Who am I?
A question that has no deadline
No neat answer
No full stop
I am not a brand
I am not a label
I am a contradiction
A storm in a tea cup
I am light with a fuse
Love with edges
Soft hands and sharp instincts
I am the girl who holds people too tightly and lets go too suddenly
Who overthinks everything but feels even more
Who longs to be seen but flinches when the light hits her too directly
I want to be known but not exposed
Loved but not possessed
Heard but not talked over
I crave a love that reads me like a diary, not a headline
Some days I am kind and full of grace
Other days I am mood swings wrapped in skin
I am easily annoyed, deeply wounded by words
Yet somehow still the one who shows up first and loves the longest
I don't always know how to communicate
I mistake softness for an attack
I silence myself out of fear
Then explode out of frustration
I'm learning that healing doesn't always come gently
Sometimes it breaks your voice to free it
I guard my dreams with sharp teeth
When it comes to my goals I am selfish
Unyielding
But when it comes to people I love
I pour and pour and pour
Until I'm empty and aching
I hate failing
I hate being outshined
I want to be the best
But I don't want to admit it
I tell myself it's not a competition
But jealousy still burns quietly under my ribs
And still
I am considerate
I am sincere
I am sensitive
I clean up the messes
Hate a dirty room
Organize chaos into order
Because order makes me feel safe
And safety is the love I never learned to ask for
I love to talk
I need to be heard
Not just listened to
But felt
I want someone to trace my words like scripture
To meet me at the places where even I lose myself
Spiritually I'm searching
I don't want surface-level Sundays
I want divine honesty
I want to meet God in the silences
In the ache
In the questions
In the moments no one else stays
And I'm still that girl
The one who wants to be chosen without begging
The one who gets jealous when love doesn't land on her doorstep first
The one who dreams of being held
Known
And seen
Not for what she achieves
But for who she is in the stillness
When the applause fades and only the heart remains
I am a mess and a masterpiece
A lesson I'm still learning
A love I haven't finished writing
No skin left to hide
Just a mirror between my bones
And this time I'm not looking away