We walked through the door and into the building. My father left me to change his shoes, while I went to my locker to put on my school shoes.
I was grateful that my father didn't come with me, since my personal slippers were there as if nothing had happened, stored away like indoor slippers.
…I forgot I ran away from here for a moment…
Rather than blushing in embarrassment, I felt frustrated at having been so foolish. Luckily, neither my house nor Otsuki's noticed, neither he nor anyone else.
I just hope the principal doesn't say anything to him.
I quickly took off my school shoes to clean them up a bit after licking my thumb.
Even if they end up telling you, I'm going to pretend a little. To think that at this age, these things can happen to you...
" Riku, is something wrong?"
My father peeked around the row of lockers where I was standing to see what was taking me so long.
" Ah, n-no, it's okay."
Aaahh, he almost caught me cleaning them.
I put on my shoes as soon as my father looked out, so he wouldn't suspect anything further. If there is a God, please don't say anything.
The school, as expected, was almost empty. It was open for events like this, or club activities. You could hear the tennis club practicing in the hallways, or the music club upstairs on the third floor.
Even though it was so large and seemed so desolate, there were still signs of life present that didn't allow you a moment of solitude.
It didn't take long to reach the principal's office, as it was close to the entrance. Before entering, trying to be as honest as possible, my father spoke to me.
"Riku, if you want, you can wait here."
"...Isn't this a meeting about me?"
"Yes, but we're not just going to talk about that. I'll come outside and call you when necessary."
My father gave me the freedom to choose once again, this time, whether to be present for the entire meeting, or just the part where 'I'm needed'.
It would be better if I just forced myself to do something and that's it.
"…" I took a moment to think about it. I was torn about what to do. Was I going to run away again? What was I going to run away from in the first place? I didn't even know what I was going to run away from, or what was going to happen in there.
Can you call running away from something that isn't even chasing you?
"I think I'll wait out here."
My father nodded, "If the director wants you to be present for the entire meeting, I'll come out and tell you."
With that, he knocked on the door. "Come in," came the voice behind her. My father opened the door and closed it behind him as he went into the office.
I doubt they'll let me do this. The school principal is less strict than he should be, and quite kind, although he does get very serious when necessary.
That's why I don't think I can stay out here, waiting for them to tell me even a tiny bit of what they're going to talk about.
I have no idea what they're going to talk about, other than what I've done. I thought we were just coming here to find out how long I'd be suspended.
I leaned my back against the wall near the office door, since I didn't want to sit down right now. In the hallways, there are occasional places to sit, like benches but without a backrest or a place to rest your arms.
Sunlight streamed straight into the hallways, flooding them with its yellowish hue. It was less hot than usual, at least inside the school.
Fall had technically begun, but it was still warmer than it should be. Anyway, I'll have to start wearing my winter uniform soon.
I've always been one of those people who likes the weather more in winter than in summer. I prefer to shiver occasionally than to sweat. I'd rather have my hands freeze while using my phone outside than have bugs chasing me all the time.
Plus, the atmosphere in winter is so calm. After Christmas and New Year's, there's nothing interesting happening, except for my birthday, which isn't very interesting either.
Walking alone at night while it's snowing is something I've always wanted to do, but I've always been too lazy to do it.
In general, I never go out alone of my own free will. That time I did it for my father, not out of pleasure. I want to do it, but then I don't like it. But how will I know if I like it if I haven't tried it? It's
all about the feeling.
Maybe. Maybe I can sense how things are going to be before they happen.
Yes, as if I had powers.
"But you're always right."
In what sense?
"Everything gets worse when you think it's going to get worse."
And at what point did I think that everything was going to get worse?
"Always."
A loud shot was heard in the distance. The team whoever fired that shot is probably winning, what a beast.
' You're a beast.'
I turned my head away, avoiding the window in front of me. As if that voice were coming from outside. The best thing I could do there was wait, wait for them to call me.
Once again, I noticed the absence of my headphones. He might be listening to music, since it's almost impossible to notice I'm wearing them—my hair would hide them—but guess who left them at home?
I can't just wander around either. If I could, I'd stay near the music club so I could hear what they're playing, or whatever they're doing.
I can't hear anything down here. It's just a collection of noises too faint to be called music. A cry too faint to hear.
Anyway, I've been like this for weeks now. What do I care if I get bored for a while now? If I were home, I'd be just like now, only listening to music. That's why it doesn't matter if I don't have music on right now; I wouldn't change a thing.
It's ironic that you want to distract yourself with something that doesn't entertain you, and yet I end up doing it over and over again.
Another thing I could do is listen to the meeting in there. I'm not interested in what they're saying, but it would be better than nothing. I'm still going to avoid doing that, though, because if someone comes down the hall and sees me...
It's the same as if I take out my phone and start watching something, I can be seen from both ends, I wouldn't be able to do anything.
Do I really have to stay like this until they call me?
I can't stop thinking. I can't stop wanting to do something. It's easy not to think when you're in bed, since it's as if you want to sleep, as if you're pretending to sleep. But here?
It's nonsense. I should have gone home. At least I should have sat down. I want to go home… What am I going to do after this?
I stopped leaning against the wall and went to the bench on the left side of the office to sit down. As I sat down, I could hear voices coming from the right.
I didn't look at who was coming, but the voices were quite loud, so I knew it was just two people, a girl and a boy.
"I find it shocking that you left the copies behind when you were the one who wanted me to review that 'thing'." The girl had an annoyed tone, and she insisted on making it clear.
"That 'thing' is a novel , miss." The boy sounded dull, but he carried a tone with him that screamed 'funny.'
"Miss!?"
"Yes, miss. It won't be long before you're off to the nursing home."
"I'm only four months older than you! You're an idiot, really."
Oh, please kiss. Don't leave me wanting for two seasons and three OVAs.
Their chatter could be heard from down the hall, and they were getting closer and closer. At some point, I stopped joking about them and started getting nervous, dreading every step they took, drowned in their voices.
When does the institute know? How many people know me? Do they even know who I am? They could. I…
'He looks so desperate...' 'Yeah, I doubt he did anything.' 'What if he just went crazy?' 'Isn't that a bit too much?' 'I don't care what happened to him.' 'The video might not even be real.' 'It looks like a setup.'
'I still don't forgive what he did.'
"Apologize already, man."
I stopped hearing their conversation for a moment, until they were right in front of me.
"…"
"…I don't have time. You know, the piano calls me and all that."
"Do you need it that much?"
"I would like to practice a little."
"And you can't go out later?"
"…"
Come on woman, he's asking you out on a date.
"…I'll think about it."
I'm very proud of you, my friend. Good luck.
I looked at the back of the boy who turned into a man as he crossed the hall, and gave him my sincerest thumbs up, as they continued walking forward.
I was careful not to wait too long, as they were going to the entrance soon, and I didn't want them to see me doing this out of the corner of their eye.
At least I'm relieved they didn't say anything.
" Isn't it too much for you to think that everyone knows you just from a video?"
Yes, I suppose so, but it's better that way.
And time continued to flow. I sat there, and the couple arrived at the entrance. Words, spoken in whispers, were the last thing anyone heard from them.
"…Hey, wasn't that…?"
"I think so… Whether it is or not, let's not say anything else, he might hear us."
It was the only thing that didn't enter my ears.