"Logan, my old friend!"
Old Hawkeye walked with a smile towards Old Man Logan, who was mending a fence on his farm: "I brought some gifts for my son, the latest game console and batteries—they were, when they were still in production."
"What are you doing here?" The aged Logan asked, hammering a wooden stake while looking at Hawkeye. The latter's smile faded: "You know why."
"For revenge."
"For justice."
Logan sighed, drove in the stake, and wiped the sweat from his brow. In the distance, he saw two people sitting on Hawkeye's well-maintained Spider-Buggy. They looked somewhat familiar, but he was old.
He couldn't see clearly who they were.
He couldn't even smell who they were.
"To hell with justice, Clint."
Logan stood up, looking at his old friend: "Justice died 45 years ago, goddammit. Only fools still think about justice."
"That's not necessarily true, Logan, I also brought two..."
Suddenly, something red flew out of the Spider-Buggy and landed headfirst in the ground. Logan silently stared at the red butt sticking up in front of him for a long time, then finally choked out a phrase.
"What the fxxk?"
"Yeah, it's me, your old pal Wade. Can you pull me out of your dirt?"
Logan looked at Hawkeye again.
"Where did you dig this guy out from?"
"He didn't just come out of some corner," Hawkeye said a little awkwardly: "He's from another universe, along with another Spider-Man."
Spider-Man?
Logan looked at the black-suited Spider-Man who got off the Spider-Buggy. As he walked closer, the symbiote suit receded, revealing the classic red and blue costume underneath.
Logan rubbed his eyes.
"So Reed Richards was right, other universes really do exist. And you think, with two young kids from other worlds, you can end all this?"
Even if Red Skull, now the President, died, there were still others: Doom, Magneto, even Banner. These monsters had already taken over this world. Never mind if these two could help Clint get his revenge; even if they did, would this world truly become better?
"Actually, we're just here to find a girl. Once we find her, we're heading back." Deadpool pulled his head out of the ground, then dusted himself off. Peter walked over to old Hawkeye's ear and said a few words. The previously speechless old Hawkeye's cloudy eyes lit up again, and he chuckled.
"No need, Logan. How to do it is my business."
Old Hawkeye laughed, took out the money he earned from this escort mission, and handed it to Logan: "But we still need a guide, right? Who knows where old Banner is. If we take care of that guy, you'll pay less rent each year. Even if we die there, you can drive this cool Spider-Buggy back and sell it. No loss either way, right?"
Logan looked at them, and after a long silence, he pulled the game console from old Hawkeye's hand: "I'll go tell Maureen and the kids."
Watching Logan go back into the house, Hawkeye smiled and asked Peter, who had given him the idea: "Do you think if he follows us all the way, he'll have a change of heart?"
"I don't know."
Peter shrugged: "But it's better than now, right?"
A few minutes later, Logan emerged, wearing a jacket and a hat. He simply said "Get in the car" coldly. Then Hawkeye smiled and led everyone into the car. Logan, as the guide, sat in the passenger seat, while Deadpool and Peter sat as usual in the back. After starting the Spider-Buggy's engine, old Hawkeye, in high spirits, turned on the car's stereo.
All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray~ I've been for a walk on a winter's day~
As night fell, the smell of roasting meat wafted from the Hulk Gang's territory. In the Final Battle 45 years ago, even the villain alliance couldn't defeat the Hulk. Red Skull unleashed dozens of nuclear bombs on the Californian wasteland. The intense explosions and nuclear radiation didn't kill the Hulk, but they completely fried his brain. From then on, the Hulk became a true monster. The first thing he did was rape his cousin, She-Hulk Jennifer, in the ruins of the nuclear blast, because she was the only woman who could withstand the Hulk's power.
After that, the Hulk's bloodline continued on the wasteland. Under the guidance of their monster daddy, they became a new generation of monsters, a group of intelligent, utterly wicked scoundrels.
Logan thought this, leaning back in the Spider-Buggy and drinking. Those three suicidal idiots had found a nearly empty-tanked car halfway and driven off, leaving Logan a few kilometers away. If they wiped out the Hulk Gang, they would return safely. If not, Logan could escape from a few kilometers away.
Logan drank half the bottle of wine, sighed at the silent distance, then got into the Spider-Buggy and drove towards the Hulk Gang's encampment. Halfway there, the night suddenly turned to day. Flames erupted from afar, followed by a mushroom cloud spewing from the gradually extinguishing fire, and finally, a deafening explosion roared out.
"Oh my..."
Logan knew it had begun.
An unmanned old heavy truck crashed into the Hulk Gang's encampment, carrying all sorts of bombs that Deadpool and Hawkeye had painstakingly put together. These bombs might not kill Bruce Banner himself, but they would have no problem killing the green-skinned offspring he spawned.
"Oh my God!"
Deadpool, riding his motorcycle into the sea of fire, pulled out his two Adamantium swords. Ordinary weapons couldn't kill these bastards? No problem, I, Wade, have special treasures!
One by one, the Hulks who weren't at the explosion's epicenter hadn't even gotten up before Deadpool decapitated them. Deadpool stylishly sheathed his swords, performed a classic Akira slide stop in the middle of the fire, then patted his butt, looking at Spider-Man, who descended from the sky and kicked a Hulk's spine in half: "Seriously, Spidey. With Wade here, you just need to hold them down. I'll do the killing!"
"I'm not sure if they even count as people anymore."
Peter glanced at the cooking utensils overturned by the bomb's shockwave and the skeletons inside, which the Hulk Gang had been preparing to feast on.
"I'm just sure if I really went all out, I wouldn't have much psychological burden."
Before he finished speaking, an arrow plunged into that Hulk's head. Old Hawkeye stood handsomely at the very edge of the battlefield.
"Then leave the dirty work to us, kid."
Actually, there are at least four versions of the Wasteland universe. Although "Old Man Hawkeye" and "Wasteland Avengers" can be loosely connected, they contain countless bugs. Therefore, all details mentioned in this book's Wasteland universe are paramount.
The song Hawkeye is listening to is "California Dreamin'," an American anti-war anthem from the Vietnam War era.