[Unnamed character #1]
I'm a "gifted child" they said.
When I was at my highest point, I was always the top of my class.
Countless medals have hanged around my neck. Countless praises always came out of my relatives mouths, running and running off without a doubt. Countless awards have been given to me.
But that child is long gone. The spark I knew wasn't there anymore. My life is nothing but a deep void, a deep dark void. Where I can't find someone to reach for help, where I myself is lost. I want to get out, I wanna end this suffering.
My parents continues to fight everyday. Their nonsense words wants me to keep away.
I have hit rock bottom, I'm disappointed of what I have become. It hurts a lot, but there's nothing I can do to fill this empty void, I've become so blunt. The candle has been burnt, never meant to be used again.
Another damn day, when is this suffering gonna end? I woke up, tears still falling down my eyes.
I got up, got ready, and headed downstairs.
The house was quiet.
Mom is in the kitchen and dad is in the living room. It seems they have fought again. My mom's eyes was still red while she prepares breakfast. Dad is clearly trying to calm down fast.
I somehow understand why they're acting like this. It's natural for people to feel suspicious and starts throwing questions at their partners, their already stressed up partners anger will only fuel up because of that restless doubt.
I just wish they could understand each other, it's like they don't even try, they don't wipe their cries.
I have no energy to talk and it looks like they have no intention of starting a conversation either so I'll just take a walk to soothe my bruised feelings. I can't bare the tension in this melancholic house.
As I was about to open the door, my mom suddenly called me. "Darling, your coach told me that you're not attending your training these past few days anymore. Care to explain why?" Her voice is still hoarse, probably because of all the nonstop yelling.
I stopped. "I'm not feeling good and I just don't have any energy. I hope you understand..." They should know why I was acting like this. Are they pretending or are they actually just oblivious?
"You should attend your trainings nonetheless. We're paying for it so don't waste the money." My dad said.
"Okay, I'll do it..." I immediately left the house and finally took that morning walk.
The air is cold. I walked for half an hour and think about my overflowing thoughts. It's too many, I have so many questions that keeps me up all night. I should stop overthinking but how?
I walked and walked and walked until I reached the sea full of memories, I wish they had never flee. I stood on the beach, the sand lies between my feet. The breeze whispered, "Maybe it's time to go home".
I stepped closer to the endless sea, feeling the cold water of this used to be wonderful paradise. Now, it's just a reminder of my past self, her traces still lingers here and every time I step on this land, I can feel all the unwashed disappointment of others and my own hands.
After being reminded of the past, I walked away and followed another path. This time, I walked into a library, filled with books that goes beyond the skies.
The librarian was an old lady. No grandchildren, no husband and no relatives with her, just her black cat.
She was sitting behind the desk, reading a book, her black cat on her lap and tea beside her. She didn't even bother looking up. It's weird, not a lot of people visits this library.
I explored the library, it's not big but not small either. It's cozy and it feels like I'm visiting my grandparents, I miss them.
I was scrolling through the books when I found a book that caught my eyes.
A fairly sized and kinda thin book. I grabbed it. The beginning of the book doesn't have a publisher or any sorts of things they put on a book to know the publisher's information. No writer written, but there's a dedication. "To my most beloved" I'm assuming that it's a love story.
I found a seat I was comfortable with and sat down. The story was absolutely cringeworthy, but was fun to read. I was never a fan of romance novels, I found them cheesy, common and too predictable, which is true in some cases, but this one made me laugh and giggle for the first time in I don't know how many weeks.
The female lead was so awkward and she gives me second hand embarrassment. When I laughed again, the librarian shushed me...we were the only ones in this library, but I guess she was getting disturbed. I straightened my face, then realized I have to go to bed to escape the reality in a normal way.
I stood up, went to the front desk and said: "I wanna borrow this book." I said demanding.
The librarian's brows furrowed, she looked at the title and adjusted her rectangular glasses with bit of lead. She looked at me and laughed, her serious face completely gone. I stood there silently. "Take it, you don't have to borrow it." She smiled at me.
I kinda felt excited at this moment, I forgot how long it is when someone gave me something. I forced a smile. "Thanks." I took the book and went home in the darkness.
I put on my headphones on, listening to electronic music, my favorite genre as I walked home. It's so ethereal and unreal. It heals my core self.
Back at home, I slammed my body to my bed, I was physically, mentally and emotionally tired so I fell fast asleep and dreamt of not having a not-so-good life.