Here? Stuck here again? Away from the Senate? With Lord Vader?
Padme fought the feelings that were ragging inside of her. Unhappiness. Happiness. Fear. Hate. Confusion. Sorrow. She couldn't remember a time where there had been so many conflicting feelings inside of her. She shook her head, pushing the raging war inside of her deep down.
"I'm sorry, Threepio." She apologized quickly, noting the droid was still starring at her, "I'm afraid I'm still half asleep."
"It is perfectly alright, Milady." 3PO said with a small bow, "I'm sure you had an exhausting day yesterday. We all did."
Padme took a sip of the tea that 3PO had placed in front of her, allowing the hot liquid to sooth part of the war inside of her belly, before looking back towards the golden droid. "3PO, will I never return to the Senate?" She asked quietly, not sure she wanted to know the real answer.
The droid shifted awkwardly underneath her gaze, slightly fidgeting away. "I'm afraid I do not know, Mistress Amidala." He answered, "I only know what has been told to me."
Wonderful. So I could be stuck here forever.
But she reminded herself that it could be worse. He could have said that she would be stuck there forever.. Well at least until her death. Another pleasant thought. But she couldn't help but ask herself; would Vader kill her? Weren't things different between them?
"My Master," 3PO continued, bringing Padme back to reality, "has also told me to inform you that you are now free to leave your room and venture the establishments." "What?" Padme asked, not sure she had heard him right.
"Within reason of course," 3PO quickly added, "you're only allowed in open areas. Most doors in the establishments are locked anyways, but still, better than being locked in here all day."
Padme was shocked. "W –Why?" She asked, stuttering over her words. Maybe she was right. Maybe things had changed between them.
"I'm sorry?" 3PO asked confused, again shuffling his feet awkwardly.
Padme shook her head, trying to make sense of her thoughts. "I mean…" She said, "Why is Vader allowing me to leave my room?"
"He did not say, Mistress." 3PO answered honestly, "But I assume it is because you've already seen some of the establishments." "Oh…" Padme sighed, feeling a small bit of hurt inside of her, "Oh yes, right. Thank you Threepio."
The droid gave a slight bow, before he turned to the exit. Padme watched his retreating figured until another thought formed itself in her head.
"Threepio?" She called out.
"Yes, Mistress?" The droid replied, turning back around to face her.
"Ummm…" Padme breathed, "Is V –Vader out there?"
"I believe my Master was in the main living area." 3PO responded happily, "Which would be the quarters in which you were in yesterday."
"Oh…" Padme said softly, not really sure if she knew how to feel, "Thank you." "You're certainly welcome, Milady." Threepio said with a bow, before he turned and disappeared out the door.
When Padme was alone, instantly her thoughts began screaming within her mind again. She tried to make sense of what she feeling, not all of the feelings, but one: her feelings of happiness concerning Vader. He hadn't said it, but Padme knew he had felt it. The connection between them. The sparks that flew when they touched. She didn't know how powerful his pull was compared to hers but at least it was there. At least he had felt something. But what was his feelings concerning the matter? She could hardly explain her own feelings. Was it pity? Was it concern? Was it hatred? Or was it… Padme couldn't even finish with that train of thought. She just knew something was there. Something she could not ignore.
She could still feel it, the spark in her fingers. The feeling of his hand within hers. She loved that. His smell and his touch. She craved it… but did that mean she had feelings for him? She didn't know… and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.
Be realistic. She told herself. This is Darth Vader.
But still, a feeling inside Padme fought on, one that she could not ignore. The womanly part of her fought against her sane minded ideals. She wanted to be wanted. She wanted to be touched. She wanted to be loved. She wanted a man to make her a woman. But that didn't mean she wanted Lord Vader to be that man, nor did she think he could be that man. She still pictured a handsome, blue eye, blonde haired Prince Charming was out there somewhere in the galaxy waiting for her.
But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun while I wait for him, right? Padme wasn't sure what that even meant, but she told herself it was all part of a plan. A plan for what? She didn't know that either. She just wanted to test something… to see how Vader felt… to see how she felt. She needed answerers, and she was going to get them.
Quickly, Padme ate her small biscuit before drinking down what was left of her tea. Usually, she would enjoy the small meal, but she knew she had to act quickly before she lost her courage. Hopping out of her bed, she slipped out of the large black cloak and threw it in her closet. Skimming the mound of clothes, she picked a casual, yet appealing long, dark tan top, with tight plain light tan pants. The outfit had a design piece that went down her chest, which accented her breasts but did not expose them. She knew it was perfect. She rushed to the fresher, showering with more than enough soap, making sure she smelled extra special. When she was dried and dressed, she did her hair in an elegant braid, one that twisted around her shoulder and flowed down her back. She made sure to put on simple makeup, a look that didn't scream she was trying too hard. And when she was done, she smiled, loving her appearance in the mirror. She just hoped she could get Vader to notice.
Taking a deep breath, trying to calm her beating heart, she turned and walked towards the door. As she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, she prayed to the Force for help.
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