"What the fuck dude?!" Eve screamed with obvious irritation, only to get a playful laugh from him.
"Yo! Did you sleep well?" He asked with faked innocence so obvious, even a newborn child could see through it. "Didja sleep well?"
"No I didn't thanks to you bastard!"
"Anything to keep my fabulously ugly looking bestie forever looking like she belongs in the depths of the trenches."
"You really are a bitch, aren't ya, Goldi?"
Goldi - Witch, 492(19)
"I wouldn't be your friend if I wasn't a bitch." He replied with an exaggerated bow. "Besides, didn't we plan on a heist this night? Danny said you'd be coming."
"Oh yeah....forgot about that." She finished with a loud facepalm. "Can't a girl get angood night's rest without you guys bugging m every five minutes?" She pleaded with beady eyes and the worst impression of a child.
"Who the fuck classified you as a girl?"
"Oh my Guardi- fuck this. Just get the fuck out I have a friend here."
"Oooh....no wonder it took you so long to come out. Is he cute? Is he good in be-"
In less than a second his face was buried in a pillow with Eve furiously trying to choke him. "That's beyond disgusting! Do you always have thoughts like these?"
"Maybe~ you never know."
She replied with a groan and let him go muttering under her breath, "I need to air y'all out one of these days."
And in a flash of an unnecessarily flashy amount of magic, Goldi was gone.
Eve scoffed in annoyance, coughing from the Lunnio dust from the splash. "Bitch ass. I swear it smells like unfiltered sewage and unwashed ass everytime he does that, ho never showers it's a talent."
She looked around the room praying he stole something so she'd have a reason to kill him, unfortunately he didn't. She picked up a cigarette, holding it in her mouth then ran upstairs.
"He's gone, Art. You can drop the gun." She said in a soft voice as she entered the room, only for a loud shot to be heard from the direction of the ceiling and the sound of shotgun shells falling on the ground were heard.
"Oh my Guardian!" Arthur shouted as he jumped from the chandelier, landing clumsily on a bed of flowers as he ran to Eve's side, her body laying lifeless on the ground.
He immediately threw himself into a panic, scared out of his mind from his mistake. "Oh no. No. No. No. She isn't dead, she CAN'T be dead, she-".
He tried to reassure himself, with every attempt making him more panicked. "Okay, okay. You've seen her hide bodies. I-it shouldn't be too hard....right?"
He started talking to himself out loud, his thoughts becoming more intense by the second. "I-i could....I could-I can hide her body among my flowers. The roots of the treehouse will hide the smell of a decomposing body, right?"
"What if they search too early?"
"How would you even get rid of a whole body?
"Can you even lift her? And even if you do, won't you throw up?"
These thoughts sent him into a spiral of madness, thinking of ways to avoid arrest or any consequences.
"Okay okay. I think I got it now.....cut up the body, arrange a few body bags....ad bury them under the tree. Increase the strength of the tree so it can absorb her body faster."
He looked around the room for her hacksaw, grabbing it from under her bed without hesitation.
He muttered softly in her ear, "I'm sorry...Evellyn."
Just as he was about to start cutting the body. Laughter was heard. Loud, annoying, mocking laughter.
Just then, Eve's body started to shake, then slight chuckles, finally laughter.
"Art....you.... you'll...you'll make a lousy ass killer if you ever turned to crime!" She mocked him as his face grew pale in shock.
"Sorry, dude. It's the others on the call...I'm sorry but-" she was barely able to finish her words as she wheezed with laughter.
"There is no way he thought you were dead!" Danny's voice rung loudly as Eve brought out her Pocket Mirror, showing Danny, Goldi, and a third mysterious figure giggling in the background.
"Pretty boy thinks he can do it and still live." Goldi mocked in a girly voice.
"Give him some credit guys, at least with his plan he can last...ten minutes? That should be enough time for him to run to another country or fake a death. Right guys?" The third voice mocked behind covered giggles, their voice indistinguishable from either a male or female's voice. The distortion didn't help either.
"Relax, Art it was just a prank. Shotguns are way too blunt to even dent me by a bit. The shells bounce right off...see?" She moved away her braids, showing him the part of her head she shot. There wasn't even a scratch. Arthur sat stunned.
"Also these idiots wanted to have an actual interaction with you. They already know who you are rich kid. They just wanted proof that we're friends. Besides, a reaction like this is pure fucking gold."
The laughing had subsided a bit, with Danny trying to console Arthur. "If it makes you feel any better, there should be a portal rune somewhere behind you 'cause Goldi is a horny little bitch who can't keep his little ding in his- dress? Also like a bag of 100k gold. Real money cause only one of us works a day job....."
"And these fucks need to quit talking to you." Eve interrupted Danny midway, giving Arthur a hug. "Sorry for the prank, I am kind of a degenerate so its also on me, Art."
Eve grabbed the rune and started drawing on the floor, but it started to slowly fade away as she continued drawing. "Oh yeah.....can't use magic." She said while pouting her lips.
"Here you go Art, would've loved to take you home but Danny is a bitch, Goldi is horny, and I can't use magic. Go home and sleep dude, you got school tomorrow don't you?" She patted him on the shoulder and held his hands together giving him the rune.
Arthur sniffed and wheezed like he was holding back tears, barely keeping himself together, then finally letting his tears flow, with the flowers in his hair growing at a concerning pace.
"Don't cry, Art." Eve tried consoling him with a worried face. She looked around her room and the vines were now growing and messing up the whole room. "Listen, you did good defending yourself, I was wrong and I shouldn't have done something so horrible to you, okay? You're a good friend and you don't deserve something so degrading to your character."
The walls started to crack, slowly caving in as Arthur struggled to calm himself down. "Congratufuckinglations Eve. Next time don't mess with the golden retriever boy, who can rearrange your treehouse." Eve scolded herself.
Just as Eve was about to try consoling him again, Arthur suddenly fell to the floor unconscious, with a figure standing behind him.
"And that's a favor you owe me, Evellyn." The voice sounded strangely familiar to the one from the call, just more feminine, soft and sexy. The light adjusted to her direction, revealing a tall figure in a lilac button up shirt and a black waistcoat, accompanied with tight black shorts that barely covered her thighs, and a jet black fedora resting perfectly on her short white hair.
Her face looked perfect, with glassy black eyes and perfectly shaped pink lips, her body woth all the right proportions made it look like she was sculpted by The Guardians themselves.
"That's one way to stop my house from collapsing." Eve said in a thankful but confused voice. "Thanks....Simone."
Simone Reginalds - Unknown - Unknown