People often say that the thinnest line is the one between love and hate.
But to me, the thinnest line is between love and foolishness—because right now, I can't tell whether I'm loving you with all my soul, body, and heart, or just fooling myself.
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In mid-August, shortly after Independence Day, the city of Palembang holds a special tradition for its youth—a futsal tournament between all the high schools in the city, competing for the Mayor's Cup. This event is held annually without fail. And today marked the final match for the coveted Mayor's Cup: a face-off between Bakti Usaha Senior High School and Nusantara Senior High School, both from Palembang.
Almost all the spectator stands at the indoor futsal court of Bakti Usaha Senior High School were packed with supporters eager to act as the "sixth player" for their favorite team. The left stands were filled with the invited guests—supporters of Nusantara High School—while the right stands were crowded with the home supporters of Bakti Usaha. Both sides were fiercely cheering for their teams, trying to outdo each other.
"Go, Gabrino! You can do it, Gabrino!"
The loud chant added even more excitement to the indoor futsal court.
Two people standing on either side of the enthusiastic chanter turned to look at her.
"Valen," one of them called.
The girl, addressed as Valen, turned to her left and saw one of her friends giving her an awkward look.
"Stop yelling, Len. Everyone's staring at you," Varesha Harika warned.
Valenia Talita, the girl in question, chuckled. "I can't help it, Sha, Gabrino's playing."
Another girl joined in. "We get it, Len. Both of us do. But could you tone it down a little?" said Tari Gumilar, Valen's friend.
Valen nodded and gave a faint smile. She then chose to stay silent, simply raising a large cardboard sign that read "Go Gabrino!"—a sign she had stayed up all night making just to cheer on Gabrino, one of the star players from Nusantara High School in the final match.
Though she stayed silent, Valen's eyes never stopped following Gabrino's every move as he darted around the court, swiftly passing the ball to his striker partner. The two were currently Nusantara High School's star forwards—Frans Guntoro and Gabrino Fadel.
Valen held her breath as Frans made a brilliant pass to Gabrino. Her face lit up with a wide smile when Gabrino managed to intercept the ball with his head and bring it down under his control.
With the ball now at his feet, Gabrino began weaving his way through several opposing players, his footwork quick and deceptive. Frans followed closely behind, ready to back him up if Gabrino lost possession and couldn't regain control.
Just as Gabrino was nearing the penalty box, an opposing player deliberately rammed into him, knocking him off balance and sending him crashing to the ground.
"Gabrino!" Valen sprang to her feet, pointing at the field in protest. She hated seeing Gabrino sprawled out on the court, the result of what was clearly a foul.
Tari and Resha glanced at each other. The brief moment of peace they had enjoyed was once again shattered by Valen's loud outburst.
"That was a foul! He pushed Gabrino!" Valen shouted. But she wasn't the only one demanding a penalty—nearly everyone in the Nusantara supporters' stand erupted in protest, all calling for justice over what they believed was a blatant act of cheating.
Not wanting to be outdone, the supporters of Bakti Usaha quickly shouted back, insisting that nothing illegal had happened. The crowd quickly turned into a shouting match between both sides.
Just like the chaos in the stands, the situation on the court was equally tense. Gabrino, who had been lying on the floor, was now back on his feet and storming toward the player who had knocked him down.
"So desperate to win you have to cheat?" Gabrino snapped, now face-to-face with the slightly shorter player.
The boy stepped up, puffing out his chest at Gabrino. "It was an accident."
"Accident?!" Gabrino barked, mimicking his posture and pushing his chest against the other boy's. "You clearly shoved me on purpose!" he accused.
Frans, along with several players from both Nusantara and Bakti Usaha, rushed in to separate them. Frans grabbed Gabrino, trying to pull him away, though his friend resisted at first. Still visibly furious, Gabrino only began to calm down when Frans whispered something into his ear. Whatever he said worked—Gabrino finally stepped back, his anger slowly cooling.
The referee confirmed that a foul had indeed been committed against Gabrino. Nusantara High School was awarded a penalty kick—one that Gabrino would take himself.
Before the penalty, Frans leaned in and said something to Gabrino again. As both his close friend and the captain of their futsal team, Frans felt responsible for keeping his teammate grounded. He didn't want any of his players to let the intensity of the match and their burning desire to win take over and lead them to play with uncontrolled emotion.
While Gabrino took his stance in front of the goal, Valen was also preparing—though not to take a shot, but to send her silent prayers from her seat in the spectators' stand. She looked at Gabrino with hope in her eyes, especially after glancing at the scoreboard. If Nusantara High School could score just one more goal, they would widen the gap even further to 4-1 against Bakti Usaha.
The referee blew his whistle. Gabrino stepped back, then charged forward to strike the ball. Valen held her breath as the ball soared through the air, nearly grazing the crossbar—until it landed perfectly inside Bakti Usaha's goal.
"GOAL!"
A second later, Valen screamed at the top of her lungs, quickly followed by a roar from the crowd celebrating Nusantara High School's overwhelming lead: 5-1. It was an incredibly satisfying score.
Valen beamed with pride as she watched Gabrino launch into his signature goal celebration with Frans and the rest of the team on the field. A group of girls not far from where Valen was sitting also screamed the names of Frans and Gabrino. Aside from being their school's futsal stars, both boys were known as the most attractive students at Nusantara High—earning them more than a few admirers among the girls, all hoping to catch their attention.
And Valen was one of those admirers. That was the real reason she was here—sitting in the stands, watching a futsal match, and screaming her heart out in support of Nusantara High. Not because she loved the game—but because she liked Gabrino.
Not long after the goal, the game resumed for a few more minutes, until the final whistle blew. The match was over. Immediately, the Nusantara supporters exploded in cheers, celebrating their school's victory in the Palembang Mayor's Inter-High School Futsal Cup Final. What made it even sweeter was that Bakti Usaha—touted as Nusantara's toughest rival after a dominant performance in the preliminaries—had just been crushed on their own home turf.
The celebration was wild among the Nusantara players. They yelled and hugged, rejoicing in their hard-earned triumph. Valen, too, couldn't stop shouting in excitement over the victory of her beloved team—and the boy she admired so much: Gabrino Fadel.
But the celebration didn't last long.
Out of nowhere, the player who had tackled Gabrino earlier suddenly stormed up to him and threw a hard punch straight to his face. Before Gabrino had a chance to react, the boy unleashed a flurry of blows, striking Gabrino in the face repeatedly.
Valen, who had been smiling in joy while hugging Tari and Resha—her friends who had come to watch the match with her—was left frozen by the sudden violence. She fell completely silent when the attacker was finally pulled away, but the damage had already been done. Gabrino lay unconscious and had to be carried off the field for medical treatment.
"Gabrino!" Valen screamed loudly. From her spot in the stands, she could clearly see the bruises and blood on Gabrino's face. The sight left her paralyzed. All she could do was stand there and watch helplessly as the boy she admired lay battered and motionless.
She was at a loss for words. Her heart ached seeing Gabrino in such a state.
Footsteps echoed through the hallways of Widya Bakti Hospital. Valen walked alone, glancing left and right as she searched for Room 124—Gabrino's room.
What had happened that afternoon was no trivial matter. Gabrino had been rushed to the hospital after being attacked by the Bakti Usaha player. The reason it had been so serious was because Gabrino had been completely exhausted and unprepared when the attack came. The assault had seriously injured him.
"Valen."
The voice made her look up in surprise. She was startled to hear someone call her name.
Her eyes met Frans, who stood not far from her, looking tired. He was still wearing his futsal jersey, now drenched in sweat.
"Uh, hi, Frans," Valen greeted him shyly.
Frans nodded and gave a faint smile. "Here to see Ateng, huh?" he asked. Ateng was Gabrino's nickname. Most people rarely called him by his full name; like Frans, they usually called him Ateng.
"Huh?" Valen froze for a second, surprised by how easily Frans had guessed.
"It's okay. I get it," said Frans gently. "He's in that room," he added, pointing to a room not far from where they stood.
Valen gave a small smile and soon after, Frans continued down the hallway, leaving her to walk slowly toward Gabrino's room.
She reached out to grasp the doorknob—but instinctively froze when she saw a girl already sitting beside the hospital bed where Gabrino lay.
From where she stood, Valen could only see the side of the girl's face. Yet even from that angle, she instantly recognized who was sitting beside Gabrino. So, Valen gave up her intention to step into the hospital room. She chose instead to remain by the door, which wasn't completely closed.
There was just enough of a gap for Valen to witness what was happening—and what was being said—between the two of them.
"Can't you stay a little longer?" Gabrino's voice was hoarse as he spoke.
There was no reply, but from where she stood peeking in, Valen could tell that the girl she knew as Andini Raya remained silent in response.
"Din?" Gabrino called out.
Andini blinked and lifted her head to look at him. When their eyes met, she sighed deeply and gave him a faint smile. "I wish I could, Teng… but I can't because…"
"Rendi?" Gabrino cut in quickly.
Andini froze, as if all the words she had prepared to explain herself to him dissolved instantly.
She didn't show any expression, other than an uncertain one.
"Teng, it's not like that, but I—"
"It's okay, Din. I get it," Gabrino interrupted her again. He let out a heavy breath, offered a weak smile, then pulled the blanket over his head.
"Teng," Andini called.
"Go ahead, Din. I'm fine. My aunt will be here soon anyway," Gabrino said from under the blanket.
Andini called his name again—Ateng, the same nickname others like Frans used for him—but still, Gabrino didn't respond. Eventually, she gave up and stood, ready to leave him behind.
"I'll head home now, Teng," Andini said before disappearing beyond the door.
Gabrino didn't stop her, nor did he try to convince her to stay. Even though deep down, there was a part of him that desperately wanted her to remain—wanted her to sit beside him in his loneliness, rather than leave him drowning in heartbreak.
A few minutes later, Gabrino remained in his position, hiding under the blanket and letting his heart feel the pain caused by Andini.
Half a year, it wasn't a long time to love someone. Gabrino knew very well that many people out there loved someone for years without getting a response. And it felt too soon for him to conclude that he was too foolish to stop after such a short time. But, on the other hand, he knew—he knew very well—that no matter how hard he hoped for Andini, that woman would never look his way.
Yes, Andini Raya. He had loved her for the past six months. Spending so much time as Andini's friend, hurting his own feelings when Andini was with him but talking about other men, or being her escape when she had problems with her boyfriend, Rendi. Gabrino did all of that for Andini.
Sometimes, love was that painful and foolish, and Gabrino swallowed that reality whole. He realized that this was how he showed Andini that he truly loved her.
Basically, that's the cycle when we love someone: some are lucky enough to find the one they love and have them love them back, some are loved but find it hard to return those feelings, and the third type is when we love someone, but the one we love never sees us as anything. And Gabrino was in the third type. Loving without being loved.
In the stillness of the night, Gabrino continued to think about his feelings and his relationship with Andini, without realizing that behind the door of his hospital room, there was a woman leaning against it, watching him with a wounded gaze while trying to smile.
She was Valen, a woman who shared the same fate as Gabrino. Loving without being loved.
Here I am, placed in the position of a woman who loves you but can never explain why I love someone who will never see me the way he sees the woman he loves, Valen thought to herself. She still tried to smile while holding back the tears that were at the edge of her eyes. Valen whispered to herself again. You have to stay strong, Len.
And at that moment, Valen's eyes glanced back at Gabrino, who was still hiding under his blanket. Her gaze drifted straight ahead. I'm not ready to give up yet, she thought. Not yet, this is not the time for me to give up.
Valen took a deep breath while maintaining her smile. If, in the end, this story finds a sad ending for me, then I'll take the risk, because that's how stories are meant to be—whether they find a happy or sad ending.