(Warning, this chapter contains nonconsensual content. All users please be advised.)
Once my teeth sank into his neck and the blood consumed my taste buds, I felt his whole body go stiff and then shake. His voice broke as he cried out in both pain and ecstasy. His arms locked around me, and I could feel his heartbeat speed up against my chest. His scent flooded me and my heat increased like wildfire. Magna was howling in my head at the taste of him. Her howl was so loud it nearly drowned out everything around us. This heat that was already turning me into a heater cranked up to a furnace. It made everything sharper and sensitive. It was making me more desperate by the minute.
Simon tried to pull back from me. His hands slid up to my shoulders like he wanted to create space but didn't have the heart to. I gripped onto him so he couldn't try anything. I could feel his shoulders shaking, I was shaking from head to toe. If my heat wasn't settled soon, I thought I might turn into a fireball. When he felt it, he froze. His hands stopped moving on my skin. "Meghan…wait." His voice was rough, strained like he couldn't breathe and deeper than I'd ever heard it. "You're going to regret this in the morning…please I don't want to hurt you." I shook my head at his words and ran my nails down his back.
Part of me knew he was right. But the heat was too much to listen to reason. I gripped his shirt as more of the heat increased down my body. My skin felt too tight on my bones. Every time our fingers touched, it was like fireworks went through our bodies. The heat in my belly was causing me not to think straight. "I don't care. I need this," I whispered against his neck as I clung to him. "It hurts. It hurts so bad Simon." He melted at the pain and frustration in her voice, but he still didn't want to take advantage of her.
Simon's breathing became uneven. I could see the war he was fighting inside of him. every bone in his body was at a stiff standing. Want and guilt colliding so hard that it almost made him dizzy. His hands stayed on my shoulders as he bit his lip. He wasn't pushing me away anymore, but he wasn't pulling me closer either. They just held me there. I could clearly see how hard he was keeping himself from just taking what he wanted. "I want you. Trust me I do." As he spoke his voice just kept getting deeper. "I've wanted you every night since the day we met. Every time your eyes meet mine, I have to force myself not to take you where you stand." His breath hitched as he spoke once more. "But your still in your first cycle after shifting. If I take you now…there's a big chance I could get you pregnant and I couldn't live with myself if I trapped, you with a baby during your heat. Especially if your mad at me."
His hand slid down my side and landed on my lower back. He squeezed tight and let out a sigh. All of that should have stopped me dead in my tracks. It should have turned me off. But being horny and being in heat were very different things. One you could control. The other controlled you. I still hated him for lying to me. I hated him for hiding the fact that he was the alpha. But knowing he still wanted me while trying to protect me, made my whole-body light up. And that was what I probably hated the most.
I lifted my head to meet his gaze. His eyes had already turned gold. His wolf was doing his best to take him over. But he was still strong enough to hold him back. He clenched his jaw so tight his veins were showing in his neck. He looked like his body was in physical pain just by holding himself back. I shook my head and kissed him hard. My breath mixing with his. My need for him flashing in my eyes as they turned that pretty dark pink. "I don't care." My voice was becoming huskier and shakier as I spoke. My breath was uneven. "You don't get to decide…what's best for me after you lied to me."
Simons eyes closed for a second like he was lost in thought. His eyes were fully gold now. Brighter than before. I felt how close he was to snapping by our bond. I could read guilt, fear, and most of all hunger on his face. The sight made me gasp. I watched him reach into his nightstand and pull out a black wrapper. Something inside me wanted to snap and I didn't know why. Just the thought of feeling rubber instead of him even had magna irritated.
Before he could unwrap the baggie, I snatched it and through It. It hit the wall and landed somewhere near the trash. It was too dark to see the exact spot. Simons eyes widened for a second. His jaw dropped open as his head turned toward me. "Meghan…what did you just do? That was my only one…- "before he could finish, I pulled him into a kiss. It was intense. Biting and licking and sucking. Our tongues circled each other and saliva fell into our mouths. When I felt him completely distracted, I used what strength I had and rolled us over. Now I was straddling him. He couldn't stop me.
"Meghan…please slow down" when his length met my vagina I saw stars behind my eyes. It made every sensation so much stronger. Out of need I ground down into his lap. His eyes rolled and I watched him bite his lip. Even after all this he was still holding back. His fingers dug into my ass while he tried to force himself to stay still. I could tell it took everything in him not to flip me over and take over for his own pleasure. "Just give in. you've already crossed a line with me by lying. Just give in…please." He pulled me down and gave me a passionate kiss. He even bit my lip before he pulled back. "I'm not trying to stop you. Trust me, only a fool would. I want you so bad. So bad that it's killing me. I can hardly think straight right now. But I'm trying to stop because I don't want to ruin your life. If you never forgave me, do you think you'd want a baby with me?"
I stopped moving for a second and took a breath. Reluctantly I pulled off and closed my eyes. "Is there a way to fix this heat without sex?" he let out a relieving sigh and nodded his head. "there's anal. It'll partially calm the heat." I swallowed. Great the one thing im not good at. I rubbed my face and just tried to relax. Even a partial cooldown would be okay. "Fine. Just please be gentle and use as much lube as you can. You have lube, right?" he smiled at me and ran my hair behind my ear. I had to remind myself I was still mad at him. "Yes, I do. I'll go gentle. I promise." He reached over my body and grabbed a little black bottle from the nightstand again. He rubbed it gently onto two fingers in front of me. his fingers were glistening. He gave me a kiss to distract me from his hand descending lower. His fingers slowly sunk in and it was a stretch id never felt before. With every push and pull I felt stars explode behind my eyes.
After he pulled them out, I sighed in frustration. I felt empty. but before I could complain I felt it. His thick head shoved right into the ring, and it was painful and magical at the same time. I clutched his shoulders and arched. He slowly bottomed out and held for a minute. "Are you okay?" I gave out a surprised laugh at that. "You feel so much bigger in that hole." He smiled at that. Oh, that was going to go to his head. He started to move in and out slowly and I gasped. Both of us were at our wits end so we knew this wouldn't last long. He started to rub my clit with his thumb and just the feeling of him sent me over the edge.
He followed soon after and cleaned us up before collapsing next to me. I moved to the side of him and leaned my head on his chest. "I'm still mad at you." He rubbed my head and gave out a purr. Id never heard him purr. I wondered if I could do that too. "I know. I'll take every bit of hate you give me. just please don't leave me." even after a short time of sex I couldn't stay away long. The heat was still there. But his scent and the release seemed to significantly cool it down. I fell asleep before I could answer. His soft voice was the last thing I heard before sleep fully enveloped me. "Goodnight baby."