Edmund's POV
Before I even realised it, my hand was already clinging on to her wrist. Not because I feared she might run away from the situation but it was me silently begging, hoping every single action I did would succeed in persuading her.
My eyes studied her body language searching for signs, be it hope or loss. I was already calculating in my head, assessing if I might have ruined all my chances but the thing I fear losing the most, was the little trust I have built so far.
"Am I hearing this right?" She asked. "Because it sounded as though you anticipated my memory loss, which is weird considering you were surprised I had three," she added and tilted her head to look in my direction.
While her voice was calm, it was dangerous. It was to a point where I could not find my voice to even hesitate. I shut my eyes, cursing internally for running my stupid mouth in a heated moment and at the same time, out of fear as I would hate if she misunderstood what my eyes were trying to convey.
"So?"
I only managed to shake my head without any clarification. My eyes and my lips remained firmly shut as though my silence would make everything alright. But the longer my silence went, the more trembling my hand got. Make no mistake, for that trembling does not belong to me. It was hers. SHE was shaking with anger.
I braved myself to take a peek and instantaneously, my heart lurched and my stomach dropped. The uncomfortable tingling sensation that ran its course within my body sensed the danger as soon as my eyes saw the fiery gaze demanding an answer. Even my body knows if I kept quiet any longer, I would lose the very person I tried so hard to protect.
But how was I supposed to explain when she was already having a hard time believing me the moment she regained her consciousness? Or the times when I begged her to read the book to get the answers she wanted and that ended up her spiralling?
The level of distrust she had for me was an all time high and it got even worse when she found out we were married in the short time we knew each other. Adding this bit of information was no different than adding salt to a wound and to be honest, things were not looking good for either of us, especially our marriage.
"Fine! I'll take your silence to my own interpretation then!" She turned to walk away, clearly agitated by my quiet protest but my hand that was still hanging onto her wrist, anchored her in place.
"Please don't go. I'll explain everything," I finally found the courage to say, still unwilling to let my grip loosen.
"You had your chance!" She tried to wriggle herself free but to no avail. This time our role switched and it became a soundless continuous battle on her part while I rambled with my pleas. By physical default, I was the obvious winner.
"I know. That was stupid of me. I agree!! But please… I swear I have my reason. Please!!! Give me some time and I'll explain everything." I poured my heart out, vomiting all of its content hoping she would see my point of view.
My heart was racing madly that I could hear each of its thumps on my eardrum. My initial fear that she might run off if she found my words to be hard to believe seemed so insignificant now. Because at this rate, she might run off regardless of my answer. Right from the beginning, I was never given the option to win her heart at all.
"I admit everything you heard and said is true. But I can promise you, they are all facts! I swear!!" I blurted everything out but she had not given up fighting my grip against her wrist. "Please, Maisie!"
One final but failed yank of her wrist, she hushed, "Why don't you drug me, make me lose my memories and reset me? Maybe you'll get the Maisie you preferred?"
Her words that were laced with sarcasm shocked me enough to drop my arms to the side. She had gained freedom of her hand and walked straight towards the elevator without looking back. Was she truly this angry to accuse me of doing something so vile? "Drug you? What do you…? I would never drug you."
"There's only your words as proof." She threw me a disgusted look before the elevator door shut.
Something broke inside me knowing she was thinking the worst of me. I was getting tired of having to feel hurt all over again by her judgemental yet clueless words. I understand underneath it all she was still the same Maisie I loved. But truth be told, I was not sure how long I would be able to stand to be her punching bag while she figured out I was never the enemy.
Even so, I am to be blamed in all of this since I have been withholding information from her. Her actions were reasonable and justified and I did not have the right to whine and complain as though I am the victim when all of this was the consequences of my actions.
I ran towards the elevator, intending to reason with her while ensuring she remained safe and sound. I pressed the down button hastily, waiting for the door to reopen.
It did not take long for it to open as the elevator was unable to function without a specific key. She seemed to realise it because as soon as the metallic door clang opened, I saw her crouching down on the floor facing the wall.
I did not need to see her reflection from the mirrored wall to know she was crying. Her sobbing and snuggling was a dead giveaway.
I sat on the opposite corner from her, cross-legged on the floor, with my mouth shut. Soft classical music that was playing on the elevator's speaker, succeeded in calming our tense nerves. My heart no longer pounding like a mad man on war ready to die and her sobbing has subsided.
"The date of your first memory loss is approaching and I admit it was wrong of me to assume the worst, but that was what I meant by next memory loss. Nothing else. I didn't drug you or anything," I explained slowly.
"I was only taking precaution because I could not figure out the pattern or what caused it. I was racing with time that I-I-I ..." I sighed, unsure how I was going to continue with what I wanted to say without sounding like I was complaining.
The least I wanted to do was her thinking she was a burden when she was never one ever.