"So, wait…you've been the alpha this whole time and are just NOW telling me?" he looked down before he responded. His hands clenched visibly. "Yes…I am." He sat down but raised his hands after my very g flinch. When he spoke again, his voice was deeper but softer. It was almost heavenly. "Meghan please I understand your upset. I don't blame you. But I would have hated myself if I had told you earlier and you got hurt during your first shift."
. "So, after touching me and sleeping with me you still didn't think I deserved to know?" my head was spinning so fast I was dizzy. My stomach churned. He reached for my hand once more, but I pulled it out of his reach. "I'm sorry Meghan. I was only trying to protect you. As my mate I feel what you feel and it would have killed me to lose you after your shift." I didn't know what to think. This was too much to deal with right now. I needed to be away from him.
"I can't sleep with you tonight. Either you sleep on the couch or I will." Simon rushed to cage me in. but he didn't seem violent. He felt defensive. "You can't do that. Not tonight while you're in heat. If you want to when its over ill sleep wherever you want me to sleep." There was worry and panic in his voice. Worse than when he admitted to being the alpha. And that was a terrifying thought. But I pushed through. "I don't care. It can't be that bad. And just because I'm your mate doesn't make me your pet." He kissed me deeply and even bit my lip to stop me from talking. I gave in even through madness. Not by choice but when his scent enveloped my nose I just couldn't pull back. "Meghan, listen to me. If we are more than 10 feet apart while you're in heat, we both suffer. It'll start with a fever. It'll feel like were burning from the inside out. Hate me if you want but please…"
I got really close to his face, nose to nose and exhaled. "I don't care. Can you read my lips since you're too stupid to hear? Now do you want the couch or am I taking it?"
He swallowed drastically. I could see tears in his eyes, and it almost made me cave, but I held my ground. He didn't respond as he slowly lifted off the bed and grabbed the blanket. He looked at me with guilt, sorrow and regret before turning back around and leaving.
I cried for about two hours. Everyone I loved and trusted had officially betrayed me. First, she kept being a wolf from me and now this. I sniffled slightly as I wiped my face when a servant came in. "Alpha sent me to…- "I cut her off before she could continue. "Can you just sit whatever the fuck that is and leave? And don't call him alpha around me. That's the last thing I want to hear." She laid it down gently and bowed. "Yes, my lady. Ring if you need anything." And without another word she left.
I cried for a little longer before realizing I was doing nothing but making myself sick. I slept on and off. Sometimes I woke up with a nightmare. My thoughts were still racing. Alphas luna, heats, pregnancy. I lifted the blanket over my head to try and drown it all out. I started to get uncomfortable after a while. I couldn't lie flat right. I started to feel very sweaty. By 2 am I was burning alive from the inside out. Just as Simon had described it, I could feel it. It was no longer a small ache making me toss and turn. It was like the fever you had during the flu but amplified by 100 degrees. I felt the other kind of heat race straight to my lower stomach. The undeniable pull of heat is only known as horny. I couldn't help but whimper and curl up into a ball. I kept my thighs together to make friction enough so that the horny would go down. But that only increased the feelings completely to max.
As an even stronger wave of heat hit me, I flinched and squealed. I balled the sheets into my hands and took in Simon's scent, but it only helped a little bit. Magna was screaming in my head. Could my wolf feel the pain too? She kept telling me to give in. reminding me of our first night and how gentle his hands were. I tried not to imagine it, but my brain was driven with images. His mouth taking every part of me and his body touching mine. Skin to skin making friction. This fever was making it impossible to control my thoughts. Then I heard Simon's voice in my head. "I'm living through hell right now Meghan so I know you must be too. I'm sorry but please let me help you…please I'm begging you."
I wanted to shout no. I wanted to run and never look back. But then I thought about his wolf. Was his wolf suffering from my anger? "Okay, okay I cave." Within seconds he came through the door. I hugged him tightly like he might have disappeared if I had let go. "I'm so sorry. It hurt so much." He rubbed my head and pulled me impossibly close to him. "It's okay. It's okay I got you. Shhhh Babygirl I'm here." He let his pheromones release and it sent calming waves through my body. I could breathe again. I couldn't help my thoughts anymore. No matter how mad I got, I couldn't be away from him. "I'll forgive you…if you sleep with me in the bed. please don't sleep on the floor?" I let a tear fall as relief washed over me. And on impulse something in me said to bite him maybe my wolf did it…? "Meghan nooo…. ahhhh."