At least, I was pleased I acted like this. Of course, it also has the positive side that it helps him to laugh again.
I couldn't say it. Just appreciated the way back. He is so kind-hearted. Never found another to describe something so smoothly. Lucky me.
He smiles jokely. I still wonder, he took it as a joke that I didn't know him before the wedding. I was happy to see his unexpected reaction. Some moments were going like it should. Thanks to God, he didn't get any hurt from my rudeness back then. And I gave him no right to get hurt either.
I looked at him and saw he had just removed those eyes from me. I was actually wondering, am I dreaming? He was staring at me the whole time while I was thinking those! NO way.
I saw him holding his eyes down like nothing had happened. Fine, I loved it, by the way. At least, removing himself from the zone he wanted and turning into my side's is another peace after the wedding. I never got anyone to waste my time on. Never got anyone to hurt me like those did to him. They were bullshits. The corner of my heart knows there was something hidden that will let everybody think I am right to give a lot of feedback about them. I just wonder how they would react.
I let it go and looked at him. I wanted to tell him but wanted those holding to keep remaining, too. He was thinking something. I shakes my hands off, and I bother, "So, do you have any another thing to ask?" I was mad to ask. "N-no. Not for now. I will if I want to know something." He told me.
"Now, close your eyes, take some rest. You need it." I told him cause as much as I know he has a lot of pressure on his head. It was never easy for a bride to marry an unknown guy and sacrifice the family even packed everything to be settled miles away forever. All he needs is rest, now. For thinking peacefully further.
I didn't ask for permission. I extended my chin and kissed his temple. Sometimes, I think he does not need it. Sometimes, I think I might be wrong.
He closed his eyes, and I covered him with the blanket. I started stroking his hair. I just wonder, I would face a battle with those hair. And it might cause me a dead-end pain. He didn't tell me anything, nor did I give looks. For the first time, I was waiting for it. But I found him sleeping peacefully. If my caressing helps him to fall asleep, his holding hands would help ME to fall asleep, too. But I choose not to. I released it. It made me think of the thing I don't want to remember. I don't want to touch those hairs.
He was sleeping quietly. I am just missing some wry looks.
I can not sleep quietly. My mind shouts for the one I wished I could hold hands while sleeping. If I do so, I will not find him in the morning.
Each time I wonder, a few hours at least help him to forget about his pasts and pressures. Give him some reliefs. That is a huge positive side. Until I do any good thing to him that will remain the only way for me to help him to get some peace. How cheap it sounds!
He fell asleep, letting all his depressions fly away at once. Till dawn. I was trying to fall asleep, looking at the ceiling. But couldn't. I was remembering a few words I heard as a passer by, wondering if it was true. As I got no feedback for him back then. I let it go just because it was about him. I can measure the hate I used to show towards him. For no special reason. Just one strict captain back then irritated me with the voice and consistency. I have no right to judge him. That's why I ignored him and his stuff most of the time.
But I was passer-by,
Luka Modric killed them after his appearance on their life.
He was the only reason why they never can get the hold of it.
It was never their fault. It was Luka who gave the blame.
They are so strong that a stupid from Croatia tested and failed.
He was never yours- insert it sharply in your brain.
Heard those meaningless lines. I never wanted to peep through anybody else's gap for getting the answers. Why would I care about him years ago? He wasn't my anything. Just a footballer, I know cause I know every footballer. But those things have eaten everyone up. No one still stopped talking about them. Things from the World Cup have been flied around me. I didn't ask. Euro is on the way, I am wondering what would I see next.