Clint Barton, codenamed Hawkeye, former Avenger.
After the war that ended everything 45 years ago, there were no more superheroes. Barton was now just an ordinary bodyguard, earning a bit of money by escorting goods for his employers. He had just fought a Multiple Man, a former X-Man who tried to rob him. Everything should have been perfectly normal, until his last arrow, an arrow from the never-missing Hawkeye, went astray.
This shouldn't happen.
"Oh no, don't you dare..."
Watching the Multiple Man escape, Old Man Hawkeye narrowed his eyes, but a sudden, inexplicable gunshot made him wary again. The Multiple Man, who had fled into the distance, collapsed, his head shattered by a single shot.
He heard two voices from his memory, voices that should have been very distant.
"Do you really have to kill someone the very second we arrive in this universe?"
"Come on, Spidey, everyone knows this is a classic movie trope—the protagonist doesn't finish off the villain and then causes a ton of trouble. Trust me, that old man should be thanking us. Besides, this is Multiple Man; this definitely isn't all of his duplicates."
Hawkeye rubbed his eyes; he couldn't believe what was before him: Spider-Man in a symbiote suit, and Deadpool? He initially thought he just had presbyopia, or perhaps he was old enough to be hallucinating?
Until he heard his employer ask him: "Do you know these two, Clint?"
Yes, Spider-Man and Deadpool, they really appeared before him. Were they ghosts from the past, or a miracle of resurrection?
"Peter? Wade? Is that you?"
A very awkward silence passed between Spider-Man and Deadpool, then Deadpool laughed, slinging an arm around Spider-Man's shoulders.
"Wait, you have the same name as that paste-pot Peter?"
"If you say 'paste-pot Peter' again, I'm going to stuff your head into a rock."
"Oh." Deadpool's head practically leaned against Spider-Man. "You're so kind, you don't even want to press my mutant gene suppressor button."
Alright, Hawkeye was sure now. This was Spider-Man and Deadpool. There was no mistaking it.
A few hours later.
After completing the delivery commission and confirming with an old friend, the former vigilante "Doctor Midnight," that he had glaucoma and would soon go blind.
"So, you're Peter from another universe, I mean Spider-Man and Deadpool? Looks like you're still wearing Venom." Old Man Hawkeye glanced at Peter in the rearview mirror, offering a kind piece of advice: "Listen to an old man, what you're wearing isn't good stuff."
"We get along great. I know Venom has some side effects."
Hawkeye was about to say something else when Venom's head popped out from Spider-Man's body: "Yes, we get along great."
Truly the multiverse, where all sorts of strange things can happen.
"So, you're here because you were affected by some Web of Destiny and came to find this universe's Spider-Man?"
Hawkeye sighed with a sense of emotion: "Too bad, you're 45 years too late. This universe's Spider-Man died 45 years ago."
"Actually, the person I'm looking for is a Spider-Totem, it doesn't need to be my own counterpart. I know who she is; her name is Ashley Barton, old man."
Hawkeye suddenly chuckled. Ashley was his daughter with one of his ex-wives. If she was a Spider-Totem, wouldn't that mean she'd become a new superhero in the future?
While this wasn't strictly true, it gave Old Man Hawkeye a sense of comfort and hope. As for Peter, he still didn't know why the Web of Destiny had brought him here. The last time the Web of Destiny trembled was because the Spider from Universe 42 went to Earth-700.
But the Wastelands universe doesn't have any involvement from other universes' storylines, so how could it trigger the Web of Destiny?
Looking at the surprisingly silent Spider-Man in the rearview mirror, Hawkeye asked with concern.
"Why do you seem so down, Peter?"
Hawkeye didn't mention whether it was because of the "paste-pot Peter," as the guy was wearing a symbiote now, and his temper could be unpredictable. But perhaps that was good; the Wastelands needed a bit of a fiery temper.
"Well... one minute I was swinging through New York City with a girl, the next I had to pull this guy out of a pile of superglue and bring him here." Peter sighed helplessly and painfully: "And then he kept telling me, from the street to Baxter Building, that I should wear red."
"Of course Spider-Man should wear red, just like Deadpool should wear red," Wade said, completely unconcerned by Peter's complaints: "Hey, old man, where are you taking us?"
"First, to visit an old friend, then we'll go home... to my daughter's place."
Hawkeye said as he drove the car near a farm. A seemingly robust old man was repairing his fence. Wade looked over and exclaimed: "Why do all Wolverines have to look like Hugh Jackman now? Ever since 2000."
"Like all Deadpools have to look like a cross between a Shar-Pei and Ryan Reynolds?"
"Shut up! You three-faced freak!"
The two spoke while watching Old Man Hawkeye chat with Old Man Logan. Wade, naturally, continued the conversation.
"Generally, this is where the protagonist lives a peaceful life and doesn't want to come out of retirement. Then, they'll definitely have events like their last good friend dying, or their family dying, to make him pop his claws."
"You think Logan is the protagonist of this story?"
"Hey, Logan's popularity is only below yours, and on par with that WWII boy scout." Wade looked at Peter: "Between a Wolverine comic and a Hawkeye comic, anyone knows which one sells better, unless the Wolverine comic sells big first, and then they release a prequel comic for some derivative character."
Peter shrugged; that was indeed true. He looked at Wade and asked: "Do you think it's better for him to come out or not?"
"Aha, you want his help, but you don't want to ruin his peaceful life?" Deadpool laughed: "Think about it, either he lives like he is now, with his heart as good as dead, or he awakens as I said, with his heart even more dead, making him suffer immensely. Those are the only two outcomes for this old guy."
"So, if he could join us now, perhaps it would be better?"
Deadpool didn't intend to answer, but then he saw Spider-Man staring at him and suddenly realized.
"Wait, you're not planning for me to..."
Then he was kicked out of the Spider-Buggy by Peter.
Actually, there are three motor mouths; Hawkeye's comic persona is also a master of self-deprecating humor and talks quite a lot.
In Marvel's popularity polls, Spider-Man is consistently first by a significant margin, while Wolverine and Captain America are consistently second and third by a significant margin. Yes, Captain America can consistently rank in the top three of Marvel's popularity list.