The vast blue sky stretched overhead like an endless canvas, decorated with drifting white clouds that lifted one's spirits.
Within the Uchiha Clan Compound...
"Sigh..."
Uchiha Asuka let out a long, weary sigh.
He had known Fugaku wouldn't summon him without a reason.
Sure enough...
It was about yesterday's student evaluation.
Someone had reported him.
To make matters worse, the Grand Elder happened to be there as well.
The old man looked at Asuka as though he'd just discovered the most beautiful woman in the world. His eyes gleamed as he launched into yet another endless lecture.
"Just because you're skilled in medical ninjutsu doesn't mean you can use such outrageous methods to test students!"
"The bell test exists to build teamwork and strengthen the bonds between comrades."
"And most importantly, the only real danger comes from the instructor."
"What exactly does your test accomplish?"
"What does it train?"
"Poison resistance?"
"Or teamwork while squatting in neighboring bathroom stalls?"
"Our Uchiha Clan only manages to produce an Academy instructor once every few years."
"Do you know why?"
"It's because people like you keep lowering the clan's already rock-bottom reputation."
"You dug a hole beneath the bottom..."
"And then kicked it even deeper!"
Seeing no sign that the old man intended to stop, Asuka quietly wiped the spit from his face before speaking patiently.
"Grand Elder..."
"My intentions were actually very simple."
"I only wanted to test those three students."
Bang!
The Grand Elder slapped the table.
"Test them?"
"Test how long they could survive diarrhea?"
"Heh..."
Asuka let out a dry laugh.
Then he simply closed his eyes.
There was no point arguing.
The old man was elderly, childless, and stubborn.
If I argue him into collapsing, the sequence is obvious.
Today he'll collapse here.
Tomorrow he'll be in the hospital.
The day after that...
He'll be living in my house.
...No thank you.
---
By the time the sun began setting...
Five pots of tea had already been emptied.
Smelling dinner drifting in from the kitchen, the Grand Elder leisurely finished his final cup.
Looking at Asuka's exhausted expression filled him with satisfaction.
It had been years...
Many, many years...
Since he'd felt this refreshed.
The last time was when he'd first become a shinobi and received praise from Lord Madara himself.
"I've already apologized to those three children's parents on your behalf."
"In the future, teach them properly."
"Follow the standard curriculum."
"And stop entertaining dangerous ideas."
With that, the Grand Elder slowly rose to leave for dinner.
But the instant he stood—
A wave of numbness shot from his legs straight into his head.
Buzz.
His expression changed dramatically.
...This is bad.
He had spent the entire afternoon sitting cross-legged.
His legs had completely fallen asleep.
Asuka watched the old man stumble toward him.
His pupils contracted sharply.
Damn it.
I've listened to you ramble all afternoon...
And now you're trying to extort me by collapsing in front of me?
There's nobody else here!
If you fall on me, I'll never be able to explain it!
Without hesitation—
Thud!
Asuka planted a kick squarely into the Grand Elder's face.
Seeing the rapidly approaching foot, the old man's eyes widened.
Before he could even cry out—
Bang!
The tremendous force launched him backward.
He flew straight through the guest room door of Fugaku's house.
Crash!
The entire door exploded inward.
---
Hearing the commotion, Fugaku hurried out from the kitchen.
Looking first at the human-shaped hole in the guest room...
Then at Asuka...
He asked,
"...What happened?"
"Hmph."
Asuka took a deep breath.
Facing the hole in the wall, he solemnly formed the Seal of Reconciliation.
"Grand Elder."
"You've conceded."
Then he turned toward Fugaku.
"Clan Head."
"The Grand Elder merely wished to test my abilities."
"We accidentally used a little too much force."
"I have other matters to attend to."
"Farewell."
"Won't you stay for dinner?"
"Thank you for your generosity, Clan Head."
Whoosh!
Asuka disappeared in a Body Flicker Technique.
Almost immediately afterward, Mikoto entered the courtyard wearing an apron, still holding a wok in one hand and a spatula in the other.
After looking at the massive hole in the guest room, she asked worriedly,
"Grand Elder..."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine!"
"Very fine!"
"I've never felt better!"
Leaning on his cane, the old man slowly walked back out through the ruined doorway with an unusually cheerful smile.
Seeing the footprint on his face and the dust covering his clothes, Mikoto couldn't help asking again,
"Are you... really alright?"
"I'm perfectly fine."
Brushing the dust from his sleeves, the Grand Elder briefly glanced at Mikoto's pregnant belly before looking toward the direction Asuka had disappeared.
A thoughtful look crossed his face.
Tap.
His cane lightly struck the stone path.
"Ever since Tsunade developed her fear of blood..."
"That boy has become the strongest combatant among medical ninja..."
"And the finest medical ninja among combat shinobi."
"He'd make an excellent bodyguard."
"Recently..."
"The Fourth Hokage has been selecting candidates for the Hokage Guard Platoon."
"I think Asuka would be a good choice."
"The Uchiha have been beaten with sticks long enough."
"It's time they were offered a carrot."
---
Author's Note:
I fixed a mistake here.
I accidentally created a plot hole.
Aside from Konoha's upper leadership, almost nobody knew Kushina was the Nine-Tails' jinchūriki.
After rereading the manga, I confirmed that only the Third Hokage, his wife, a few elders, Black Zetsu, and Obito knew the truth.
Even the Sannin were unaware.
---
Naturally...
Asuka had no idea his future was once again being discussed inside Fugaku's home.
By then, he had already left the Uchiha Compound and arrived outside Konoha.
His destination...
The Valley of the End.
The place where Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha had fought their legendary final battle.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Listening to the deafening roar of the waterfall, Asuka rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
This is the perfect place to practice water walking.
Even if someone loses their balance and falls off the waterfall...
Broken bones aren't a problem.
Their teacher happens to be a doctor.
After weighing the options between practicing on a calm stream...
Or learning the hard way beneath a waterfall...
He decisively chose the waterfall.
His students needed to improve as quickly as possible.
This wasn't Naruto's generation.
They didn't have the luxury of slowly playing around on shallow streams.
---
"Hey."
"Whose kids are you?"
"Where are your parents?"
He'd wanted to ask that ever since arriving.
Three children had already been standing there alone.
He'd waited quite a while...
Yet no adults ever appeared.
Are parents this careless nowadays?
One of the boys coughed lightly before imitating the arrogant tone of the clan elders.
"We're members of the Uchiha Clan."
"We came here to admire Lord Mada—"
Thud!
Before he could finish...
Asuka kicked him clean off the cliff.
Splash!
The child disappeared straight into the pool below.
The other two froze.
The moment they saw someone get kicked away simply for saying "Uchiha"...
Tears instantly burst from their eyes.
"Waaah!"
"M-Mama!"
"There's a bad man!"
"I want to go home!"
Thunk!
A kunai suddenly embedded itself precisely where the first child had been standing moments earlier.
The two children stared at the black blade.
Their crying stopped instantly.
...Is he going to eat children?
Before they could even think about escaping—
They suddenly felt a powerful kick on their backsides.
Their feet left the ground.
They, too, flew off the cliff.
Asuka calmly watched all three disappear before turning toward the nearby forest.
"Come out."
The moment he spoke...
Two masked shinobi appeared.
A fox mask.
A tiger mask.
Black bodysuits beneath white sleeveless uniforms.
The moment Asuka saw them...
He recognized their affiliation.
ANBU...
Or Root.
Since they'd attacked immediately...
Probably Root.
---
"Hey..."
"Seriously..."
Asuka rubbed his forehead before estimating the time.
Then he frowned.
"Aren't you supposed to introduce yourselves first?"
"Something like..."
"'Danzō-sama wishes to see you.'"
"Why'd you skip straight to attacking?"
The two Root operatives exchanged a glance.
Without answering...
They simultaneously drew their short swords and attacked from both sides.
Clang!
A black kunai intercepted one blade.
The smile disappeared from Asuka's face.
"...Twenty seconds."
With a sharp twist, he knocked the first sword aside.
Then immediately pivoted left.
Clang!
The second sword was blocked as well.
His right foot lashed out.
Bang!
One Root operative flew backward.
Asuka instantly created distance.
"Fire Release..."
He inhaled deeply.
His cheeks expanded.
His Sharingan flashed crimson.
The very air around him seemed to ignite.
"Great Fire Annihilation!"
A boundless sea of flames erupted from his mouth.
The inferno swallowed everything before it.
The two Root operatives' pupils shrank.
Facing flames as vast as an ocean, they hurriedly formed hand seals.
"Water Release: Water Formation Wall!"
Towering pillars of water erupted around them.
Sssss!
Fire and water collided.
An enormous cloud of steam instantly swallowed the battlefield.
Hidden within the dense mist, the two Root ninja ripped off their rapidly melting masks and watched their surroundings warily.
Visibility had dropped to almost nothing.
They had no idea where the Uchiha's next attack would come from.
"Ptooey."
Asuka spat onto the ground.
Casually picking up a stone...
He walked straight into the steam.
Less than a second later—
Bang!
Bang!
Two crisp impacts echoed.
"Nice."
Looking at the cracked stone still in his hand, Asuka couldn't help praising them.
"They stayed conscious."
Immediately afterward...
His fingertips became coated in chakra.
Chakra Scalpel.
As a medical ninja...
He knew exactly where to cut.
With two swift movements...
He severed the muscles controlling their arms and legs.
Fast.
Clean.
Nonlethal.
The two Root operatives instantly collapsed.
Asuka casually dislocated both of their jaws before jumping off the cliff.
---
"It hasn't even been twenty seconds."
"They shouldn't have drowned yet..."
Fortunately...
When he found the three children...
They were still alive.
Although each of them had rolled their eyes back so far that only the whites were visible.
Water kept spurting from their mouths.
Clearly...
They'd swallowed quite a bit.
After giving them basic treatment, Asuka returned to the two immobilized Root operatives and crouched beside them.
To be honest...
Since graduating from the Academy...
He'd encountered Root operatives at least ten different times.
Some attacked after exchanging two sentences.
Some waited until the third.
Some lured him into isolated forests.
Others lowered his guard before striking.
Regardless of the method...
It always ended in a fight.
But attacking immediately without even speaking first?
That was a first.
Examining the female operative, Asuka reached into her mouth, pulled out her tongue, inspected it briefly, then nodded.
"So it really is the Tongue Eradication Curse Seal."
"You people have terrible operational standards now."
"Attacking the moment you arrive..."
"Forget it."
He pushed her tongue back into place and casually wiped his fingers on her uniform.
"Stop glaring at me like that."
"I'm not here to interrogate you."
The two Root operatives looked visibly surprised.
Then...
Their expressions dimmed.
Not asking questions...
So he's simply going to kill us.
Seeing through their thoughts, Asuka casually picked his nose.
"Relax."
"I don't kill fellow Konoha ninja."
"Sure."
"You attacked me."
"But we're all from the same village."
"There's no reason to weaken Konoha from within."
"Our blades should be pointed outward."
The two Root operatives became even more confused.
...Did we meet some kind of saint?
Since when did the Uchiha produce people like this?
---
Asuka healed one of their severed arms before helping both operatives sit upright.
He positioned them facing each other, roughly an arm's length apart.
Then he sat beside them.
Activating his Sharingan, he beckoned the three Uchiha children—who had been pretending to remain unconscious—to come closer.
"My name is Uchiha Asuka."
"Today..."
"I'm going to teach you something."
"Something you won't learn anywhere else."
The boy who had been kicked off the cliff sniffled miserably.
"...Then why did you kick me?"
Asuka looked at him as though he'd asked the stupidest question imaginable.
"So I wouldn't have to worry about you during the fight."
Flick!
Before the boy could complain further, Asuka flicked him on the forehead.
Then he turned back toward the Root operatives.
"I can see it."
"Your desire to survive."
"And as I've already said..."
"I don't kill fellow Konoha shinobi."
The female operative frowned.
"What do you want?"
"We won't reveal any intelligence."
"I'm not asking."
Asuka poked the three children to keep them paying attention before pulling out a notebook and pen.
"I got attacked today."
"So I'm still a little upset."
"Here's what we're going to do."
"You'll drink sake."
"Play rock-paper-scissors."
"The winner gets to slap the loser."
"One hundred rounds."
"When I'm satisfied..."
"You all go home."
"Oh."
"If the winner doesn't slap hard enough..."
"I'll slap the loser myself."
"...That's it?"
The two Root operatives stared at him in disbelief.
They couldn't believe it would be that easy.
No interrogation.
No torture.
Just...
One hundred slaps?
"That's right."
Asuka nodded.
Then he unsealed several bottles of sake.
Raising his right hand solemnly, he declared,
"I swear upon the honor of the Uchiha Clan."
"I mean every word."
"Now."
"Begin."
---
Hope immediately returned to the Root operatives' eyes.
The Uchiha really are insane...
It's only slapping each other.
After exchanging a glance, the woman nodded.
"I'll count."
"Three..."
"Two..."
"One."
"Go."
The woman threw Scissors.
The man threw Paper.
Smack!
A loud slap echoed.
Looking at the fresh handprint on the man's face, Asuka sighed sympathetically.
"What a shame."
He handed him a bottle of sake.
"Here."
"Drink."
"The more you drink..."
"The less your face will hurt."
"..."
The man accepted it in a daze.
"...You're actually a pretty nice guy."
"Mhm."
Asuka nodded repeatedly.
Then...
He summoned three family-sized buckets of Honey Mustard Fried Chicken.
One for each child.
The three quietly sat nearby, eating chicken while watching the Root operatives repeatedly slap each other.
Every single time someone lost...
Asuka immediately handed them another bottle of sake while offering comforting words.
One little boy bit into a drumstick and whispered,
"...Teacher."
"What are they doing?"
"I don't know."
His companion shook his head.
"But..."
"The chicken's really good."
---
Smack!
An especially loud slap rang out.
The man clutched his cheek.
"...Why did you suddenly hit harder?"
"My hand slipped."
The woman laughed awkwardly.
Actually...
She simply couldn't control her strength anymore after drinking.
"Hmph."
The man rubbed his face before looking toward Asuka.
"How many rounds left?"
"Seventy-eight."
"We've barely started."
"...Alright."
He rolled up his sleeves.
"Again."
---
Time passed.
Smack!
This time...
The woman's head snapped sideways.
She stared at her companion.
The previous slap had clearly satisfied the Uchiha.
So why had he suddenly hit her even harder?
"Cough..."
"My body's getting hard to control."
"Heh."
The woman's eye twitched.
Suppressing her anger, she snatched another bottle of sake from Asuka and took a huge swig.
"...Again."
Smack!
Smack!
As more alcohol disappeared...
The slaps became heavier.
Soon...
Neither of them bothered holding back anymore.
One slap often sent the other rolling across the ground.
Eventually...
Asuka glanced down at the growing pile of teeth scattered across the dirt.
He beckoned the three children closer.
Pointing toward the two operatives still viciously slapping each other, he asked,
"Do you understand now?"
"...No."
All three shook their heads honestly.
The only thing they'd noticed...
Was that the slaps kept getting harder.
Asuka dusted himself off and led them farther away before speaking quietly.
"They're loyal."
"Very loyal."
"Loyal to Konoha."
"Loyal to Danzō."
"Getting information about their superiors is almost impossible."
"But..."
"'Almost impossible'..."
"...isn't the same as impossible."
"Sometimes..."
"The smallest crack in someone's heart is fatal."
"They'll never betray their superiors."
"But..."
"They will betray their enemies."
"I'm even paying them for information about those enemies."
"If some foreign nation bought intelligence on Konoha..."
"And they sold it..."
"That would be treason."
"The psychological pressure would be enormous."
"But who are we?"
"We're the Uchiha."
"A prestigious Konoha clan."
"The Military Police Force."
"If they sell intelligence to us..."
"The pressure is much lower."
"For us to inspect Root's information..."
"...isn't espionage."
"It's an internal inspection."
The children's confused expressions slowly transformed into admiration.
Hands on his hips, Asuka grinned smugly.
Of course...
I can't tell the rest of the clan this trick.
They'd die of fright.
Investigating Root...
Is basically the same as investigating ANBU.
Next...
I'll combine everything I've gathered and quietly work my way into the hearts of Danzō's subordinates.
Half of Danzō's confidence comes from Root.
Thirty percent comes from the Third Hokage.
The remaining twenty percent comes from himself.
Once I know every Root member...
And every Root member knows me...
I'll even know what color underwear each of them put on this morning.