds to compose himself though.
Lexi: Well we're actually-
The receptionist cuts her off.
Receptionist: Alright! Here ya go! The key to your temporary home! I trust you two can find your way there?
She dangles the key out like she's baiting them to grab it. Dean reaches his hand out and takes it. To his surprise, the receptionist actually lets go, despite her demeanor a few seconds ago. He looks at the number on the key for a second. Once he memorizes it, he puts it into the right pocket of his shorts.
Dean: Yeah we should be good.
Lexi: Thanks…
Lexi gives her a threatening stare as they walk off. Her harmful intent is clearly feigned, so the receptionist pays no mind. She laughs it off like before.
Receptionist: Have fun you two! Not TOO much fun though, ya hear!? Hahahahahahahaha!
She squints her eyes and clasps her hands together, to create an all around annoying image. It's unclear whether being seen as irritating like this is her intention or not, but it definitely does the job.
Dean groans silently and stretches his back a little. Lexi looks annoyingly frustrated.
Lexi: Ugh! Why was she so "blah blah blah blah blah!"!? I hate it!
Lexi flaps her hand, clearly mocking the receptionist. Her tongue is stuck out and she waves her head from side to side, trying to look as stupid as possible, to really show off how ticked off she got from the receptionists extravagantly over the top personality. Dean chuckles at her act.
As they walk to where their room is, they chat and laugh like their earlier mini-feud has been forgotten, when in reality, it hasn't. It's just that neither of them want to bring up that topic again, for relatively the same reason.
Dean (Inner): I don't want her to think I'm weak and that she has to take care of me.
Lexi (Inner): I don't want him to think I'm weak when I'm supposed to be there for him.
As they got to their room, Dean unlocked the door and was granted the first look at what it was like. It was bad. The room was extremely cramped. There was a twin size bed with no pillow or blanket, and a really stiff couch. There was a little dresser where a tv would normally be in a hotel room. There was no window. There was however a ceiling fan that doubled as a light. Upon entering, there was a door on the left that led to a bathroom, which was also quite cramped. It had a stand up shower, a sink with a small mirror, and a toilet squeezed in between.
Dean: I think I saw a sign that said there was a washer and dryer down the hall. It probably costs money, but I'm sure we can get a few bucks, right?
As he spoke, he set their plastic bag of supplies down on the dresser and flopped onto the couch. His hopeful expression instantly turned sour as he realized how hard it was.
Lexi: Yikes. Do you want the bed then? I don't mind sleeping on the couch.
He sits up and looks at her with a determined face. Lexi is still standing awkwardly in the doorway.
Dean: Absolutely not.
She finally steps inside and closes the door with her foot as she enters. She stands in front of Dean and rests her hands on her hips as she tilts her head with a somewhat annoyed look.
Lexi: Just because I'm a girl don't mean a thing, dude.
Dean looks down but continues to stubbornly refuse.
Dean: Even still. You've already done so much for me. I couldn't possibly take the bed from you.
Lexi: Dude the bed probably sucks butt too! Actually…
She kicks off her shoes and carefully lays her body on the bed. She faces the ceiling as the mattress envelopes her.
Lexi: Wow okay it's actually super comfy.
Dean: See? You can sleep there.
She turns to her side, lifting her leg up and giving her head elevation by pushing her hand into her cheek, which is held up.
Lexi: How 'bout we just take turns then? Easy peasy lemoneezy!
They both chuckle.
Dean: Yeah okay. I guess that works. You can have the bed for tonight then.
Lexi: Deal!
He stands up excitedly. Lexi remains laid down, but turns her attention over to him curiously.
Dean: Wait okay I have an idea.
Lexi: Like what?
Dean: So since food will be delivered to us everyday, we don't really have much of a need for the food I bought the other day, do we?
Lexi: I guess not, but it'd still be good to have just in case. Like what if the food they give us is super crappy? Or if it's like super itzy bitzy rations?
Dean: Well yeah. But I think we'll be fine. It's still food. Better than nothing right?
Lexi: Yeah yeah okay whatever. So what's your whole plan then?
Dean: We go around this hotel thingy offering food in exchange for money. We can then use that money on the washer and dryer so we can wash our clothes!
She stands up and playfully punches him in the arm.
Lexi: Now you're talking! Let's do it!
They each take a few pieces of food from the plastic bag and head out of the room. They both go in different directions, and go door to door, offering their food in exchange for change. It surprisingly doesn't take long to get enough. In fact, they run out of food before they reach the end of the hallway. Once finished, the group back up at the room.
Dean: Alright so let's wash our clothes!
Lexi's face suddenly looks dead, like she had a grim realization. Dean tilts his head slightly, looking confused.
Dean: You good?
Lexi: How are we gonna wash our clothes when we don't have any other clothes to change into?
Dean: Huh? What do you mean? Ooohhhh! Yeah you're right. That is a pretty big issue, huh?
Lexi: Yerp!
Dean: Hmmmm… Okay wait. I'll just wrap the blanket around myself and go out there to wash them.
Lexi: Sure okay.
Dean: So you go in the bathroom and throw your clothes out here. Then you can take a shower.
Lexi: What a smart fella you are! Making it so you can't see me naked. What a fine gentleman indeed mhm yes yes.
They both giggle as Lexi gets up to head to the bathroom. After a minute or two she opens the door a little and drops her clothes out. Dean walks over and puts them in the bag, which he emptied out prior. He then begins to take off his own clothes and put them in the bag too. After that's finished he tightly wraps the blanket around himself and heads out of the room. Right before he leaves, he hears the sound of water running from inside the bathroom.
Once outside, he walks towards the washer and dryer, completely embarrassed by his appearance. He keeps his head down most of the time and crosses his fingers that no one will see him.
Thankfully, things go smoothly, and Dean is able to return to the room, where Lexi is sitting on the couch with a towel wrapped around her.
Dean: You're done already?
Lexi: Dude literally! The water got cold after like five seconds.
Dean: Ugh. Whatever. I'll take one anyways. I'll stay in the bathroom until our clothes are ready.
Lexi: You sure? I don't mind you being out here. I wanna talk.
Dean: Yeah I'm sure. We can always talk through the door. I just… don't wanna accidentally see something.
Lexi: Yeah alright. I guess that's fair. Ya goofball.
As Dean steps into the shower, cold water splashes down on him like a waterfall. He shivers at the sensation, but overall enjoys it. Just the idea of taking a shower on its own is incredibly refreshing. Plus, he would've set the water to cold anyways. The feeling of warm water covering his body would've made him sick. The warmth of it would remind him of blood. That image is disgusting, and would no doubt make him puke in the shower. But the cold water is nice.
The only soap in the bathroom is the small bar of soap by the sink, which he hesitantly uses to wash himself.
Dean (Inner): Better than nothing I guess.
After a few minutes, he turns the shower off. Instead of getting out, he curls up on the shower floor and thinks to himself.
Dean (Inner): Why am I so scared of the future? It's not like I really have one anyways. I can't think past the concert. Do I depend on that concert to judge what the rest of my life will entail? If so, I need to grow the hell up.
He squeezes his legs in his curled up position. It feels more like a rough pinch, but the pain in itself isn't enough to break him out of his daze.
Dean (Inner): I've always been so irresponsible. I'm not ready to face the real world how it is. Despite how much I hate them… All I want is to go home and see my parents. Maybe if I actually spent time with them, instead of being cooped up in my room all day, then they would actually love me. Maybe it isn't their fault that they disowned me. It's mine. After all, I didn't give them any reason to give a single shit about me. I never did. All I ever did was whine, and be by myself. I never appreciated anything they did for me, and I always talked back like I owned the damn place. I was a terrible child. I deserved their punishment.
His self-deprecating ramblings are interrupted by Lexi speaking.
Lexi: What's up dude? How you doing in there?
Dean: Fine.
Dean (Inner): It's like she always knows when I'm feeling down. I don't want to tell her how I feel… But I can't help but feel comforted by her voice. Like she's the only person who really understands how I feel, despite us only knowing each other for a few days. She's the only person I've ever felt truly comfortable with.
Dean: Hey, Lexi?
Lexi: Yeah? What's up?
Dean: I don't mean this to be weird or anything. But I love you. As a friend obviously haha! But you're genuinely like the only person who I could ever consider a true friend, even if we only met the other day. And I love that. It's like a true connection. You get me.
Lexi: I… Please… Please don't say that to me.
Dean: Why? I thought you wanted to feel truly loved and cared for? Wasn't that what you meant when you said you don't believe in love because you've never been in a loving environment?
Lexi: It's too far gone for me to feel loved. Thank you but… I don't accept those words. I don't think I ever will.
Despite her being on the other side of the door, Dean is able to tell that she's curled up too.
They both sit in silence, separated by ideals, but together by circumstance.